Is it me or the teacher in the wrong here?

[Sunnymeg]

Brief bit of background, son 11 with Aspergers in last weeks of primary. Historically he has never got on with another boy in his class, let's call him X. Last school year X was in another class but this academic year X rejoined my son's class. X is not as clever as my son, and when they are together they argue constantly. My son finds it hard to tolerate him as he thinks he is stupid. I went in at the start of the year and asked if they could be kept apart. This didn't happen. They have been sat next to each other. I have since asked a further five times if they can be separated to no avail. I am quite happy for my son to be moved and the other boy left
on the table. Over the months the incidents between the two of them have increased in frequency and severity, ranging from name calling to fighting. Last week there were problems on four of the five days which resulted in me being asked to speak to the teacher or to the head on each occasion. They are still sitting together. My son now says that X is totally unbearable. I get the impression that the teacher thinks that if she leaves them together long enough they will learn to get along, but that is surely neurotypical solution to the problem. Incidently his Autism support worker recommended that they be kept apart as well.

I really feel like keeping him home.

I'm afraid I reckon the teachers are being rather stupid. How ridiculous. I would ask them outright what their own strategy is,and what it will achieve over an above simply separating them. Will Autism Outreach attend a meeting with you at the school? Grrrrr on your behalf.

Perhaps ask them to explain to you in writing why it is that they haven't separated them. You may find they will backtrack when put on the spot.

Do either of the children have a statement, and do either of the statements contain TA hours?

DS had a statement with full-time 1:1 which meant that despite him needing to sit at the front of the class, he say at the back, next to his TA who surprise surprise just happened to where the 3 most disruptive children of the class were seated.

No, my DS doesn't have a statement, on School Action Plus. Neither of them have a TA in class.

Does the teacher have an assistant of any kind that she uses to keep an eye on them and wants them together to make their job easier?

I would say starlight is thinking along the right tracks here.

I can see what you mean, but they are in separate groups for Maths and Literacy. My lad is doing level 6 work whilst x is in the
lowest ability group for all subjects. They have put all the boys in the class on one table, it's a small village school. DS has said he would rather sit on a table on his own than continue to sit with X.

I can't believe he hasn't been moved when both you and AOS have requested it. Try using the safety angle to get him moved: he doesn't feel safe next to this boy. But certainly keep pushing that Autism experts have recommended the move. Why have him on SAP and then ignore the advice of the outside agency?