Not following instructions

[MummaBubba123]

My son decides what he'd like to do and finds it difficult to (doesn't) follow instructions.
It's been since he was about 2.
He's grown out of the toddler-ish behaviours (running around the outside of toddler music group, while all the other children join in and follow. Will he grow out of this?
It's very isolating to have a strong-willed child. He revels in the slightest friendship moment- but puts others off with his desire to do (and have them do) what it is that HE would like to do. Persuasive rather than pushy, he is charming with it. Conversations are also controlled - with an emphasis on talking vs listening and responding - also keen up get me to talk about things he is interested in.
I've posted about it before. Last week, he was aggressive for the very first time (he is 5 and a half)
It was a tough week for him. He feels isolated and the children's seating arrangements at school were all changed. Could be guessing / justifying it.
Struggling and feeling paranoid in the playground - that's me. Lol
I just don't want mums to alienate him by talking badly of him / not inviting him on au dates. A teacher at the school is also a mum in my class - and a HUGE gossip).

Do you feel there's more to it than just being strong willed? As you've posted here, I'd guess so? The controlling aspect it what stands out of your post. I'm sure there's a good book often recommended for DC who want to be in control. I'll see if I can remember it before someone else does.

I have one of these. DS2 is 7 and in class 2. Have teachers ever talked to you? DC not following instructions makes life hard for them. They usually want you to have hearing checked. If all is fine they may request SALT assessments - part of the CELF-4 is Concepts and Following Directions and Understanding Spoken Paragraphs.

DS2's teachers have suggested 'absence seizures' (its not) and now want him assessed for ADD.

KOKO1, yes- every day!
Lol (crying but laughing).
Having his hearing checked soon - have booked appointment with the GP next week to ask for a referral.
He is at a private school as I thought it would be better. Does CELF apply to private schools?

The explosive child might be the book ellenjane is thinking of. if conventional behavioural techniques havent worked (eg. time outs, reward charts, consequences) then im sure youd find it really useful. Have you heard of Pathological demand avoidance too? Try here for more info www.pdacontact.org.uk/

Yes, I have. I'm going on a course called 1,2,3, Magic today (1/3). I've no idea how to go about getting a diagnosis for these things and whether it'd be in his interests or not to have it on record on his medical file.

123 magic can be great for NT kids but if there are SNs (particularly PDA) involved then that technique can be disastrous.
I would give 123 magic a try for a couple of weeks, if it doesn't work then go to your GP and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. That will get the ball rolling for an eventual assessment. The benefit of a diagnosis is that it identifies the difficulties children face and then home and school can adapt to be less challenging which can have an enormously positive impact on a child's life. A label of a 'naughty child with useless parents' is much more damaging.

NT kids?

Sorry- neurotypical ie. average.