DS put on time out chair at school

[CyrstalStar]

Id like some views from mumsnetters pls...Ds is hfa and usually well behaved at school so much so that teacher only recently told me she has never had to tell him off. He is 6.5. Not so well behaved at home or when out but that's another story. DS behaviour before half term got so stressful that I was dreading the half term however it turned out to be calm in comparison to what had been going on prior to half term. First day back yesterday and ds was totally stressed out after school, behaving erratically, kicking, not doing anything he was asked, really struggling with every little thing. All back to where we were before half term. At the end of the evening he broke down I assumed it was from
Pressure of being back at school and having to cope again, I think that was part of it but after much trying to talk about his feelings with him he told me 2 things that had obvs upset him that had happened at school, one was that the school fire alarm had gone off by mistake in class time and he screamed and ran round the room when it happened (so did another NT child) and that he got shouted at and made to sit on the time out chair as punishment. He was really upset telling me this and he was crying and really stressed saying he didn't understand why he got told off and that the alarm surprised him and that's why he screamed. I asked the teacher this morning if anything had happened in school yesterday as ds was really stressed out at home time and she told me about the fire alarm incident but said he wasn't scared or anything he was being silly with another child. Ds has sensory issues which to be honest are not major as far as I know, I'm learning more and more everyday but he is sensitive to bright light and loud noise. I don't expect my ds never to be told off coz of his issues and if he is misbehaving then that is fair enoigh but I think for a child who has never acted inappropiately in class to suddenly do so should be given a second thought. I think he reacted like this because as he said the surprise of the alarm. If he was being silly why would he tell me he didn't understand why he was told off, etc. what do others think . Thanks in advance.

Do you think his needs there are being fully met?. Think his needs there could well be not fully met i.e not behaving so well at home (this could be because he is actually bottling up all the frustrations of the school day).

Is your DS on anything like School Action Plus and/or is known to the school SENCO?. If he is not I would be asking why that is. School need to be made far more aware of his sensory issues and act accordingly. His teacher to my mind handled this quite badly; your son did not understand why he was told off. Also you need to bear in mind that teachers generally are not trained or skilled enough to fully get to grips with the whole gamut of SEN anyway.

I would also be thinking longer term and wondering how he will manage at Junior school. This could well be very difficult for him. I would also now consider applying for a Statement of special needs from the LEA for him.

Do not forget that you are his best - and only - advocate.

Thanks for both replies. He is on school action plus but nothing has changed so not sure what it entails. I will be having a meeting soon to discuss. Plus an IEP is being done which wil also be discussed at the meeting. I'm very worried about how he will continue to cope especially with juniors around the corner. There is no way he did that to be disruptive or even thought that he was doing something he shouldn't do he just isn't like that at school. He's petrified of being told off there. He is only just able to go inyo school wothout clingy to me and being forced in, now he has a ritual that we follow saying goodbye twice kiss Twice cuddle once wave at the door, has to be done this way exactly every morning. Before we all knew about his ASD (although i actually known for a while) and got his dignoses The teachers told him that if he didnt come in nicely he woyld be sent to the head, this scared the living daylights out of him. once The headteacher came along one morning and told him he must stop being a baby he is a Big year 2 and must go in properly. I think he then developed this goodbye routine to cope with going in so now although he clings to me in the playground he does his routine and goes in alone.

Yes that's true...he is my little soldier :-)

I'd probably tell him that the teacher doesn't know what is in his head, she really thought he was being silly, and that even grown ups can make mistakes sometimes. He knew he wasn't being silly and you believe him, and it's finished and you will tell the teacher that he wasn't meaning to be silly, he was shocked by the alarm. And that it's finished now.

Yes exactly that's it. Thx