dyspraxia support - anyone else out there with dcs who have dyspraxia

[willowsun]

my dd is 7.5 years old
she was diagnosed with developmental dyspraxia at age 5 years old
it is hard work

she ;-

has alot of tantrums
very demanding
has messy writing
finds it hard to concentrate
like a whirlwind
never sits still
fiddles with everything
hates getting dressed, having hair brushed and teeth

it is mainly her tantrums and demanding things that are the main problems !!
she feels like 3 children rolled into one affects everyone
she is quite abit worse when she is tired and doesnt help herself by going to bed late

Hi my son has dyspraxia and at present is being assessed for aspergers. He is 13 diagnosed at 5.

Yes it's hard work. The thing I find most challenging is trying to assess every possible situation before it happens. My son has bad sensory problems and can't go to busy places including malls, cinema, swimming. I have to judge every new situation it's exhausting.

He also fidgets a lot but he doesn't throw tantrums, he is more inclined to go in on himself, shuts down , can't speak or react its heartbreaking.

Wow good that sounds very tough!!

We are wondering if dd also has adhd
She makes silly noises alot and has recently started playing up at school!
If told off laughs is silly alot at school distracting the others!
Is now on report
We have most problems with tantrums mostly if she wants something and cant have or if she doesnt want to do something

I think kids with dyspraxia are often frustrated and this is where the tantrums come from, have you had you dd tested for sensory issues.

My son when in a busy place or even just an overly noisy place can't separate the noise, so he can't hear what people or saying, everything around him becomes one loud muddled noise. This is frustrating because if someone is trying to say something to him he can't decipher what they are saying from noise around him.

If I need to speak to my son about something serious, and know that he has got it, I need to do it in a quiet room. In school the teacher has to speak to the class and then speak directly to my son so he gets it.

Another reason your dd may be having tantrums. My son cannot take in or follow more than 1 or 2 short instructions at a time. For example if I give my son a job with say 4 instructions, he will get 1 forget 2 and 3, get 4. This means what I have said is muddled or patchy which will either be confusing or lead him to do it wrong which in turn leads to frustration.

Children with dyspraxia are not just bad at motor skill etc which is commonly believed they also have issues processing information.

The tantrums could be that she doesn't understand why she can't have something or do something.

Try explains it to her in short sharp sentences rather than conversation.

I also found it difficult to say what was dyspraxia and what was just bad behaviour. Would like to say I solved this but no the teenage years are here. I also try to remember that my son is not just dyspraxic but is a child too and children do through tantrums, have personality traits etc etc

Flyingboy used to tantrum for England. I lived my life on tenterhooks.

She might have auditory processing problems and salt probs too. He has visual perception probs and Iwish ihad seen a behavioual optometrist sooner.

DS aged 7 is dyspraxic. I am finding it really hard right now. I have been home educating him as he is v bright but school wouldn't give him 1 to 1 with his writing and were not giving him challenging work in the areas he is good at so he was behaving v badly. He goes to 2 extra curricular groups for French and listening. this week he has been in trouble at both for not listening/refusing to write (a small amount). He is strong-willed/bright/defiant and has the worst listening skills in the world (but perfect hearing). He also has poor social skills and can be tactless/rude to others. I feel really miserable right now and am convinced that I am judged by others as a crap mother. :(

Has anyone any advice for improving a child's listening skills?

Goodtalkingtoo - I agree about never knowing what is bad behaviour and what is dyspraxia. Really hard to tell.

Yes ds has dyspraxia and also aspergers, dyspraxia was diagnosed when he was 5, he has very bad co-ordination, can't cycle, use a scooter, swim properly at all, he also can't follow more than one instruction at a time.

He does get extremely frustrated but this usually manifests itself as tears. He has huge sensory issues also which can be a nightmare, hates the shower, haircuts, certain clothes etc.

He likes routine and doesn't cope great if things don't go to plan.

I think the more you get used to the diagnosis you will find yourself coping much better, you get very adept at assessing situations, using social stories are also very good at helping kids to understand certain situations. Also using specially designed pencils can help with her writing. I'll come back on later if I can and see what else might help.

