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Original poster

Advice on home ed wanted please

18 replies

PeachyClair · 15/05/2006 12:35

We are considering pulling Sam from the DX system as we clearly will get nowhere, and the constant stream of let downs is having a bad effect on me- not sleeping, panic attacks sometimes twenty a day, weepiness. If we don this we will have to partially home ed Sam as he isn't moving forwards at school (we can't actually remove him from school for various reasons- not least that uni keeps me sane and DH needs to sleep in the day as he works nights, and Sam can squawk quite a lot).

Does anyone know of any resources where I can get any tips? I will have to start from the beginning, as he cannot now recognise his full name of Samuel, only Sam, despite us using it daily on his snacks.

Thanks for any advice

OP posts:
Socci · 15/05/2006 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
PeachyClair · 15/05/2006 13:17

6.5

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macwoozy · 15/05/2006 14:34

I've no experience of home ed, but just wanted to say how sorry I am for you that you've been let down so badlySad

spacedonkey · 15/05/2006 14:38

Peachy, there's a new Home Ed topic under Education - I posted a link there this morning for Education Otherwise, a great organisation who can offer much help, advice and resources if you're considering home ed

jenk1 · 15/05/2006 19:37

Peachy, Sad for you and your DH.

We took DS out of school last Nov, we initially tried part time with him going in the afternoons but this didnt make it any better.

He now is at home full time and we have 2 tutors from the LEA who spend 1 morning and 1 afternoon a week with him BUT we had to fight tooth and nail to get this for him and threaten them with allsorts.

If Sam cannot cope at school, eg if it is making him worse and affecting his health then you can get him signed off by your GP, i dont know what your circumstances are or if you will have him at home full time with you but once he has been out of school for 15 days they are supposed to provide home tuition.

Please email me if you have any other questions or ask here and i,ll be happy to help. Smile

Original poster
PeachyClair · 16/05/2006 09:44

Hi jenk

He was lovely all weekend, really happy. Then Monday came and he went back in a state of misery, has been a nightmare since.
The school said he has lots of friends, but DS2 (always a reliable witness) says his last friend has in fact filled the vacancy left when the child bullying Sam left last term Sad. School says that's crap, and he's lying. The biggest bully is the school though.

I would go maximum part time home, just knowing me. The chap we saw last week suggested Uni was Sam's real problem- hardly, it's always been the case with Sam and I go 12 hours a week.

I am going to call the NAS now see what they say about everything.

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jenk1 · 16/05/2006 10:12

Peachy, have you contacted your local Parent Partnership or IPSEA?
I only ask because Sams school sounds just like DS school. we got "well he doesnt come and tell us when he,s upset or anxious etc" and " are you sure that you are not just seeing things that arent really there and that he is just doing this for your benefit?" that comment made me so Angry, it was only Parent Parnership being at the meeting that stopped me from losing my rag and the lady backed me and DH up totally.

IPSEA have been wonderful and have given me lots of tips etc on how to deal with school, it sounds to me like Sam is being made worse by a school that cannot cope with his needs and you are right its usually school that are the biggest bullies.

Am i right in thinking that Sam isnt Statemented?
Dont let them put you off by saying that because he isnt there isnt anything they can do because thats what they said to us about DS and its absolute rubbish.

Jayzmummy has been through this as well with her DS, there are a few of us that have.

Have you tried krism.org.uk because there are a lot of mums on there that are having the same problems and the advice i got on there has been brill.

Original poster
peachyClair · 17/05/2006 17:16

I spoke to Ipsea today (theya sked where I heard of them and I said a few people on MN had recommended them, mainly you and MeerKat, and you could actually HEAR the volunteer blush!). They're sending me stuff, given me info and we think we will apply for a statement. I think its just sinking in that most 6.5 year olds can write their name beyon three letters.

I wrote school a stern letter yesterday, asking if now they would refer to the CORRECT agency. I think the Head must have read it as she happened to be covering the class that day- ha ha ha- well the referral to CAMHS has been made (only took a year), the IEP was finally signed after a few weeks of just sitting there ignored, and the teacher looks decidedly sheepish today.

