Behaviour - suspect PDA/autism - what the hell do I do now?

[searching4serenity]

DS is almost 4, wonderful of course, but extremely challenging. We are beginning to suspect PDA/autism & feel totally lost.

I would like to get him properly assessed 1) to be able to get through the day and 2) to help him at school. We live in Herts.

Done a bit of reading on the Norcasa site - wifi connection v slow but anyway- & they want GP referral. DS appears totally normal ie just a bit naughty and I fear not being taken seriously by the GP. So he is very confident & has good eye contact etc but basically is almost completely uncooperative, won't eat / get dressed/ pee / leave the house / car & has sensory issues since he was born. He repeats lots of what I say; is quite obsessive about things being done his way etc etc. Recently his behaviour is spiralling and he is trashing his room / the bathroom etc. & I'm getting worried that he won't get on at school because kids don't like the fact that he can't share anything and they often hold back from him. We're just putting this all together and are feeling overwhelmed and scared for the future.

Can anyone suggest who I might see for assistance? We could afford to pay for it.

I am making my way through the PDA you tube vids which are v helpful but at the moment I just need to talk to someone to validate what's going on.

Please can anyone help??

Im really wondering does my child have this. Is language delay part of this would you say?

Cupcakes, I believe language delay can be a part of PDA, but with a 'good degree of catch up'. My DS didn't have any really noticeable delay. Mainly I just remember him refusing to speak and saying 'No' to everything, as a toddler...! But nothing that was ever picked up on.

PS I was just quoting there from the NAS website - what I meant to say was I don't think language delay is a major criterion for diagnosis?

Thanks for the reply Currerbell. My dd does is 3 is talking but not always sentences but she seems to understand most things I say but if I asked her what colour is something she couldnt tell me even though I know she knows.
She has bad tantrums, refuses to eat dinner with us, flys off the handle at the littlest of things like a butterfly on a cartoon or something. Starts throwing things over when she doesn't get her own way or the attention she wants. Thats a few examples of the way she goes on. I think she might have this, I really hope not but I think it could be.

i meant to say my dd who is 3

Cupcakes, have you tried to get a paediatrician's referral? I am not an expert, but bad tantrums could be meltdowns related to stress/overload? My DS finds it hard to sit and eat dinner with us - he finds structured group activities very difficult (plus he finds it hard to sit still!). Your DD is still very young, but if you're worried she could have an ASD I would seek some help.

As I understand it, PDA is recognised as being on the autistic spectrum. My DS does have autistic traits such as spinning, zoning out, sensory issues, obsessive tendencies, and he also struggles with transition times. But he can adapt well to changes and doesn't need strict routines. I'm still not entirely sure whether he has Aspergers with demand avoidance issues, or full blown PDA, but using the techniques for treating PDA has certainly helped.

when did Phil Christie retire? we were with him at the ENC in Feb this year for a follow up, cheers.

Pdamum Your blog is brilliant! So much useful info on there and really interesting to read about your experiences too.

This is my first post on here.
I just been flicking through all these comments and it is so reassuring to know I am not then on my own.
Today is a bad day.
Since about January of last year (just after my sons 3rd birthday) behaviours started becoming more obvious. Total defiance, refusal to do the simplest of tasks, 'his way or no way'. Speaking to me like im dirt constantly, Violence towards me ie hitting, kicking, punching, biting, pinching etc etc, Always been a fussy eater before everything else started. Spent three years fighting at bedtime. Can take anywhere from 30mins to 5\6 hours to get him to go to sleep. Today... Wow today he punched his teacher and another child at Pre school, this isn't his first violent outburst at school, he has previously on numerous occasions put his hands around throats (including mine).
Excessive energy which fails to burn off no matter how much I run him around. In September within week one of preschool (had spent two years in nursery prior) his key worker informed me that she had contacted HV regarding behaviour. Spiralling is an understatement. Unsettled and uncooperative at school when it comes to sitting for stories etc. Runs riot and is difficult to bring to calm. He is a happy, confident and very bright little boy. Loving and likes curd!es etc. Loves playing his way with lego or superheroes etc like any normal by. But his behaviour is so bad. On a good day he is amazing and love!y. On a bad day I don't know how he survives. I try talking to family and they're quite old school, as in he is 4, all 4yr old boys are like it. I am tired of patronising know alls so reading other people have the same and similar issues makes me feel a little better. We have a Paediatrician , have seen OT (Discharged after one visit and diagnosed as hyper mobile). Eyes tested and glasses fitted. Has been discharged from the ear testers (sorry I forget the name lol) although has again become sensitive to loud noises like shouting, clapping, high volume music etc. Paed said he is showing signs of ADHD but after reading about PDA that seems to fit his problems moreso. Sorry for the long post but it feels good to write it down.
Thank you and sorry for jumping on your thread xxx

He is 5 in December btw

adele have you asked for an EHCP or do you have one (or a statement) already?

If I was the primary school expecting him in Sept, I would be keen for all the help I could get....

And portage maybe?

Sorry its taken me so long to get back on here. Paed asked us to come back in six months although the appointment was in Feb and review in Nov. She suggested that as he is too young to diagnose that I should just carry on doing what I'm doing. I don't understand the ABC idea? Its not something I have heard of before. We are under the help of a MAT (multi agency team) and our allocated worker visits 2\3 times weekly to catch up and review. We have a behavioural specialist involved alongside the inclusion team. We have regular meetings at school with everyone. We have had and been discharged from audiology although a new referral is going through as he has started complaining that loud noises hurt him. And covers his ears a lot. His eyes were tested as glasses have been fitted. Although the glasses are just one more thing that gets thrown at me (his favourite pair were thrown under a car in anger) they haven't mentioned in diagnostic pathway but he might be. You don't sound patronising at all. Thank you for coming back to me xx

Senvet he has an IEP at preschool which will go with him to primary school but he hasn't been statemented. What's Portage??? X

He has since hit another teacher too x

Oh OK thank you... Never thought of that lol xx