DD (6) never gets invites to parties and is often told that she is 'not allowed to play' with 'friends'/girls in her class.... what would you do?

[josben]

DD has not had a dx of ASD, but she does has learning difficulties and has always struggled with making friendships - I am not sure what I should do...

I had a 'friend' of DD's round to play after school - I do this to encourage friendships for her = but I feel its all on our side - I invite girls to play but she rarely gets invites back....

DD doesn't seem to be too worried about this but when she tells me she's not been allowed to play at playtimes etc I feelso sad about it....

What would you do??

Hi josben, it takes me so long to type that I'm sure someone more knowledgeable will be along soon.
Sorry if this seems really obvious, but what does the teacher have to say about your DD not being allowed to play? Is the school intending to put anything in place to address this?

My dd's school gave her lots of help when she was struggling at school. She was encouraged to join 2 lunch time clubs-gardening and knitting, which she loves. She also got to spend one play time a week with a ta who talked over friendship worries with her and taught her games she could share with the other kids.
My ds1, who has special needs, had a nurture group created for him at the same school and the kids that became part of that look out for him.
I would try and write down how often this is happening and talk to the teacher- they have a responsibility to do something.

Keep up the invites :) Dont worry about her not being invited anywhere just yet. The main thing is that you are helping your DD with the social side of things.

The only time kids would call to play with DS when he was younger was if it was raining :( but I kept at it.

DS invites people in now but they rarely stay inside as he is still rigid in his play and wont budge from his after school routine regardless of whether he has guests or not and of course they become bored watching ds to this or that so they soon depart.

I have had to keep the convo going and really to start with its was me playing with the kids rather than him, but he was picking up useful conversational lines, manners and now does thinks like offer biscuits or drinks, direct people to the loo etc. Its taken years not weeks though lol this week he was invited to tea by another up and coming friend next week. This is the second invite he has had since he started school and he is nearly 8. I am thrilled and worried sick at the same time lol!

A school meet is a must to sort out what they are going to do to help support your DD.

DS has playmates rotated in the playground, games with the TA to learn turn taking and not changing rules!

Playground time he is rewarded when he agrees to play something someone else wants to play rather than his choice.

His classmates are rotated to sit next to him so that each child got to know him and he them without the playtime hustle and bustle. This has helped as it has helped him form relationships for play. The more he learns playground rules and social rules the better we hope and the stronger relationships will be. But the school are on top of it and so should your childs school be.