I think the difficult part is that I know most kids in his calss are really happy there, its truly an excellent school for NT kids and I am glad that DS2 and DS3 are going there. But they need to get their act together with the SN kids.

On a sadder note, I had to chat with the mother of DS's best friend today as the friend has teamed up against DS1. The Mum is single handedly campaigning against bullying there, but just said 'well i think ds finds your ds a bit hard going' I just stared at her (brave for me) and said ,yes, but he came home black and blue that day and I struggled to get him into school the next morning. That's not on' and she got all embarassed. I understand that other kids will struggle with him, but these two usually get on and surely tolerance is a good aim?

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 17/05/2006 21:02

peachclair,

ahhhhh IPSEA; bless their cotton socks!:). I am ever grateful for contacting them myself.

Glad you phoned them, they are very helpful and have clout. Also glad you wrote school a stern letter as that shower of the staff at school have acted very poorly to date.

BTW there is nothing to stop you directly applying to the LEA in question re your son. Certainly do not let school apply for you. IPSEA's website have some model letters that you can adapt for your own use. www.ipsea.org.uk.

With best wishes to you and your family

AttilatheMeerkat x

Original poster
peachyClair · 18/05/2006 11:52

Are you aving a larf? school apply for us? that would mean admitting there was an issue fgs!

No, we like the idea of going over their heads, and indeed have noticed how much paperwork has, erm, appeared since they called in Camhs just a day or so ago.... stuff they should have done months ago, like copies of IEPs for us and the like.

What was interesting to note, after speaking to KidScape, IPSEA and the NAS, was how shocked they all were that a school of 400 ish pupils doesn't have a single statemented kid, and only one with any Sn needs that have been acknowldeged (before she moved here).

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Bozza · 18/05/2006 12:01

That does sound suspiciously unusual peachy - the lack of SN kids, I mean.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 18/05/2006 12:52

Peachyclair,

Re your comment:-
"What was interesting to note, after speaking to KidScape, IPSEA and the NAS, was how shocked they all were that a school of 400 ish pupils doesn't have a single statemented kid, and only one with any Sn needs that have been acknowldeged (before she moved here)".

That does not surprise me in the slightest am sorry to say.

There are now two children (one being my son) in the infants school DS attends who have statements. Before DS attended there was one child in the entire place with a statement (btw he got permanently excluded). Around 8/10 others are on School Action and or School Action Plus. The Head has admitted to me that there are a couple of children in DS's school who could do with a Statement and do not have one.

The previous incumbants main concern was the SATS results - her overall attitude was stuff the children who had problems learning. She did not want the extra work.

Re the statement application I realise that you would not let school do it (he'll be in the juniors by the time they get around to it!) Would strongly urge you to just apply for it yourselves.

School haven't dragged CAMHS into this sorry mess of a situation have they?. Argh!!!.

Original poster
peachyClair · 18/05/2006 13:04

CAMHS are required to report in order for us to get a DX, we brought them in...... the Ed Psych they referred us to before ahd no Psych training and was just a teacher who knew a bit about behaviour, but didn't think Sam had any issues (but hadn't ever met him)

We welcome CAMHS with open arms!

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 18/05/2006 13:39

Just hope you don't get messed around with by CAMHS either!.

jenk1 · 18/05/2006 15:21

CAMHS? Angry tut tut mutter mutter......

Original poster
peachyClair · 18/05/2006 16:40

Well DS was beaten at school and had his fglasses smashed today- and the school deal with it Shock

Mum came to the house (know her anyway) a grovelling!!!!!!!

Shame we have to go away with no glasses for him tho, he'll keep tripping over guy ropes!

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Pixiefish · 12/06/2006 17:13

No experience of home ed but I have of home tutoring (secondary teacher and do some home tutoring for LEA occasionally) Before you do anything please remember that if you pull him out of school you'll only get 5 hours a week tutoring (as jenk says)
HOWEVER- if he becoems a school refuser or is expelled he'll get 15 hours. It's really unfair and I'm not saying you should go down this route but remember that you'll have a harder fight if you pull him. Does that make any sense or is it really crap

mamadadawahwah · 14/06/2006 09:02

go to : www.education-otherwise.org/

this site is excellent resource for information on home ed in the UK

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