Fixed period exclusion of 45 days, 6 year old ASD

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I haven't posted on here since we got DSs diagnosis but I'm sure someone on here has some advise.
My Son 6 ASD has been excluded from his ms school for violence against staff. His aggressive behavior has escalated over the last 5 weeks resulting in him hurting at least 3 staff members.
This last week he was removed from his class and kept in a room with his TA and another. He became even more aggressive, not surprisingly and threw whatever he could at the staff. They then removed everything from the room so it resembled a prison cell and his aggression further increased. I spent an hour with him in there on Tues morning and all he kept saying was "I want to go back to my class, to my friends" I was heartbroken to leave him there.
There was an emergency TAC meeting on weds am which my DH attended as I am a blubbering wreck and had just done a night shift. They then suggested part time schooling or a short term exclusion but then when I picked him up he had hurt another TA and they had decided on this fixed term exclusion of 45 days. I just got up and left, they have sent the paperwork today.
Basically we don't have much family support, no family liaison or social worker. We have tried to do this quietly on our own but obviously we now need all the help we can get.

We are currently in the process of trying to move to SS but we have to wait until assessments are carried out and his statement is amended. He has a G statement.
Any help would be very gratefully appreciated.

Email me off line.

45 days is the longest they are allowed to give in a single year without it being a permanent exclusion. I guess they are hoping that the move to the SS will happen before the 45 days is up so he does not return to this school. The 45 days is school days so basically most of the summer term. Have you been given a number for the exclusions team in the LA? They have actually been quite helpful for us in chasing up appointments with CAMHS etc as well as trying to sort out a new school placement for our team. Parent partnership is another possible source of help and advice e.g. they will accompany you to school meetings. In the meantime school have a legal responsibility to be providing work for your son.

The thing that stopped my ASD boy from being aggressive was ABA. Maybe have a look at getting a consultant in - it is basically a behavioural method of teaching. It is pricey, but tbh there was absolutely no-one else around in my whole extensive tour of the it autism world who had even the faintest idea how to deal with the aggression. I am very very glad I dealt with it early, as my boy is predicted to grow to 6 ft 5 pretty soon! Think they could use ABA for the NF kids' aggression too. There is a Website called ABA tutor finder,

I think you could challenge the exclusion; its a massively long time (never heard of 45 days in a row) so please have a look at the ace website for their free booklet (downloadable) on fixed term exclusions.
They will have to have a governors hearing which you can attend.
Try parent partnership.
Emergency review of the statement.
Why were you in there with him during school days - that rings alarm bells.

The exclusion finishes on the 13th June and states he should return back to school then. They provided me with the guidelines to go with the exclusion and sent some work for him with his sister.
I just find it so hard to understand how he is like this at school and not at all at home. He has a 4 year old sister at home and has never hurt any of us that badly. I understand that he is pushed harder at school than at home but he by no means rules the roost here. All it takes is a firm voice and a distraction to prevent any behavior from escalating.
I was in school because we had been for a visit to the SS which I have to do the transport for as they are informal visits and school wouldn't arrange transport, and when we got back he was very distressed so I was reluctant to leave.
They are obviously hoping that he will have moved by the end of the exclusion. I really just want him to leave now but am feeling a bit stronger and want to fight them for the sheer Hell of it. Will his funding still continue to be paid to the school whilst he is on exclusion? They shouldn't get money for him when he's not there.

How convenient that this ties in with a bank holiday weekend at the town hall!

IPSEA website gives a clear guide to the law on exclusion. Follow the guides they provide to write some letters according to your child's statement status. If you want to ring them 7pm seems to be the best time to catch them.

This is clear evidence that the school cannot meet your child's needs and tbh the LA should now be moving heaven and earth to organise a managed move on your behalf ASAP rather than allowing a six year old to carry something like this on his permanent record. Write to the governors as per the IPSEA guide and do copy your letter to OFTSEAD.

The school should be funding home tuition or another form of full time education (eg placement at an assessment centre) for the duration of his exclusion. Sending a few photocopied worksheets home does not fulfil their duty to provide your child with a full time education for 45 days! failure to do so constitutes very discrimination.

Talk to the SN & Education welfare officers at the LA - they'll hold the school to account on this point on your behalf. Send an email as your initial contact to ensure there is a written record of your request for help. Oddly LA's are quite sympathetic with parents of young children in this situation (I've been there!). There's a general public perception that the problem lies with the teacher/staff who can't control a KS1 child, rather than the child themselves. With teens it can be a very different story.

The next few weeks will be emotionally challenging for you, but hopefully by Xmas you'll have a child who has spent a full term in an educational setting that can meet his needs and is finally happy. Do hold onto that vision.

Is should have known I'd get all this amazing advice on here 😊
Are all these people going to be available over the Easter break?
They did mention a short stay school, which is mainly for kids with behavioral issues not SN but they said it would be too confusing for him, like excluding him isn't😠
The headmistress has been off at another school for the whole of this school year and all this has happened under the care of the deputy/acting head.
They gained another child with ASD in September and had provided
him with a room to himself full time whereas before last week DS had to go into the courtyard for his own space. Really good in -6 degrees!
The more I write this the angrier I am getting. I'm just so rubbish with crying when I talk about it I come across as a pathetic thing. Any tips for shutting down tear production so I can get my words out 😥

Oops Emojis don't work then!

Website and helpsheet and you can request the school arrange mediation They won't (it costs) but it demonstrates they are being totally unreasonable when they refuse. Inclusion can be done

Do you like the special school? Is it right for him? You'd have a very good case for an emergency move, you don't have to agree to wait for them to amend the statement. This would be the sort of circumstance where the change of school would actually make it easier to assess. Even Essex agree (see page 6)

oops I meant page 6

Excluding DS meant two things. ONE rejection from them as he insisted they were mad at him and he really wasnt wanted. TWO He would then use it to stay at home if shouting was all it took.

He did not understand at the time (very immature 5yr old) what he had done wrong. Which of course he wouldnt seeing as running hiding and yelling was his only method of escape from stress.

What is it they are making him do that is causing him to be this anxious? Yes demands are placed on him but far to many by the sounds of it.

Could they not just let him stay with his friends in the class and leave it at that just to allow him a period of settling. It seems the removal is a form of rejection to him by the way you have written it.

I could be wrong but would there be away of getting a rough draft of his timetable? Of what they EXPECT of him in a school day?

Worth trying saying something like you wish his excluded days to follow the same routine as a typical school day right down to putting his uniform on in the morning as you feel such a gap away from school would only make it harder to settle when he gets back? Anything really just to get a gist of the timetable :)

Perhaps it will then be possible to discuss each day with your DS in a casual way as in "what do you have to do at school now DS? you have to help me as I am learning what your day should be like" to prise his normal school routine out of him.

This could well be your gateway to seeing just how much stress he is under and of course proof that they are not meeting his needs and the fact that the school is, in fact, escalating his distress resulting in aggression

Hi, you should find most people are around over Easter. The lA should arrange education from day 6, unless its an academy in which case they should.
Remember you have a say in this - is there a different special school you like? Has there been an annual review to amend the statement? Do you even a special school?
Is there anyone you could talk to about this? Please try ipsea or parent partnership so you can.