breastfeeding and ASD. When did you stop?

[MeAndMySpoon]

Hello - quite new to this board. :-) DS2 is 2.5 and newly diagnosed with ASD though we've viewed him as probably on the spectrum for some time. DS1 is 5 and not on the spectrum. I'm breastfeeding DS2 (fed DS1 for 2.2 yrs) and though we 've dropped a lot, he still wants it at least twice a day - depends on what we're doing, where we are and how distracted he is! I'm not opposed to feeding him for a fair while longer, as he's obviously a different kettle of fish from his brother, and he gets a lot of reassurance from bf. It's also one of the few things he responds to if I suggest it (ie. If I say the word I use for bf, he will generally drop things and come running, but will effectively blank out most other suggestions.). What I am wondering now is how easy it'll be to drop it, and even if I want to drop it. I don't have issues with bf him for longer, nor doing it in public if I need to, but have been wondering if it'll help him with 'socially acceptible behaviour' - he has been known to stick his hand down the tops of women he knows well (my mum, a friend) and have a rummage!
I'm interested in hearing about experiences of bf a toddler (or older!) with ASD, and if there are any tips about stopping it gently.

Hi. I bf my dd (suspected ASD, awaiting ADOS) til she was 3.5

Like your ds she got lots of closeness and reassurance from it but she did it at bed time/night time only.

By the time she stopped she was beginning to lose the ability to latch (normal) so when I called it a day I told her the milk was finished, she had drunk it all now (one moment where a literal understanding came in handy). It was simple as that.

Stopping should be tailored around the needs of both you and your ds. Each situation is unique ASD or not. I am sure LLL will be able to help, as will The Breastfeeding Network.

I b'fed ds also Aspergers until 3.5. His sister was born then and he stopped immediately. I'm not sure whether it was because she was feeding and he saw it as hers or because he didn't like her on his patch or didn't like the taste of colostrum.

I didn't know or even suspect at the time that he had an ASD but I did know that he was quirky, could be hard work and that without b'feeding he would be a lot harder to manage. He was once he stopped - there were lots of times when he was 3-4 when I wished I could just calm him down with a feed.

I think if I hadn't had Dd he would have gone on much longer. Dd who is NT fed for much longer though only at home after about 3.5.

As for the socially appropriate behaviour, Dd didn't do it to other women as we didn't see GPs that often and wasn't close enough to anyone else, but was known to rummage around inside my top when it wasn't entirely appropriate at much older than 2.5. So I don't think it is an entirely ASD problem.

I would say that b'feeding is such a useful parenting tool for any child and especially one with an ASD to carry on as long as you and Ds want to.

Disclaimer: I have no experience in stopping b'feeding. Both of mine stopped because circumstances forced them to.

The hand down top thing I think is normal. My dd is nt and fed till 19 months. She is 3 and a half now and her hands still disappear down my top and has been known to do this to other people she is close to.

She did it to my mum when she was pushing her round the supermarket in a trolley. Unfortunately, my mum wasn't aware of what was happening and ended up flashing the entire supermarket!

DS (now 14, AS) was breastfed until he self-weaned at about a year old. Bee (NVLD/ASD) was not breastfed, as she had a stroke as a newborn and could not swallow safely.

Hi, I breastfed DS who has ASD until he was 25 months. I was almost 6 months pregnant at the time and ready to stop! I think my supply had really dropped at that point and it only took a couple of days of me&my breasts not being available for DS to get the message. I really miss feeding him though as it was so lovely having that snuggly time with him and 'boob' was one of the last words that he lost (he is mainly nonverbal now). When he was breastfed there were a couple of occasions where he tried to go for other women's breasts but he could be told no and removed from the situation easily - I think the women found it amusing but might have been more disturbed if he was much older? I agree with other posters that breastfeeding is a great way to pretty much instantly calm a fractious child and with DC4 I will let her continue as long as she wants I think.

DS is 2 yrs 7 months and bf at home: on waking, when attempting napping and before bed. Only at home on sofa. Also use when he has meltdowns. Amazing parenting tool, I agree. He has ASD.

la leche league article on bf and autism

until 2.5. I had to wean Dd1 off at that stage as I was 34
weeks pregnant with Dd2 and it got physically too much for me.

DS1 stopped very abruptly at about 18 months - he made it very clear he wanted no more by biting me.

DS2 kept going until 2.5. He only had an afternoon feed for the last couple of months and it soon became clear that he wasn't entirely fussed about that, so I stopped offering and he stopped asking after a couple of days.

DS2 still has a rummage down my top (he likes to see what bra I'm wearing!) and a friendly pat.

Ds was 3.5 and still BF at bedtime. I think both of us would have happily gone on for longer but I started worrying that it would be harder to stop if I left it too long, more of an ingrained habit sort of thing, and ds was already far too much a creature of habit! I don't recall it being too difficult to stop but it was 10 years ago so rose tinted specs might be coming into play . I did have occasions when I wished I could still BF him just to soothe him but then I'd have had to do it forever .

