Would love to take DD to America! Just want her to be in the best school!

[Pouncer1]

Many people dream of a large house, fast car etc if they won the lottery...I would just love to take DD out to America. Give DD the best therapy and school etc possible and let her achieve her potential.

Anyone else dream of things like this for their DC? Anyone moved to America or any other country to help their DC reach their potential?

Our house is currently in the market and a little part of me wants to use the money from the sale to move to America? I am looking at SonRise program but really not sure what to do. Maybe move there for a year and rent out there? I would only move there 'short term' and hope we would have enough money when we come back to buy again.?

Anyone done anything similar?

No pouncer1, no move to America, but I did go on holiday recently to the states, a waitress saw my son and was full of woe about how hard it is to get services for her autistic son over there. She was lovely but very distressed and thinking of moving to another state, so like overhere perhaps it's a postcode lottery? Wishing you well with whatever you choose to do though.

Why America? Most of your money would be swallowed up in rent, and living (as you couldn't work if you aren't a US citizen) and the SonRise programme would not come cheap...

There are equally (and to be frank far MORE) effective means of helping a child with autism that can be achieved here in the uk. Have you looked the research into SonRise as well as the hype? Sorry to sound so negative but just a quick google suggests that there is little evidence to support SonRise.

Have you looked at ABA ? (for which there IS evidence).. equally intensive, can be done here in the uk.. .

It is totally understandable that you want to do the best for your daughter.. we all want that for our children, but your idea seems a bit pie in the sky.. move there for a year (support yourselves..how?) then move back hoping you still have enough money to buy?

Please look at all the oportunities on home soil. I have many friends who, like myself have autistic children and actually their provision is not , in general, spectacular; in fact in many ways it makes me grateful for what we have !!

Yes...pie in the sky..100% correct.

We are just looking for ideas and feel i need to do something positive for her...lots of ups and downs atm and maybe i just want to get away from it all?

Looking in the UK..where is the BEST place for DD/us? Best schools?

Is there any school that offers ABA without having to fight for it, I have no fight left in me at the moment. Where we are ABA is unheard of :(

The US is a postcode and health insurance lottery. My Aunt's a SN teacher & Mum of four out there. Like most things we get to hear about the "Bel Air" lifestyle rather than the backwoods Acapulco one iykwim.

Thank you bochead

I don't want a cure just the best and I would love her to reach her potential!

Not to dump on your dream, but having grown up in the states, I have to point out a few things to you.

Services are just as much (if not more) a post code lottery in the states as well. Health insurance would be astronomically expensive for you (and you would HAVE to have it!).

One of my best friends in the states has a child with some disabilities, and she has always been very frustrated at the struggles involved in getting services and support for him.

The grass is just not greener there IMO. It's better here.

Rather than fighting elsewhere for support and services, keep your fight here, benefit your child in the long run by pushing to get local services up to scratch, and it will benefit the entire community. These will be services she will need as an adult as well - surely your time would be better spent pushing for changes that will help her as she gets older here where she will be living?

I have many friends in the US and live (literally) 3 miles from the Canada/US border. It is not what you think it is.

Frankly, seeing what is available in the UK for schools makes me jealous - in my province, with a population of 13.5 million, there are 7 hospital schools - and they serve (on average) 35 students per school for 2-4 years max. These are the "most disabled" children - multiply disabled - physical and developmental, and the aim is to set up a programme and secure equipment for them, and then move them into a MS school.

Aside from these 300 or so spots, you are in a publicly funded school - either in a "self contained" programme, a "withdrawal" programme, or full mainstream. There are only two other exceptions to this - some large cities have a school for the blind or a school for the deaf. There are no specialist SEN schools that are not entirely private (and even then, they are scarcer than hen's teeth). A student would NEVER have public funding to attend a private school.

It isn't pretty - I can go on for hours (and frankly, would just about fall down dead if we had access to something like DLA and the Motability programme). Here, ALL assistance is tied directly to income - for prescription drug coverage, dental care, Assistive Devices, home modifications... the list is endless. There is a multi-year wait list to access any respite funding, and there has been no movement on the list in the last five years (Bee only receives 30% of the respite funding that she is entitled to on paper).

In some areas of the US - it is even worse.

I'll admit, with regard to your original question, to dreaming about what I would do with a lottery win to help Bee.

We would employ a therapy assistant to implement the programs we do with her currently for physio, OT and speech/developmental therapy. That way, we could stop being Bee's therapists and start being her parents.

We would set up a fund to pay for Bee's prescriptions and equipment changes as she grows, and give all her old equipment to other families (we give away outgrown equipment already - so I have already checked something off the list )

We would build a new home - fully accessible - with the future in mind for both Bee's physical deterioration, and mine.

We would purchase a wheelchair modified van and use it only to transport Bee - to make it last as long as possible.

I would take a trip with DS - just the 2 of us. He would get to choose the destination.

We would buy or let a deluxe caravan and travel around the country on our own agenda - if for no other reason than to create memories.

Maybe I should buy a ticket...

Hi Pouncer

To Answer your questions:

Anyone else dream of things like this for their DC? Anyone moved to America or any other country to help their DC reach their potential? Lots... If I had £££ I would invest heavily in future assets as well as intensive therapy and assessments.

Our house is currently in the market and a little part of me wants to use the money from the sale to move to America? I am looking at SonRise program but really not sure what to do. Maybe move there for a year and rent out there? I would only move there 'short term' and hope we would have enough money when we come back to buy again.?