I find it difficult as people often think that dyspraxia is a lack of motor skill which is bad enough don't get me wrong but not many people realise it also includes emotional, sensory, language difficulties and the rest.

My sons dyspraxia effects every part of our lives.

Totally agree that the lack of understanding about dyspraxia is a nightmare. This is only surpassed by those that believe they know all about dyspraxia and it's only the motor aspects
I have 1 DS dx before he was 4 (early!) and I have DS3 who is being assessed for same next week.
As you can imagine - a 10 year old and a 5 year old getting ready for school in the morning is a nightmare. Thankfully DS2 follows instructions!

My eldest DS was dx aged 9. He is now 14 and been dx with Aspergers too. There is very little support and understanding about dyspraxia. School did get DS an IT assessment and he was allocated a laptop for school but that was really it. Though of course this was very useful as DS can now touch type.

Before DS was dx with Aspergers the school wouldn't give much time to the sensory, emotional and social difficulties that are all part of dyspraxia too. Even took in info from the dyspraxia foundation but they didn't really get it.

Maybe try some fidget toys and wobble cushion? May help your DD concentrate a little more.

glad so many replies thought it would be good to support each other

Agree it is hard to tell the difference between normal behaviour and what is the dyspraxia
Also agree that there isnt much support!
Felt like doctor gave us the diagnosis then u r just left with it to deal with on ur own
Find dds mood swings the worst they are worse as she finds it hard to get to sleep so often doesnt turn light and go to sleep till 8:30
If she wants something u have to really distract her
She does luv soft textures like blankets and teddys

My son doesn't sleep either, he is up till the early hours of the morning, he wanders and fidgets, when he does sleep he has night terrors and sleepwalks

Auntevil that must be hard
I also have dd2 who is 4 years old
She is complete opposite of dd1
She is very loving, cuddly, as good as gold
Does as she is told
She does have to put up with alot from dd1 who is bossy with her, argumentitve etc
Dd1 doesnt like going to bed finds it hard to switch her brain off!
She comes up and down alot
What we have found really helps is two pillows and a heavy blanket ontop helps her feel safe!!
Dd was whingy as a baby, has always been a very fussy eater

On the plus side for DS3s appointment, school are going to list their concerns for the OT so I can take it with me. We all know how as parents we can be dismissed as totally paranoid. A letter from school will add weight to my opinions.
I must admit that DS1 was spotted by the HV at his 2 year check and referred. DS3 I have to confess, thought he was copying his brothers behaviours as they are as thick as thieves! It wasn't until he spent time on his own in reception that everyone really noticed that it was all his own self! It has taken nearly a year for the appointment to come through. It's an OT that I don't know so fingers crossed!

DS is 8 and was diagnosed with dyspraxia a year ago. We went through a multi-disciplinary assessment as he had terrible behaviour at school. He was diagnosed with Sensory issues ( sensory seeking) and fine motor dyspraxia.
We have worked really hard to get the sensory issues under control and this has helped hugely, in every aspect of his life , from learning to just general behaviour.
He is doing well at school at the moment, but is academically behind his peers - though is making great progress at catching up.
We are holding our breath at the moment as we are having a discussion with school about whether he stays we he is next year. He is at a private school and the have been hugely supportive, but whether they are happy to gamble on him is the big question.
He is doing a typing course over Easter ..... I want him to be using a laptop next year.
I think the thing for us is the on-going stress of his education. He is not bad enough for a statement, but will really struggle in a class of 30.....
Also the financial strain - we are in the situation where we can afford for private oT , typing courses etc .... Well we can sort of afford it, it really does strain us financially - but we see huge benefit..... And who needs to save for there retirement......

My son was diagnosed with severe dyspraxia at 8 years 11 months old. It came as a big surprise. He is a behaviourally unchallenged child, very well behaved. In fact all his issues have gone unnoticed and underestimated at school due to his passive and quiet nature. He has also been diagnosed with ASD. His visual perception score was 12 years 10 months old. And he has further 3 confirmed diagnosis.

