Aibu?

[jussi]

Haven't been here for ages although lurked.
Moved to new area just before Easter, kids love house and settled well.

6 year old DS with autism and statement started at mainstream primary which I chose.All good,calm patient LSA,teacher seemed willing to listen to me but in last week they seem to have closed ranks.

At end of day LSA started telling me to speak to the teacher rather than her.Thought ok so decided to make appt to discuss various things rather than drip feed each day.SENCO contacts me saying meeting cancelled due to something else.

Arranges a meeting at a time and date she knows I can't make.This is with herself,class teacher and autism support teacher.All good and if I can make it will definitely go.

However, ,I just wanted a brief meeting with the teacher to discuss my DS's progress so far as up to now I know he likes hugging a penguin in the library,enjoys lunchtime club but refuses to do any work.when he gets stressed he is taken on a walk around the school(umpteen times).

As the meeting was cancelled I asked a couple of questions in his book about planned 1-1,carpet sessions and reading books which he hasnt been given any since starting 3 weeks ago.

The 1-1 is refusing to respond to my questions saying the teacher should answer them and so far the teacher has fobbed me off saying has had no time and is speaking to the SENCO.i don't want to know what should be happening,I want to know what is actually happening.

I am really pleased he has settled well socially and they have said they are taking things slowly but how slowly is slowly? Obviously I need to speak to them to find all this out but the LSA won't tell me and neither will the teacher.She said the ASC support person was pleased with their strategies so why not tell me them!?
I want to know have they done any assessments ie phonics,maths,rtc,when will he get a reading book,what 1-1 is he havi ng?, what strategies do they have in place to get him to work,reduce his stress,etc.
I don't know how stressed he is in the day as they just tell me what's made him happy which is lovely but I also need to know the other side of the coin too.

Anyway,I've really waffled but am I being too impatient as its only 3 weeks in or do you think it's reasonable I want to know about strategies and plans at this stage?
Thanks.

well I think it would not be unreasonable to expect a better level of communication, that's for sure!

perhaps they are still finding their way with him? not an excuse for the multiple fob-offs, though.

in short, no, you ANBU.

Nothing worse than being palmed off when you are only interested in your sons welfare it causes irritation and also doubt in your head that something is amiss. I dont think you are being unreasonable with this just concerned.

I am thinking from an outsiders point of view for a second though without the emotional tie you have for your DS :)

The school is new and its only been 3 weeks. Sometimes schools like a term to assess things.

The school has cancelled a meeting but has made another with everyone involved there rather than just the teacher. Perhaps (and I am really guessing) that maybe the SENCO feels that a more involved meeting is necessary for a thorough update on your DS progress and having the autism support there to help discuss strategies as the next step after his settling in period?

This sort of meeting is not necessarily a bad thing as everyone involved will be there. Take someone with you for company so you dont feel outnumbered.

Maybe what might help is if you email or write to the senco in advance of this meet with a list of bullet points that you would like to have brought up at the meeting? copy it to the teacher and autism advisor also.

It will then mean you have a head start.

I wouldnt have a go at the communication side of things straight off it may be that the teacher prefers her LSA to just do her job but leave the parent questions to her. LSAs sometimes long to be more involved but are simply not allowed to.

I would put a hint in your bullet points about who should be point of contact for concerns?

Get a paper trail going just in case they are an obstructive school and emails are great as you can file it with the response as a record :)

I would give them the benefit of the doubt first time round as they are just getting to know you, your DS and how best to help him.

Second time round ? well I would kick off lol

Thanks for replies.makes sense.very reasonable Coff! I know I can be impatient and it is good they have arranged this meeting .i just wanted to speak to the teacher about general classroom information as well not particularly related to autism.(which I am now going to do in dribs and drabs after school). (children won't let me wait for longer than 5mins)!