Anyone done anything similar?
A friend moved from London to NY because she felt that the services were better available there. Her 4 yr old goes to a special pre-school now and gets quite a lot of therapy at home and school. Some of it is self paid. She saw a marked difference in the way physicians treat parents over there. They are more open to testing and assessments than here. However, a lot of it is down to $$. If you can pay, then you can get enough tests done in UK(atleast London). If I were to move to America today, it will mean a good 6-8 months of distruption. Every family is different, however, for us staying put where we are and spending here would be a better option. If I had the ££ I would just fly to America or elsewhere and get tests done and fly back. I would spend the money on hiring a special needs nanny who can be ABA/Sonrise/RDI trained.

We are just looking for ideas and feel i need to do something positive for her...lots of ups and downs atm and maybe i just want to get away from it all? I feel like that too. This friend also felt that here they had lot os friends and their quality of life was great, but they werent doing enough for their son and so they moved to NY

Is there any school that offers ABA without having to fight for it, I have no fight left in me at the moment. Where we are ABA is unheard of - I dont know. However, if you are talking about the have-won-the-lottery scenario, then lots of doors open

We are planning a move to the US once DS has finished secondary education. DH has citizenship and works for a US company, so he could get a transfer pretty easily. I think there is a huge variation in provision and support, because the country is so huge, but it's pretty good in the states that we'd be considering moving to.

I've done a bit of reading up on the type of schools available, and agree that there isn't the kind of private specialist provision that we have here. DS has an independent ss named on his statement right now, so we wouldn't move area until he's completed his education there. There are no companies like Priory, Cambian, Witherslack etc running independent special schools. Kids like DS seem to end up in regular high schools, but possibly in a special education class, and there seems to be an even stronger bias towards mainstream there than there is here.

There are a few good private special schools in the US that I've read about, but they seem similar to the private SpLD schools here, they will take 'misfit/anxious' children with AS but not those who are school-refusing/show challenging behaviour or have more complex difficulties, and the emphasis is still on academics and not life/social skills. I think many dc who attend Priory type schools over here would end up in BESD schools in the US - which can be far worse than the ones here, they are like military academies/borstals .

One of the reasons we'd want to move though is that (in more liberal areas), there is generally better understanding and awareness of ASD. The rates of diagnosis are higher, we rarely have to explain much beyond 'DS has autism' as most people we meet have known someone who has it, whereas in the UK, we still encounter people who haven't heard of it, or have a very old-fashioned view of classical autism, or simply don't 'believe' in it.

My best friend is moving to America next week. Her son is in an independent school here with lots of respite etc. they still haven't sourced a school yet but they are hopeful. I will be interested to hear her experiences as the months go on. Another firend is out there at the miment - she is coming back next year and she cannot wait to come back

Thank you all for your replies.

I seem to be thinking a bit better ATM and won't be making any split second decisions. :) Things are a bit tough here ATM and so many changes...when this happens I just want to pack a bag and move away with DC.

We have our annual review next week and I get so anxious about speaking up, but I have no choice but to. We want the statement changed that she gets daily/weekly visits from SLT, is it best to raise this in the annual review or just write a letter to LA?

Raise it in annual review and make sure it is minuted and you have put it on your parent form.

I had thought about moving to Canada, where there is much more ABA acceptance. I could get a job there very easily (in fact I nearly did move there about 15 years ago, in another life). But they would not allow us to move there because of DS's disability. So that dream is off...

But they would not allow us to move there because of DS's disability. Who is they? I am curious

They is the Canadian Immigration system. If a potential immigrant has a disability or medical condition that forseeably would cost more than the average Canadian (what is that ?) in health care or special support, it is exceptionally difficult (nigh impossible) to receive immigration approval, even if you already have first degree relatives living here to sponsor you.

There are stories all the time of a long term visitor's visa renewal being denied or landed immigrant status being refused on the same grounds.

With wait lists stretching into years to access services and funds stretched ever thinner, the Canadian Government's view is that they have to pretend to take care of "natural" citizens first.

Our laws specifically forbid "queue jumping" through private pay for medical procedures that are available under the health care schemes (which are VASTLY different from province to province) and many Canadians are travelling to the US, Europe or Asia for medical care to avoid the waits here (google "medical tourism"). It is so pervasive that here in my city (a border town), there are radio and billboard ads inviting Canadians to cross the border for private pay medical care.

While ABA is accepted here, it is not funded aside from very specific circumstances - but then again, neither is OT, PT or SaLT.

Yeah - Canada is just that awesome. Anyone have a cupboard under the stairs I can move to?

That's right BeeMom. (I know a fair bit about it as firstly I lived in Canada for a while about 25 ago and secondly considered moving there about 15 years ago (had no children at that time)).

Even going there to work for just 6 months entailed detailed medical examinations and investigations, loads of checks etc. Canada is very strict!

Here is an example

Here's another one

Yet another one

Are we seeing a pattern yet?

All different families, of differing financial means, all the same outcome. Makes me ill.

So, theDudesmummy ... about the cupboard under the stairs?

That's shocking!

I am guessing, salondon it wasn't the answer you expected, right?

Canada has a really amazing reputation for being the sweet, polite, wouldn't hurt a fly good guys, but just beneath the surface it is immensely fucked up (sorry for the language, but there is really no other effective way to say it).

If there was even the slightest chance we wouldn't be left swinging in the wind, I would have left long ago.

Yes it's truly shocking. Like you said, I have this image of Canada being very progressive yet not aggressive :)

Thanks for the info

Didn't really mean to turn the thread down a Canada-bashing route, I just knew that they had a very strict attitude to immigration in general, but I was not aware how bad it really is wrt disability etc. I have always loved Canada (hence often longingly gazing over the Atlantic wth dreams of living there) but now have a bit of a different view!

Thanks for the information and links! It's very sad that a country can do this, it's truly shocking!