Daily Mail article - made my blood boil

[tattyqins]

Link is here... I don't know why I bother looking at that newspaper, every day something else pisses me off.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2332376/Shes-mum-sparked-outrage-saying-special-needs-son-dog-shed-So-sorry-Read-.html

Not what the mum has said, but the snidey way they are blaming her family breakdown. This is what I have had to deal with from the school and my daughter's father. Also the assumption that a private diagnosis is selling out to the drug companies.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1767004-If-my-son-was-a-dog-Id-put-him-down?msgid=39357885#39357885

Main board discussion.

Bloody awful article.

'Of course, whether this behaviour is caused solely by his learning difficulties or by other influences in Ryan?s life is not clear.'

'While many parents and experts will testify to the prevalence of ADHD, others are sceptical, suggesting that it is merely an excuse for a lack of discipline and lazy parenting'

'Sceptics might see this as evidence of their suspicions that ADHD has proved very profitable to private doctors and to pharmaceutical companies'

'Why would you have a fourth child in your 40s when your other three had been such a trial?'

And in relation to her suggestion that he could be better cared for in a residential school they write:

'Whether her son will feel the same contentment at being separated from his mother is another matter.'

Its very upsetting, its all the things that have been said to me by the school:

'children will do anything for attention in the light of a family breakdown' well i've got two other children who are coping just fine.

'she doesn't behave like this for me - you have no boundares and you spoil her' hmm you see her once a fortnight.

Nasty nasty article. What is striking, which (unsurprisingly) the Daily Mail hasn't properly commented on, is that the child in the article has a mental age of a 2 year old. No amount of so called 'bad parenting' could get a diagnosis of this! My brother-in-law is nearly 50 and has a mental age of a 2 year old. That didn't happen by 'bad parenting'!

Very unpleasant nasty article.

rosielou my thoughts exactly. I hate the tone of their articles. What gets me is that people like my mum sit there, lips pursed, reading this rubbish. Although she has improved and admits that she no longer assumes kids having meltdowns are just naughty, so there's some hope. If you look at the on line comments, people are generally having a go at the paper. I hate that people might think stuff like this about my son and our family (5 yr old, Asd) but mosly I have handled this by narrowing my social circle!

Ooh are the comments having a go at the dm? Makes a nice change.

Until my son was properly diagnosed and now has a raft of 'labels' and diagnoses, my biggest and most vocal critics were my other grown-up children! Errr - I brought them all up in exactly the same way - only difference in upbringing was I raised older children totally and utterly on my own as a single mum without their father, whereas DH is very much involved with DS. Go figure! (Although now DS has proper diagnoses, they understand now.)

I remember her interview on this morning. The comment re putting her son down was taken completely out of context. She was saying that there is such a lack of help and support rather than wanting to actually out her son down. Yes, indeed the part about his mental capacity seems to have been completely lost and they are only going on about his ADHD.

I don't think her term "should have been put down" was wise if what she was actually referring to was lack of support mostly for her.
When I heard about the TM feature, (I didn't see it) I thought they were going to reveal her son had something like "locked in syndrome" or a similar condition resulting in a drastic reduction in quality of life.
There is no way this child would be better off dead. OK, he has the mental age of 2 and additional issues but I expect for the large part he is a happy child.
I understand (as the mother of a child with learning difficulties) that this woman is often tearing her hair out.

Tea and kittens - so glad I can't be tempted to read. There was something about this on Jeremy Vine, last week. I turned the radio over before I was tempted to hurl it through the window.

From the snippets here, it seems typical of the DM for judging the mother instead of judging a system that leaves her feeling so unsupported that she's able to express such shocking sentiments.

i actually came across that and just didn't read it or the comments because I knew what it would be like.

I ain't touching that thread in AIBU, no way

Yes I think the phrase referred to was not the best phrase to use. She has 4 children with difficulties. The 3 elder ones have done well. She clearly loves her younger son and I think she was trying to simply ask for help and may have used the phrase not realising how quickly that quote would be seized upon. I think if you were to talk to her today they are not the words she would use again but sadly forever more those words will be linked to her and used

I agree, absolutly horrid DM!
I think the paper completely and deliberately missed the point! They have been deliberately controversial and I suspect not listened. By going on about ADHD they have played to the anti ADHD league, rather than the difficulties of caring for a much loved but severely disabled child, - who has the mental age and behaviour of a two year old -for life. I think she was trying to say she has no choice but in other situations there usually are choices (like divorce, putting down a very distressed pet). I can identify with her comments. I am certain she loves her youngest child and works very hard to help him in every way, and might be looking for a residential specialist school now he is presumably approaching secondary age and teenager years.
My teenage son also has ADHD as part of his long line of DXs including autism and learning disability. I can quite understand how the strain of fighting for help for our disabled children can cause marriages to break down, and parents health to fall apart. But we all know that having been there. Residential school would only be considered if in the childs best interest - a 24 hour timetable with specialist staff who get adequate sleep and support. I know of several severely disabled young people who have blossomed in residential care.