Looking for strategies to help a 3 year old to socialise properly?

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

I was advised to begin a new thread after my other one here

short story...I'm looking after cousins DS who is 3.2. I suspect he has some kind of spectrum disorder...he's virtually completely echolalic and is approaching other children in a way which sees him constantly rebuffed.

He's basically thrusting his face at theirs and he also puts his hands in their hair and twiddles his fingers very quickly....he's also got a habit of babbling at them but as they don't understand what he's saying they just move away...this is in toddler groups and also when I take him to my Mum's to play with his cousins.

He's physically large and other kids get intimidated by his keen-ness.....he smiles at them though and obviously wants to interact.

How can I help him when at the moment he's not at preschool or anything...I want to help him prepare a bit as I am almost looking after him fulltime.

I'm not getting paid and wouldn't want payment...so this is not a proffessional problem at all.

This is really tricky but in order for him to make progress socially he cant keep putting his hands in other childrens hair.

If I were you I would try saying and signing "stop" (the sign is just a flat palm of your hand like a policeman stopping traffic).
Stop is easier to understand than no.
Carry in your pocket something that he likes and distract him with it, so hands out of the hair =favourite toy. Maybe you could try a koosh ball or a stress ball or something with texture that he could feel instead of someones hair.

It wont work overnight but it sounds like you are in for the long haul.
I am sure others will be along soon with more ideas.

Oh good idea! I feel better already just to have an idea of what to do...I was saying "No...be gentle" because other people seemed to expect it...but I know he can't really understand the phrase at all...so I was intervening physically all the time.

Shall I say his name? "X stop." or just stop?

Yes, sorry you should always say his name first

See you know stuff already

A small doll, pocket sized, with hair that feels like real hair. It was the only way I got my 9yo DS2 to stop doing this. It's distracting the stim to a more socially acceptable version of it...

I just got mine from a cheap local toy shop. Every time he responded to the 'wait' sign (I do a single finger for wait, rather than stop), he got given the doll so that he could twiddle the hair on it for a bit.

Getting him to stop licking random strangers' jumpers was harder, mind you, and he only stopped licking mine 6 months ago...

Doll...right. I will look one out for him. Your DS liked hair too Merry?