I stopped ds at 3 yrs 7mths. I knew myself he was ASD but wasn't diagnosed till he was 4yrs 3mths. I really feel it benefitted him to be fed for so long and it was fairly easy to stop. It was difficult to get him to sleep for a long time afterwards.

I bfed DS1, who has severe autism, until he was 4 (he was dx'ed at 2). When he was about 3 I finally night weaned him because both I and the clinical psychologist thought it was making his sleep issues worse. That was tricky for a bit, but he settled down and it did help with the night waking, and for the last year it was mostly just at bedtime or if he got really upset about something. I finally stopped offering the bedtime bf when he turned 4, and I think I only had to distract him a few times before he adjusted. He did put his hand down my top to twiddle my nipple when he was upset for at least a year afterwards, and he tried that with various support workers at school a few times as well .

My DD - just 3 and sociable but highly strung, sensory issues, wouldn't be surprised if she turned out aspie - was fed til 2.5, I had to wean her as I was very ill and needed antibiotics that were not BF friendly. I had to use bitter aloes (to stop nail biting) on my nipples and tell her that the medicine was making my boobies yukky. She accepted that pretty well but still wants to twiddle my nipples if she is sleepy. I have just persuaded her that she can put her hand there but not twiddle; I find it really irritating! DS1, aspergers, and DS3, likely aspergers, both self weaned no issues at all at age 1, as did DS2 (not ASD, but not completely NT either!)

I breast feed my DS who's 25 months between 3-6 times a day. He doesn't have AS he has an immune disorder.
I'm sick of the way other people view breast feeding a toddler... The comments & looks I've had in the past has made me cry.
If they are happy... & ask for it then I think it's fantastic for them to have the closeness & bond. After all our LO have a much more rough deal in life.
Carry on... You know best & your doing wonders for his immunity. Well done.

Hardymum, I'm so sorry you've been made to feel bad about feeding your toddler.

Thanks, everyone. I think DS2's recent diagnosis has knocked my confidence a bit, as I seem to be second-guessing everything and questioning my instincts a lot. I'm a bf peer supporter (I'm planning to have a chat about this with my fellow supporters next time we all get togther) and would not ever have thought there'd come a time when I'd be asking for advice on whether, or how, to stop breastfeeding a toddler! I agree, it is a fantastic toddler taming tool, and the main reason, I suppose, why I'm still doing it. At the moment, I can't really reason with DS2, and in fact we don't really have a good handle on his receptive vocabulary, so I'm not sure how much he'd understand. He does understand what I mean when I say 'nuff, nuff' (i.e. enough. I generally mean 'let go of my nipple right now'!) and usually accepts that, so there's something to start with if I want to change things, I supppose.

Thanks again. Am finding this unexpectedly hard, because we've been expecting this diagnosis for a long while, and now it's here, I'm questioning all my parenting decisions.

What an interesting topic - I don't have time to read all the replies now, but will read the rest of them later when I have more time.

My DS is 3 and a half and still BFs a lot. He's undergoing assessment for ASD at present.

He also has a rummage around other women's tops from time to time. Luckily no one has minded too much so far. I'm very happy to continue to BF until he self-weans. He has a very restricted diet, so I find it quite comforting that he is still getting a lot of calories and nutrients via my milk.

BF is very much part of his getting to sleep routine so I'm a bit worried about how stopping will impact on that - it's hard enough getting him to sleep as it is.

Agree with everyone who says what a useful parenting tool it is!

21 months, my DS with ASD.
33 months and still going, DS with no concerns re ASD.

I fed DS for four months. As a baby he would only tolerate being held in one direction and would only feed from one side. I expressed from the other breast and used a bottle but ended up with recurring mastitis. My cousin who is a midwife came to visit and told me to stop.

Fast forward five years and I was diagnosed with cancer in the breast he rejected. I have no idea whether the cancer was as a result of the constant expressing or if it was already there when I tried to BF son and some instinct caused him to refuse to feed from it, he took the breast milk in the bottle easily enough.

Hi Sunnymeg,

I hope you're doing ok now.

My son also refused to feed from one breast for over a year, but now takes from both sides again. Although I was very lucky and never had any problems with mastitis.

After hearing your story I'll try to be be extra careful about breast checks as I tend to be a bit crap at remembering.

Ds would only feed from one side until he went to the cranial osteopath so I think he just wasn't comfortable turning his head that way. I did used to get mastitis if I wasn't really careful (had to give up carrying ds in a sling as that always triggered it-among other things) but I was told by my doctor to carry on feeding as it was the best 'cure'.

Hi

I had the works, mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, but am now doing well Thanks. I can't stress enough how important it is to check your breasts regularly. It is all too easy to forget especially as our lives are so stressed at times.