My friend is a single mum to two children, and my two have played with hers since each child was born - they range from 6 to just tuned 3 and are nearer to cousins than just friends.
Her eldest DD is being assessed for ADHD, and is a proper handful. She is a lovely and bright little girl, but just never stops and I think my friend is finding it hard. My eldest is unusually quiet for her age, so I can't really take her as a benchmark, but my friends DD is nearer in behaviour to my 3yo, but with the size nd intelligence of an older child. Tantrums and, well, not mischief, but generally messing with stuff, climbing, fidgeting etc. My friend is finding it difficult that she still needs stairgates etc despite her daughter now being in year one.
My DD1 is showing a lot of aspergers style traits, but somehow they seem to work as a group alongside the little ones. I would love to help my friend, but the things I do to help DD1 with her way of seeing the world don't seem to work with my friends DD - eg mine needs leaving alone in a quiet room to calm down if she gets overwhelmed bu my friends DD needs constant activity. My DD gets stressed if the TV is on while something else is happening, but my friends DD likes the extra stimulation. My DD gets upset with rule breaking (and even tells me off for grammatical errors) but my friends DD can only ope with very basic rules that get repeated. Both girls are really clever so that can make things more complex too.
So...how can I help?