My 8 year old DD has bittern herself, and said she hates herself and wants to die!

[mummyloveslucy]

Many of you will know of Lucy, but for those who don't. She has severe SEN's and has recently joined main stream school, after being home educated.
She is a kind, loving little girl who is very popular with the other children. The do tend to fight over her, which causes tears, as she wants to please everyone. She loves school and has never said she doesn't want to go.

There was a boy who about a month ago, told her she was too big to be in year 2. (She is actually being taught in the year below her age, due to SEN's). She is very tall for her age and slightly over weight, despite eating healthily. This really upset her and she said she didn't want to grow any more, or turn 8. She has recently had her 8th birthday, and her behaviour has changed. She gets very jelous, if we make a fuss of any other child in the family, or even a strangers baby. She says "You don't love me any more".

She knows we'd like another baby and that worries her, as she feels that she's not enough for us, dispite me telling her so many times, this isn't true.

The other night, she came into our room, saying she'd bittern her arm. It looked a bit pink, so I asked why and she said "I hate myself!" I asked her why and she said "I'm too big and fat, I have funny teeth and I'm bonkers". I told her that she wasn't fat, her teeth were beautiful (she has a gap) and all the beast people are bonkers, look at mummy and daddy! She smiled at this.
She said I still want to die though. I want to hit my head against a wall and let all the stuff come out, then I'll die. I don't know where she's got this from. She only ever watches Cbeebies and U certificate films, and has a very close caring family that dote on her!

I'm going to tell the school tomorrow, but do you have any advice or things I could try with her? She is the most beautiful, gentle, happy little sole you could ever meet, and we tell her every day how proud we are of her. This was a total shock.

I don't really have any advice as I think the things you are telling her are the right ones.
Maybe there is more going on at school than you are aware of?
It is very hard to hear this so ((hugs) )) if they help.

Thank you. I think you could be right, re school. Her personal assistant has said before that she'd said someone had upset her, but couldn't really get to the bottom of it. She does struggle to explain things like this, then usually thinks about it before bed.

Poor dd and poor you, I would go into school too at least then they can keep an eye on her. My dd bites herself too,generally after she has hurt her baby sister or if she wants to as a way of stopping herself. We are seeing a psychologist at the hospital to help us through it all, her advice was to stay very calm about it, saying ooh dear no you will hurt yourself when she starts to do it but I realise the situation is different ( my dd will do it when having time out or being removed from the baby)

Hope school are helpful tomorrow then.

She's also recently started soiling herself again. I don't know if it's linked. She's had it under control for about 3 months now, with the help of Dolcolax supositories, daily.

Thank you both.