All I want is for the teacher two write 4 words on a post-it each day....

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Several weeks of negotiations, 2 long meetings, several emails.......

Not sure hat to say as my lovely school has told me the same.

So now the current compromise is that i am doing the writing for the time being so they can get a better idea of what is needed....

I gather you haven't been able to move forward since the last meeting.

school. Actually he has around 3 teachers in a day. And I am requesting it of all of them.

But yeah - I want them to be their credit card pin numbers........

nope!

Sorry notme

I'll even send in the blimming post-it notes.

I'll laminate a few words for them to stick on them.

I'll invent a whole other coded language so they just have to cough on the paper.

Whatever. I'll do it. Just tell me what I have to do to get the information?..

'So now the current compromise is that i am doing the writing for the time being so they can get a better idea of what is needed....'

So you've got a chance at least?

I had this at ds' last school. I wanted one word - red, yellow or green- to be written in his home/school/ joke book. Apparently impossible. Our compromise was I had to go back into school at the end of every day with ds and dd to read the red card board to see if ds was on it or not. Did this for two weeks then she started clearing the board for the next day during the two mins it took for me to walk from the exit to the entrance. Fucking joke.
I decided then that I was not going to do any punishments or rewards to do with what had happened at school each day.

That's the thing isn't it. You eventually give up trying to support the school and they probably sigh in relief.

I swear on ds' last day the class teacher and head teacher must have danced with joy.

Yep.
The school has told me already (after ONE meeting) they have no idea how to best support him....
But they can't put in writing some of the things they tell them to do orally because there is too much.
And yes they do realize it's causing stress and anxiety to ds but as he doesn't seem to be anxious at school, they can't do anything about it....

Because him freezing up and not talking to his teacher because it was about something 'unusual', they haven't seen it . Never caused a problem at all .

I would like to give you some ideas but unfortunately I don't have any yet. The door is very slightly ajar for us but I can see how I will be in a similar situation than you in a month or so.

The thing is. When you ask for the same little thing a number of times, it looks like you are always asking for things, and then the implementation FEELS like hard work.

:(

Maybe try fill in the blanks? Cross out relevant/irrelevant word?

We are still stuck on the same style of questions despite testing level of questions they should aim at. Also we(the) do not ever look back and track where the errors are and refine the style of questioning. I occasionally email them with 'helpful suggestions' which to their credit, they try to implement.

Thinking back, I think I settled for 1 question of a certain type and then slowly increase my request. Would that work?

We're not even on questions any more. We are on reporting one positive thing. I can turn that into a question myself though if it's appropriate.

Maybe not so flippant, trying

My DS's SS used to spend ages filling in daily home/school books for each DC which pretty much said the same thing for each DC. They changed to a 'cloze' type sheet with all the various activities in boxes, they ringed the relevant boxes for the day, eg dressing up/ sand pit/ threading etc then had a small section to put in a personal comment specific to your DC. We ended up getting more specific information about our DC than before and it took them 1/2 the time.

I don't know what info you need to have written, whether it's aimed at you or at your DS, but would something like that work, Star?

I'm not sure Ellen. It might work but that woukd mean me coming up with the sheet which I'd do if I didn't suspect it woukd be met with a 'what now?' Kind of reaction.

I'm a bit exhausted by it all tbh. I keep coming up with suggestions and it keeps being met with no. The HT is going to call me.

Perhaps you could have a 'back of an envelope' type example that you could persuade them would be no trouble, offer to design one for them, diffidently. They might take the hump but they might take it on as an idea they could design?

I already handed the a DTP example. Said it looked good but they'll make up a book themselves. Then they just put a couple of extra lines in the homeschool book and carried on exactly as before

This is about finding things to reward ds for, yes?

What about if you gave them say three specific things to look out for that ds does or says (targets which you're currently working on), give them a sheet with the three things on and a tick/cross box next to each one. Just ask them to tick against any which they have seen ds do or say.

Eg "I am looking for ds to:

1. ask another child if he can join in

1. play with another child for 5 minutes

1. sit on carpet for 10 minutes"

(or whatever)

If ds does any of these please tick here --->"

They say they've already got their behaviour plan.

It's more to make school a positive experience by having the teachers praise him, but reinforcing his desire for praise by them by 'sharing it with mum'. Otherwise he couldn't care less what they think. They can use this to target whatever behaviours are annoying them that day tbh.

I know it works coz Ds has gone from ring very disruptive in tennis and swimming to needing no more support than any other nt child just using this system.

Bialy, they woukd NEVER do that. They is the Communication experts.

However, Ds isn't accessing much of the learning because he isn't engaged.

Any suggestion of reinforcement or specific targets is met with 'taint an ABA school'

I'm painting a bad picture of what actually is an excellent school.

I'm just frustrated.

So you're basically just asking them to tell you a couple of good things he's done that day so you can praise him for it at home?

Blimey. Really shouldn't be outside their remit should it

What's the ratio of staff:child? Is there a 'key worker' who spends more time with ds than others?

I feel for you... 4 words isn't a lot to ask for

I think dinkys ct has given up. Today I got (up arrow) + (down arrow) so much for contact book!

It really should not be this hard