How Do you Discipline

[sammythemummy]

A child that has receptive language delay?

My dd does not take me seriously, she laughs at me when I put her on time out, whereas she immediately cries when her dad shouts at her.

My ds had receptive lang delay, at pre school age i didnt really do conventional discipline, as he wouldnt have understood time out, i went more for simple language, eg no, naughty, gentle hands etc, countdowns from ten, etc. Dont feel you have to do time out or naughty step or anything not geared to kids with sn

what TLP said

We do ABC Charts and like Light, simple 1-2 word commands

That place/cardigan/seat/pen/toy/room she has chosen to engage with is exactly what she wants right now. I find swift removal plus swift return on the slightest return of better behaviour works.

Strange things also work for ds, like 'Right you can only wear one sock until you stop'.

salondon isnt the ABC for good behaviour?

Ive been taking things aways or turned off whatever shes watching off but that sets her off even more. When shes angry she runs to another room and slams the door after shes hit me.

And shes also very smart in that she sometimes says sorry very quickly, esp if shes hit me, do i still "punish" her or just accept her apology

www.behaviorbabe.com/abcsofaba.htm

I kept a keyring with cards with green, yellow and red circles on it in my pocket.

I have a tendency to talk a lot (I know, this is shocking to all of you) but Bee didn't "get" it. I used verbal and visual (yellow/red) warnings, as well as green for praise in conjunction with very short words.

I also signed "no, stop, wait, quiet" etc. to help to support her.

I use a red and yellow card system like footballers with Dd3, she is older though and understood the idea after watching some of the last world cup.

It works for us and as beesmom says it reduces the need for loads of language.

I offer choices and reward for making the right choice if they don't make the right choice then I remove myself and only when they have finished will I give them my attention again. No punishments here as ds would make me pay tenfold and dd doesn't need them.

For Bee (and for DS before her) I found that reinforcing language with visuals all the time (which was why I use green for praise as well as the yellow/red for discipline) increased my chances of the child understanding and being able to internalise what I was trying to say.

Even now, when DS is not listening to me or I am frustrated with him (because he is a 14 year old boy, not because of anything ASD related) I find myself signing out of habit. In fact, DH and I got into a bit of a discussion row yesterday when I found out he is planning to travel without me for the entire weekend around my 40th birthday (for his hobby, not anything useful like business). I realised I was signing everything I was saying because talking to him can be like talking to a brick wall and started to laugh.

It becomes second nature... maybe DH deserves a red card?

I think it depends on what behaviour im trying to correct.

We have zero tolerance of things such as hitting, swearing or name calling (something that ds rarely does)

I have used replacing old behaviour with a new one for undesirable behaviours and logical consequences whenever possible.