anything to worry about?

[babyjane67]

hi all
i have added a msg to another thread but no luck so will try own thread
im also on the hypermobility one!my4&half yr old dd has this&i have slight concerns about her re poss asd?
shes still at playschool&starts primary in sept.
she plays alot on her own&has very good imagination.playschool say they have no real concerns about her but are working on her sharing&interacting with other kids.shes ok long as theres something out she likes&she will play with another child then such as the dolls house but if theres nothing out she likes she just prefers to play on her own.she does the same at home getting any two things&givivng them characters&making them talk to each other!can be even bits of loo roll or my mums walking sticks when we go there!she talks to the other kids but she goes off on such long conversations that the other kids get bored&wander off bless her!we have been to playdates&shes fine&they play well.she can be bit bossy though&if they stay for dinner she tells them off if she thinks theyre not eating/sitting right!
shes very strong willed&will argue blacks white with you!will have meltdowns now&then.have given up using naughty step cuz it just doesnt work anymore!she screams blue murder&can go on like that for good45mins!then once she is quiet refuses to turn round&look at you&say sorry!i find counting to3or saying i'll take a fave toy away works better now though not always!
she can be talked around sometimes.
when she plays with her play food she uses an old book as a menu,ask me what i want then bring it to me&stands there waiting for me to eat it.when i do she sort of jumps exitedly from foot to foot&flaps her hands.
she also doesnt sleep well in her own bed.it started7months ago&she wouldnt settle on her own at first.we had to stay with her til she fell asleep&she also wakes up every night&we were going into her 6or7times!in the end we gave up as it was coming up to xmas&my dp was doing xmas bonus so lots of hrs!weve managed to get her to go to sleep without us staying with her now.we check on her every10mins but shes still getting up&coming in with us in the night.weve had2night where shes stayed in her bed all night which we rewarded her for.
she puts things in her mouth alot,her fingers(to the point shes gagging!),a pendant on her necklace,her letter magnets from the fridge,etc!
her speech is excellent&has been from a young age,but she does come up to you at times with a book or something&talk an absolute load of gobbledy gook you cant understand!lol
shes a very loving lovely little girl with a good sense of humour&i love her to bits!i have two other grown up dds,one with a dd of her own so its not like shes my first.ive just got a 'feeling'that shes different,quirky,eccentric whatever!
sorry for the long post but trying to get it all down!lol

she also wont admit to having done something when shes told off,even if you KNOW she has she'll still say i didnt do it mummy!
she loves to dance round the room&sing&put on puppet shows for us.

I have waded through all the text without spaces and &s and got to the end - very hard to read! It sounds as though you are already worried. She sounds a helluva lot like my dd2 at that age except that my dd2 had a severe language delay. She did and still does the thing of picking up random objects and makes them into character (am thinking of a recent episode where a stapler was talking to a pair of scissors, they were mummy and baby.... we have drawers full of dolls and associated paraphernalia ). In my case dd2 is now 8 and remains undiagnosed although I am hopeful we will get a diagnosis soon. At the moment your dd is still very young. I would advise you to keep a diary of what triggers tantrums, and log the episodes of interaction which concern you (the telling off of other children on playdates.... my dd2 does that). You will probably find it difficult to get teachers etc. to listen to your concerns at this age.... a more noticeable gap between her and her peers might not show up to school for some time, but I hear what you are saying. See how transition to school goes, some children cope fine at school and others don't. Your dd2 might just be quirky, but I would keep an eye on things. In the meantime, read up as much as you can.

thanks for your reply handywoman&sorry if it was hard to read.was just trying to get it all down before we went out for the day.
i have read lots of threads about asd&have gone on the autism site which is why some of what dd does is standing out to me
good idea about keeping a diary!
will see how things go in sept when she starts school
im hoping she is just quirky bless her!

hi all
can anyone suggest any other web sites,books etc that i could read about asd?especially regarding girls?
would it be worth asking hv to come out before she starts school?
will obviously keep reading the threads on here too!
alot of them do suggest a link between hypermobility&asds
thanks

Hello, as has already been mentioned keep details of any behaviour that concerns you and how it is different to other children. You can google checklists to see what specific areas to look at and search on mumsnet for specific posts relating to ASD and girls. If you do have serious concerns then there is no harm in speaking to your HV or GP now as the process of assessment can take ages. When we first went to the GP we gave them a list of all the things that were concerning us so that they could use that as the basis of a referral on to a paediatrician.

thanks boobybum
how old was your lo when you first went to gp with the list?
yes am reading all threads concerning girls with asd&am keeping a diary.

Hi, my DS was around 2 when we went to the GP. We did also speak to the HV at that time but as referral takes so long we wanted to speak to as many people as possible to speed up the process.
What I would suggest though is looking into therapies such as ABA now. We had an inkling something wasn't 'right' from around 18 months and I wish we had started ABA then rather than waiting for the diagnosis. You don't necessarily need professional ABA but teaching yourself some of the basic principles could help. There are plenty of threads on here about ABA if it's an area that interests you.

ok thanks will have a look at what that is exactly&what it entails.
did hv actually come out&see yr ds or did the gp?

some of the things on checklist ring a bell with dd but by no means all.
though i know aspegers shows up differently with different people.
she chats to adults much easier than other kids,can remember&recite one of her many books off by heart!

Playschool staff are simply neither trained or skilled enough to spot children who may be on the ASD spectrum. Am not surprised to see that they have no concerns.

If you can keep a diary of her behaviours do so. I would also film her playing if you can.

Re this comment:-
"will see how things go in sept when she starts school"
Please do not do that. Your DD could too easily and quickly fall apart in school (one example of this is really becoming angry at home after bottling up all the frustrations of the school day), that's where she and you will really start to be dragged through the mire.

Teachers at infants are also not trained enough to spot children with additional needs and if she is both quiet and compliant she could well end up ignored and unnoticed and with her additional needs unmet. Address this now for your sakes and get the ball rolling!.

You are her best - and only - advocate here.

I would also now speak to the GP and asking for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. Your concerns re your DD are valid ones and do require further investigation.

GP is better placed to do assessment that a HV, this person can and should make the referral.

thanks for that attilla
how old was yr lo when you first had concerns?
i know by reading other posts that diagnosing girls is much harder as they can hide it much better so things are missed.
do the behaviours have to be done all the time/every day for it to be a worry?
i ask this as dd doesnt do all of these things all the time/every day,just some!
shes sat next to me now playing with a balloon&2feathers she picked up on the playskool nature walk!talking to each other!

when we take dd to gp does she need to be with us or is it best for her not to be?

As the GP appt will be about your child then I think your DD will have to attend. The GP will not actually be diagnosing but can make the appropriate referrals to paediatrician etc. Do not let the GP fob you off without a referral. When we first went the GP we saw just glanced at our son and said she was sure he didn't have autism! I have no idea what she thought a child with autism looks like but our son very definitely has autism. Don't forget to take your list of concerning behaviours with you and leave it with the GP.

thanks boobybum
will do that.
i thought as much but only reason i asked is so i know when to book it for!ie not on a playskool day!lol
dd has seen the paediatrician once before regarding her hypermobility,as she was complaining of pain with it
that was in nov2010
she checked her all over,took blood tests&got her to 'draw'a picture
will that make a difference this time round?
i mean would paediatrician have picked owt up then or will it be different as its concerning poss asd now?