Quick question re academies

[LimboLil]

Hi the school my child attends converted roman academy in July 2011. We are going through SA at the moment and haven't yet decided who to name on the statement. Can they turn us down? It's the type of academy that is independent from LA if that makes sense?

Ps thanks for listening by the way. Feeling very down about all of this today. It's a horrible feeling when you are being 'managed' out. Tbh the point about them being an academy is irrelevant really, I think a school either wants to be inclusive or it doesn't. There are plenty of other kids in the school with statements, but I'm guessing they came in with theirs. He is hard work though lol he's lovely, really gorgeous and very funny but a shed load of hassle for them and probably an even bigger shed load of cash!

Coffpott the Headteacher want even there, just another member of staff. The. Ht was supposed to be there but no mention of why not. I predicted to my oh that would be the case just before I won't in. It really was a horribly predictable depressing morning.

A teacher said all this to you? and she has the right to come out with this? I am gobsmacked. Well no I am not as I had one try to do the same but got shot down in flames.

It makes it all the more important that you email the HT to confirm this is what she/he intended their member of staff to come out with. Again I would do it in a polite "just to clarify" email listing all who were in attendance. I know you dont want to engage but really suggest you cover yourself and watch your back. Whilst he is there they could try anything to not support.

Also having this paper trail will help you provide information to prove that the school is not suitable and a new one of your choice is. Also if you should have a tribunal to go to (I didnt I gave up as no strength) this is all valid information that may help you in it.

Not trying to upset you are give you too much to think about as I know how heartbreaking and mind bashing it is x but would hate you to fall foul without it being necessary x

Try not to feel down try to feel that you have had a lucky escape of a crap school. It is not you or your sons fault it is their fault for not coming up to scratch and helping a child. It is them that have failed big time.

With regards to your lovely boy I have no doubt he is lovely, gorgeous and funny :)

I cant advise you on which school would be best for your ds as only you know that within yourself. I would read through reports and weigh up the odds of SS or another MS.

DS left the horrid school anxious, angry, low self esteem, thought he was stupid because he was called it and lazy and non compliant, couldnt read or write and would not tolerate a class for a minute let alone all day. would turn tables upside down or hide in cupboards. I actually thought SS was the only way forward at that point as his trust was completely shot away.

He started new ms school and yes he was anxious but because a statement was being adhered to he had his chill out area, was aloud extra excercise etc and the necessary training courses done for the staff and just the plain fact he was understood helped enormously. It took 4 months of commitment from a new school that was all to turn him into a completely different child. :) It can happen.

Perhaps go view both SS and MS.

Aw thanks. Tbh he is well supported and on a day to day basis, I have no concerns that the teacher and esp TAs take good care of him, but his progress is still developmental, not academic. It wasn't the teacher I saw but the HTs next in line and I have no doubt whatsoever that they discussed in great detail beforehand how to position things. It may be that they thought I would be less upset or intimidated with them or it may be that the HT is a cowardly custard I think it's the latter TBH in some ways, it would be a relief to not be a part of it anymore but I'm not handing them reassurance on a plate and there are lots of really serious considerations to take into account before I move him. I have an older child at the school and I have promised him that nothing will change for him, he loves it so very tricky all round.

You see that's the difference with my little man now, he is no longer anxious and unhappy, he's actually got very easy going and fun loving again and his communication is coming on leaps and bounds now but he is still significantly different to peers. The bit I am afraid of is going through absolute hell if he reacts badly to a change. And it's not just him I'm worried for, it's all of us and I told school that too because they don't live in our house and understand the huge impact it had on us last year. I guess I'm a happiness before achievement kind of gal! There are other kids in school with SN and statements and the ones I know, I doubt very much that their learning is in line with their peers so I'm not sure why it's presented to me as a problem with my son. I'm like, okay then, go at his own pace. I think I've gathered I'm not raising the next PM.

If you do feel your ds will be happiest at his existing school and that's what you want then definitely get PP onside and speak to the LEA Officer as well. Our LEA Officer explained that wherever possible they like children to attend their local MS school and if that's what a parent names they will do everything they can to make sure they go there.

Even if the HT doesn't want him there for whatever reasons, if the staff are supporting him well and he is coping and happy there is no legitimate reason they can give for moving him - unless his behaviour can somehow be proven to be detrimental to the education of other children - which isn't as easy as it sounds for them to actually prove.

Over the process of obtaining my ds's statement and getting him into the right school we have gone from feeling like the LEA was our adversary, to actually building quite a good relationship with our Statementing Officer and that has really helped. She told us the LEA would fight to get him into the Academy that refused him, if that's what we wanted - but we chose not to, simply because if they have that attitude before even meeting ds, they are unlikely to support him properly and extremely likely to try and get rid of him through different means. It was clear that their motivation was one of snobbery and finances and I didn't want ds exposed to that kind of attitude.

Fwiw, the school he's in at the moment threatened to refuse to be named if we persisted with specifying and quantifying the statement to the extent that we wanted it. LEA basically told them to pipe down, as he had been in the school from nursery through to the end of year 4 already so their argument was seriously flawed - especially as he suffers from severe anxiety, particularly with change, so moving schools would have been highly detrimental to his mental health at that point. Our Statementing Officer said the LEA wanted him to remain at that school, so they would make sure that ultimately that would be what happened. Interestingly, I have since found out that this was unlikely to be the opinion of the school Head, but probably that of the SENCO, who is also an Assistant Head, so given enough leeway to deal with things directly without involving the Head every time. Of course she has an axe to grind, as she has direct responsibility for the SEN budget. The Head himself is actually very inclusive and was lovely when he was acting SENCO - we got far more support for ds over that period of time than at any other time he's been at the school. I have been told similar by other parents and if you can manage to bypass the rottweiler SENCO and go to him directly with problems they are usually resolved very quickly.

