Autism- feeling a bit down :(

[lovemybabyboy]

My 4 year old DS has autism (classic, non-verbal), now my 19 month old DS is showing signs of autism, he is very different to how my 4yr old was at that age but still showing signs. I am 31+5 weeks with DS3 and I can't stop thinking he might have autism too. I just have a bad gut feeling that all three will have autism and its making me feel really down!
Has anyone else got all their children on the spectrum? How do you cope? My DH thinks I am over reacting and thinks DS2 is fine but he also thought the same about DS1 at the beginning when I first had concerns (when he was turning 2 and still not talking). And it doesn't help that my Mum asks every week on the phone (we live in different countries!) how DS2 is doing with development, speech etc, I just want her to stop asking, my health visitor will not do anything until he turns two so what is the point of keep asking me and getting me more and more stressed/worried etc, i really don't need this at 7 months pregnant!
I don't really know what I expect from this post, I hope I don't sound stupid for posting!

It doesn't sound stupid at all! I get what you mean with the worry, I have an older dd with autism and genetic condition and then a baby who is nearly one. I watch her obsessively and because dd1 regressed I am not even reassured when she is developing ok! Then I feel bad because dd1 is so lovely, I just don't want the struggle again for dd2 or us. It's horrible and must be hard to be reminded of it by your mum.

Do you get on well with the hv? Just wondering if you could speak to her if you are worrying, I certainly spoke to mine before dd1 was two but she didn't start speech therapy till two, it meant she started straight away though and gave me a bit of support. Saying tht I haven't spoken much to dd2 hv as I don't find her much help so it depends if you get on with yours.

this sounds like a very worriyng time for you.

have you talked to your GP and discussed a referral esp as DS1 has Asd? I have found HVs nothing but ignorant and unsupportive when raising concerns about Dd (autism). in the end I sidelined her and got referred via GP.

do you have any other worries than speech? understanding ok?

maybe worth getting a referal for a hearing test to rule out any hearing issues?

have you done the M-Chat? if it flags up anything it would be useful to take along to GP.
m-chat.org/mchat.php

I have two children with asd. I as heartbroken when I started to notice dd having symptoms so I know how you feel. The only positive I can say is that although ds is severely classically autistic, dd presents differently. She is still quite affected and has v limited language but she is more sociable and more interested in playing etc. I suppose I am trying to reassure you that your second child may be on the spectrum but this doesn't necessarily mean more of the same! I could also do more for dd because I spotted it earlier and had more experience to be able to help her. I tried to avoid discussing my suspicions about dd with everyone but in the end it was better when I had voiced my concerns because people then stopped asking me questions about her speech etc and i felt less pressured. Maybe it mig ht be worth confiding your worries to your mum and telling her you want to stop thinking about t for a while until after baby is Ron. Se might then stop asking you questions about development.

ds1 is 9 and ASD - fairly classic but does have verbal language, ds2 NT is 6 and a half so similar age gap to your situation. What are the signs that concern you ? Are they specific concerns that come out of the CHAT test or other autism screening test - or are they more generalised concerns that something is not right?