My ds 7 has dyspraxia (diagnosed 1 year ago). He is often very tired and this can effect his moods (as can noise and being hungry). Someone suggested omega 3 supplements which, in his case, have really helped.

He can be overly emotionally but is generally very well behaved. He really struggles at school. He's bright but also dyslexic and the literacy based curriculum and large classes cause him a great deal of stress.

I really feel for him as he has to try so much harder to do things, swimming, riding a bike etc.

He has a great NHS OT who has given him lots of support as has his school, but he really needs more.

I agree with you amumtothree - DS1 and 3 are both bright - and generally well behaved (they both save it for home) but find that the curriculum and large classes (in London) a real issue. DS1 is also dyslexic, but then I think about 75% of DCs dx with dyspraxia have some form of dyslexia.
I also agree that the NHS OT have been a godsend. They are the only dept (poss physio, but they have only just got involved!) that have been a constant over the last 6 years or so.

dd1 is also very bright, she excels at reading her reading age is two years ahead!
auntevil - do you mean that they save up there bad behaviour for home?! - i read somewhere that they explode at home as they feel safe to do so.
my dd1 is worse at home. she used to be fine at school but just lately is misbehaving at school.
she is acting silly and distracting the other children - i guess as she finds it so hard to concentrate - if the teacher sits with her her handwriting is really good they are always on her back - dd1 do this, do this
she is on a report gets tokens if she behaves
they were trying smiley, straight and sad faces she wasnt responding - the main problems seem to be the noise in the classroom and the children distracting her too much
the teachers arent sure what else they can do to help with her dyspraxia
i feel that the support is lacking
problems explained with dd see if anyone relates -

sleep - goes to bed later thatn she should
comes downstairs to see us alot
can't sleep if she can hear rain, wind or other noise
has to have certain conditions in order to sleep - particular teddies, blanket ontop of duvet and two pillows, side light on and landing light on

food- is very fussy - wont eat lumpy food, sauces - only eats -
breaded chicken no other meat, savoury eggs takes out the egg,crisps,plain pasta with nothing on, petit filou, marmite sandwiches

behaviour - luvs routine, disruptive like a whirlwind, doesnt sit still, fiddles with everything, has a loud voice, talks alot very quickly, sometimes hits when cross, has tantrums when cant have what she wants

writing - very messy, finds it a struggle to write seems awkward and doesnt enjoy it

everyday chores - hates doing teeth, having hair brushed, getting dressed, no haste

sorry :( what an essay
great to talk to others in the same situation

Oh yes. We get behaviour and a half at home.
But I suppose it isn't really that surprising. If you have to try harder than average to do everything, from walking, lining up, following instructions, learning new things etc then they must be shattered. Who can honestly say they are at their best when they're shattered?
Willow sun , I have the 2extremes in my house. DS1 is what they call a super taster. He can tell ingredients however small in content and loves spicy food. Eats everything and plenty of it. A true joy to feed, a sensory seeker.
DS3. Struggles to swallow, has issues with texture, gags, smells food before deciding if it's OK. Eats small amounts. sensory adverse.
Go figure!

wow aunt evil thats sounds like hard work
it is amazing how they can be so different !!

I think my nephew may have dyspraxia and I'm not sure how to help, he is nearly six, and has the following indicators:

• speech is still very hard to understand
• goes down steps one at a time
• cant get down from a car without assistance
• holds his pen with a closed fist
• has lots of melt downs and gets very distraught over minor things
• struggles to get himself dressed.

He is not in the uk and hasn't started formal school yet, his parents just say he is a late developer - which of course may be true, but I can't help feeling there is more to it. What do you think?! I won't say anything until or if I'm asked, but I can't help but be worried.

How is your relationship with them? If I was in your situation I would be worried too......
The reason I ask about relationship is that the sooner you dn gets help the better..... He doesn't need a formal diagnosis, but just the things you describe - holding a pencil, difficult to understand are all things that can helped...... He may well just be "a late developer" BUT these are all things that will hold him back at school , and also make him feel "different" an inadequate an effect his self esteem - and you can't put a value on self esteem.