So, I agree with Coff33 definitely write to the Head directly, marking it Private and Confidential to ensure he actually receives it first. Not only for a paper trail of evidence, but also to make sure that what you've been told is genuinely coming from the top.

tbh I am 100% confident it's come from the head. I had a similar meeting a few months back from another staff member (who left) and they had called me in on the head's instruction. That meeting was much more aggressive and forceful but they went nicey nicey after I spent an hour on the phone to IPSEA. The meeting this week was done in a very clever way, I can't give too much info as I am sailing a bit close to the wind here, but the staff member was drawing on personal experiences and using that as a basis for a cosy chat but it was also being presented almost like a done deal, which it certainly isn't. I think putting it in writing will make things worse as they will say, oh but I was just telling you how I felt about my own experiences, not telling you what to do. LOL I have had years of that type of manipulative bollocks from my MIL so I'm no stranger to it!!!!! I am pretty certain from what they said that the LA will name them on the statement so if we went for that, it would then be a case of seeing if they said they could not meet his needs. At this stage, I think I almost need to clear my head of them and try and think logically about what will be best for him and I have been very undecided to date. They have messed with my head in a very clever way and I have not a great deal of respect for their tactics.

ps if it was down to me at this stage I would take both my kids out. But my NT child would be heartbroken and my funny little man would probably not miss them in the long term, it's more what the impact of a new environment is going to put on him. I really wanted to try and handle things without PP but think I am going to have to get them on board now. I am just so disappointed at how horrible this situation has turned, either way I will be going in and out of that school for the next couple of years minimum and it's not a pleasant feeling every day.

We have had similar responses to written confirmation of what was said in meetings Limbo. Including the meeting when the SENCO said that not only would they refuse to be named if we persisted with specifying and quantifying his statement, but that absolutely no mainstream school would take him.

It was one of the few occasions when we actually received a written response to our letter and the climbdown and backpedalling was a wonder to behold.

I still think it was worth doing though, as what the school didn't know was that between that meeting and writing the letter, we had spoken to both the LEA and IPSEA and related the whole story to both. Both of them then told us the school is not allowed to say what they did and to request it in writing.

Sounds like your school uses very similar tactics to ours, since we got our new SENCO.

I had the same dilemma re siblings, plus the school is across the road from our house and I am unable to drive, so moving them would not only cause a lot of upset, it would also be a logistical nightmare, not to mention all the other local schools are oversubscribed and no better - and in some cases worse - re SEN.

I have ds2 in year 4 and dd in the nursery there, plus despite everything he's been through, ds1 loves the place. Most importantly though, ds1 had finally started to make friends and integrate a little socially when we were going through the statementing process. To be honest, I valued that along with his happiness more highly than the academic side of things.

I can't wait until ds1 leaves in July, but have had to retain at least civil relations with the school, as I have another 7 years after this one of dd being there to get through before I can finally be free of them.

I was reluctant to involve PP as well as, being funded by the LA, they always felt like 'the other side', iyswim. In fact we didn't involve them until the school wasn't implementing the statement provision at all and dh had started a new job, so could no longer attend meetings with me. I was pleasantly surprised. I can't say they helped a massive amount, they very much towed the party line and tried not to rock the boat too much, but the rep that came with me 'read' the situation straight away and had seen it hundreds of times before and it did feel like she was on our side - but restricted by red tape and 'rules'.

She did confront the SENCO on a couple of important points, most notably on ds's rights to have access arrangement for SATs, as she sat there and listened to the SENCO bare-faced lying to us - again - that he would have to be tested and she would decide whether or not he would get access arrangements. The PP lady knew her SEN law inside out and immediately confronted the SENCO, told her she was wrong and that due to his statement and test results he was automatically entitled. She also made it clear that the strategy the school was using on not allowing him computer access in class, so that ultimately it wouldn't be considered typical support for him and he wouldn't get it for SATs, was not legal and they had to allow him the access his statement specified.

She was also the first person to tell me I was wasting my time and energy trying to get this school to take their responsibility and legal duty towards ds seriously, as they were obviously never going to change and I would be better placed putting my energies into getting him the best possible placement for secondary. I was appalled at the time and totally disagreed. We carried on fighting for another couple of months, to no avail, until we realised we were just banging our heads against a brick wall, she was right and we just have to cut our losses and carry him through the end of this year. Then we went all out to get him into an extremely good out of area independent mainstream with a specialist interest in ASD and I'm so glad we did, because the place is perfect for him and he now has it named on his statement.

I don't envy you your position. It is a horrible situation to be in and very isolating. Do keep posting, even if it's just to remind yourself that you aren't alone with it all.

Aw thanks moosemama. I am actually going to try my best to not think about it this weekend and only four days til Easter hols, that always helps. It's strange, I always had an uncomfortable feeling about school from the day he started and because I was somewhat in denial in the beginning about his ASD, I put it all down to that. Getting the diagnosis has been greatly helpful, it's cleared my head a lot and I feel like we are back in the driving seat and also that my instincts about them were not wrong. Luckily, the daily dealings with the TAs are lovely and I know the staff don't necessarily agree with the powers that be always.

Happiness is VERY important for our DCs The more content they are the better they thrive and learn :)

DS is only just off level P8 and he is nearly 8 am I worried? not at all because he is doing it at his own pace and has decided himself to take the challenge of writing.

Your DS will do "his thing" in his own time and if I have learnt anything its that the more I push mine the less output I get :)

The fact that he is happy means the staff are doing right by him and that is what matters.

Statement wise it will be good to keep for senior school if not for the academy.

As long as you know what you are dealing with in the awkward HT then thats half the battle and hopefully you can keep one step ahead x