Cant take anymore of this help !!!

[RDismyoneandonly]

Long time lurker first time poster

Ds4 slept for about 2 hours last night & spent the rest of the time moaning it was dark
Still sent him to nursery as he is not ill & wasn't tired
still bloody isn't .
I ended up picking him up from school instead of Dp as I had finished work early & he had a complete melt down because his dad didnt pick him up Meltdown consisted of Ds swearing like a navvy while kicking & screaming in front of all the teachers & headteacher & I could not calm him down so I kinda ended up sat on the floor in the middle of the cloakroom with my head in my hands , eventually his teacher managed to calm him down than god .
I just feel so useless I couldn't even calm my own Ds down
Ds4 has suspected AS but I know the pediatrician doesn't believe a word I say because I'm so young & he has suddenly stopped doing his Stym so that's yet another reason for them to say he does not have AS or anything similar when it is blatantly obvious he does .
I just don't know what to do as I can't take much more of this , how do I make them see what I can see about my Ds & that its not bad parenting
Sorry for rambling , I don't even know why I'm posting tbh

Hi RD and welcome to the board. Sorry you are having such a hard time

The 2 best bits of advice I was given when I was trying to get Dd3 diagnosed were

1. Treat her as if she does have Asd, use strategies that are known to work with children with Asd and if they work, great. You cant do any harm using the strategies.

1. Keep a diary of any issues/difficulties, what causes them (if you know) and how you deal with them. This will help you to learn what triggers stress in your Ds and will also show proffs what you are having to deal with on a day to day basis.

Try to be kind to yourself, keep coming on here for support and good luck

Thankfully I have been trying to treat him as though he has AS & in some ways it has been successful & then the other days its like trying to flog a dead horse

I still have days like that with Dd3, sometimes it can be due to tiredness, being at school/nursery can be exhausting if you are struggling to fit in.

Does your Ds have sensory issues? They can have alot to answer for as can stress levels.

I'm not sure tbh if he has sensory needs , though he is a bit like a moth when it comes to lights

Young mum discrimination syndrome. Lots of staff suffer from it .

The best treatment is finding a competent professional who's immune, and getting them to report their findings directly to the afflicted colleagues.

Immunity is mainly in ex-young mums (luckily there are a lot of them working in the nhs, social services etc) though there are also some wise near-retirement types. In general, avoid struggling 30-somethings who are failing to juggle home and work themselves, despite having a partner, salary and 'normal' dc.

Thanks Mareeya