Aspergers DS missed school today because of obsession.

[LynetteScavo]

DS1 has a history of school refusal, but not in the past 3 years (since he started high school). When he was in Y6 we found the best approach was to let him have that day off, and start afresh the next day.

Today, rather than leaving for school he stood quietly weeping in his bedroom. I could see he was too distressed for school, so told him to take the day off, making it very clear he was going in tomorrow. I went to work, came home at lunch time, and managed to work out he had been so upset because DS2 had ruined something on his minecraft game. DS1 spent the day putting right what was wrong with the game, and is happy once again.

I emailed the school explaining the situation before I knew about the minecraft problem. I thought if he's going to start school refusing again, we need to be working with the school, rather than pretending he is ill.

Do I now admit to the school I know why he was off? Part of me is appalled and embarrassed my child missed a day of school because of a computer game. But a friend who is a SN TA assures me I did the right thing.

You did the right thing. You didn't let him stay off because he wanted to play MC, but to let him repair his world that had been damaged. He would probably have accomplished little at school that day and you could have been set back quite a way. My DS had a duvet day every now and then, and the school understood.
I wouldn't bother the school with the exact reason, but I'd make sure that he's in tomorrow.
And Words Must Be Had with DS2.

hm will watch with interest. DS has only started school refusal this year. He is year 4. He has mulit diag of ASD, dyspraxia, dyslexia and spd.
I have not had a lot of support with how to deal with refusal and as yet haven't let him have a day off now wondering if I should be taking this approach.
I worry that ds will then set it in stone that if he says he is not going then he wont have to and what to do about work etc.

school refusal - oh boy! Two of my children have problems with this -

my ASD 17 yr old has always needed the occasional "aspie" day to be able to cope with mainstream school and all the social issues. About 1 a month or thereabouts. I used to feel guilty letting him stay off, but not any more - because using this system he has managed ok in mainstream. Let your gut instinct guide you as to whether the day off is really needed - you know your child better than anyone.

My 13 year old ADD/ASD daughter is another story. School refusal has developed into full blown school phobia, and she has not darkened the door of the school since Easter. I let her have the occasional day off too, but when these became more & more frequent did push hard to get to go to school. The result - a nervous breakdown. Some children find mainstream social interaction just too overwhelming.

If your child can manage mainstream with just a few aspie days here and there do not sweat about it. He needs it.