First visit to pediatrician re possible ASD...what will happen?

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

My sister has asked me to go with her to see the ped about her DS. He is 3.3 years old and there have been concerns about him for a good while but sister has had a lot of stress. She has by her own admission had her head in the sand a bit (not surprisingly as she's had a VERY tough year)

Anyway...she's asked me to go with her and DN as she's nervous to go alone and DN Dad isn't in the picture.

Sister only got the ball rolling when she started DN at nursery 2 months ago and immediately they drew her attention to some red flags. Told her she should speak to the HV.

HV agreed and said "We won't bother doing any assesments through me...I've noticed something might be amiss." (gotta wonder why she never SAID anything!)

Anyway...meeting ped next week. What will happen? I will be there with sister as she feels unable to do this alone and wants me there to support and because I have DN a lot for her and know him.

DN has language but it's mostly repeated from the TV. He doesn't engage in pretend play at all...but is sociable to a point. He likes company and enjoys bouncing on trampoline or cause and effect type games...(me pretending to drop things and shout Whoops!" he never plays with toys at all preferring computers or iphone.

He has a few stims...finger wiggling mainly...also very sound sensitive....has a bit of a meltdown when by loud noise like a busy road...but...
He knows all the alphabet by sight and numbers to about 20. He doesn't write but is trying to work out reading.

he doesn't share anything...no coming up and telling you things. He also seems lately a bit clumsy...comes down stairs backwards still and needs help getting up them. If you throw a ball to him he just looks and lets it drop.

He is a happy booy though...but I am worried for my sister...and DN...what will ped do at the meeting?

I can't. Tell you what he will do, but I wanted to offer a suggestion if that is ok?

Why don't you sit down with DSis before the appointment and make a list of all his traits and tendencies so you don't forget any of them. Going to hospital appointments is always stressful, and you ve already mentioned that DSis has had her head in the sand over this. Taking time to sit together and discuss things before the appointment will be less stressful and may help the ped progress things with more focus.

Mikkii that's a good idea thanks! I will tell her....Polter that's what DN needs, he definitely needs SALT and I suppose OT will help him learn to play with toys? Kick a ball etc?

He doesn't really scribble or anything which is a worry but he likes it when I draw things for him. His attention span for anything other than computers isn't good.

Hi neo I remember when you posted before about your Dn! I am so glad he has been referred, you were so worried about him. He does have a lot of red flags so I can see why you are worried. Its great that his mum is able to see his difficulties now and I hope that the paed is a good one.

I agree with the advice above, especially about making notes so your minds dont go blank(thats what happens to me) and about videoing stims and meltdowns.

Good luck and well done for being such a great auntie

Hi... Nothing to add to good advice here.
The diary and listing what he likes and dislikes are a good idea for the appointment.
He sounds like a marvellous little chap and you sound like I brill auntie.... Can I steal you please?
Good luck