New baby & Special needs toddler

[kelly772696]

Hi guys,

I have a 2.5 yr old who has speech & social delay, he's not potty trained and still has problems sleeping, understanding etc. Investigation into his needs is ongoing by paediatrician and he's attending therapy sessions every week.... Busy schedule !! No diagnosis has been given just yet as its early days. I am also 8 months pregnant, this will be my 4th child (big age gap between the first 2). With my first 2 children the age gap was the same as this time round however none of them were delayed in anyway. My question is does anyone have any advise they can give me in not panicking about coping with a new born and my 2.5 yr old? It's only been recently that I am now starting to worry about how I will fit all the therapy sessions, doctors/case workers meetings with a new born not to mention my 13 yr & 15 yr olds needs ?!? I know, I know I should have stopped at 3 Any advise would be greatly received thank you. Oh and forgot to say my husband can be very helpful, I'm not on my own however he's just starting his own business up so timing is rubbish!

Well, not all therapy is equal. You won't help your child just by attending something, so first thing first is to do a paper exercise and order the therapy/appointments in terms of their concrete and evidence-based OUTCOMES for your ds.

Do the same with the meetings. How many meetings have led to tangible OUTCOMES? Ask for an agenda before they happen, request that someone somewhere tells you how that particular meeting will benefit your ds and how they know. If they don't, then it is a waste of yoru time.

Hi,
I had a similar situation with a smaller gap between dc and also found it daunting. I agree with what star said about prioritising what you and your child spend your time on. Also, I found that having some of the therapy take place in the home did free me up and cut out some of the travel/waiting time. Plus ds1 was much better on home turf! When ABA therapists came to work with ds1 I nipped off to spend time with ds2. Some areas have portage too (ours didn't) and another option is to hire a special needs nanny even if only for a few hours per week if you can afford it, to give you some time off and at the same time quality input for your child with SNs. SNAP is one agency but there may be others. What I've realised so far is (as many people told me at the time) it is a marathon not a sprint and it is a good thing to recognise that you might need extra help. Good luck!

Thanks for the advise, I'm just realising that not all the classes are beneficial for him. I've stopped going to one this week as it was just another toddlers group to him.... He can have play time at home/park/swimming pool or round a mates house with other children. There's one afternoon freed up :)

I'm sure I will be fine, still getting used to the idea I have a child who's being investigated for special needs! Ups & downs and pregnancy hormones probably don't help !

Thanks again

We had DS3 when DS2 was 3yo. DS2 has SNs, however, we didn't have any type of diagnosis (or medical assistance of any kind at that point, as our GP was being obstructive).

It was a struggle some days, but the most important thing for us was keeping DS2's schedule as close to the same as possible, as routine is such an issue for him. I do think that it's just a situation where you have to find what works best by trial and error a bit and adjust as you go along.

Sorry, I know that's not much help, but there's no magic formula - it's all play by ear anyway, isn't it?