Meeting with school tomorrow what do I need to ask?

[AMumGoingMad]

School said in our last TAF meeting that they suspected that ds(7) is on the spectrum and asked the GP who was present (with our consent) to do the appropriate referal. This area doesn't have a community paed so we're having to go to a development clinic at the hospital which no one is sure is the right place to go but there isn't another option.

Since this declaration from the school (which I must admit we did see coming from about 4 months ago) we've got ourselves into a bit of a pickle in our heads. I'm happy to admit we're ignorant about ASD but we've now done some reading and can see why school are saying what they are and we are the 1st to say that ds isn't the same as other children but he does have other disabilities that complicate things somewhat.

So we've arranged to see the school to ask questions which we didn't ask in the TAF because we were kind of unprepared for the conversation and there was a lot to discuss in the TAF and it was already 1hr in! We see tomorrow as much as a fact finding mission apart from anything else and we have got a couple of questions written down.

1. How would a diagnosis (if ds got one) help ds?
2. Does ds require a diagnosis to fully identify his needs and to fully meet his needs?
3. How do we know the issues are not being caused by his already diagnosed disabilities (SPD and deaf)
4. Are we exasibating the issues by accomodating his extreme need for routine and rigid approach to life to make life liveable by us and him? But does this mean he's not learning to deal with everyday life and we're reinforcing the problems?
5. What can we do to help improve the social issues now that school aren't already doing (he's had social interaction intervention for 2 years now and he's not shown any progress at all)?

Are there any more questions I should be asking?

The other thing that you could discuss with the school (if you haven't already) is what additional support and strategies that can be put in place while your ds is waiting for assessment & to help with the difficulties they have identified, regardless of diagnosis.
Our ds2 was also complex to dx because of pre exisitng disabilities (cerebral palsy & learning diffs) & sometimes it is difficult to seperate & identify which condition causes which problem.
With regard to routine & rigidity I can only speak from the experiece of my son but without his extreme routine he really cannot cope & therefore cannot learn, not only academically but socially etc.
Yes we do push him outside of his comfort zone occasionally but we have learnt to view his need for routine, visual timetables etc just as support that he needs to help him cope with his disability much the same as a his wheelchair.
Does he have IEP's at school and are the targets (academic & social) achievable & measurable.
It is also perfectly normal for you to feel all over the place even if the schools concerns aren't a total shock.
Take care

What does SPD stand for here?

Sensory processing disorder