Feeling lost - school seem to be suggesting ASD

[soimpressed]

Last parents eve the teacher said my D,S who is 8, had lots of autistic traits. This time the whole meeting was about his literal use of language, poor social skills, difficulty responding appropriately to situations and need for routine.

In Reception his teacher asked me to refer him to OT because of poor motor skills, poor social skills and poor behaviour. She also started him on an intervention to improve motor skills. It was a year before he was seen by the OT and his class teacher at that time was very unforthcoming about any difficulties he was experiencing. The OT didn't really find too much of concern - he is slightly hypermobile and lacks awareness of his body in space. He sent a report and suggested that he might need to be seen by CAHMS to help with the other issues. I'm not sure the teacher even bothered to read the report.

Over the past few months DS seems to have stepped up a level. He is stimming much more, driving me nuts with his pedantic attitude to language and finding some situations just too overwhelming to cope with. We have just had such a miserable mothers' day that I had to ask my own mum to come over so that I could remain calm enough to cope with him.

The teacher this year is much better and has started him on an intervention once a week to help with social skills but the school in general seems a bit crap when it comes to SEN. I just don't know if I should push for more. Would it help if he had a diagnosis? Part of me just wants to bury my head in the sand. I also feel utterly sad for him and wonder what the future holds.

soimpressed hello and welcome, so sorry you have hit a low point. Sounds as though there is a long history of concerns from school. Is there a chance you could go to your SENCO, get them to collaborate and compile evidence for a referral to developmental Paeds? Of course, nobody will be able to tell you what the future holds, which is why his difficulties ought to be formally recognized with a diagnosis, so that you will have leverage on the road ahead. You will find a wealth of experience here. Is there a dedicated SENCO at your ds's school?

Thanks Handywoman the SENCO is the teacher who taught him in Year 1 and 2. The Head sat in on parents' eve so maybe she would be the one to approach.

You cant predict the future, no one can :)

But what is in your sons favour is that you are looking out for his best interests and that bodes well for him :)

A diagnosis was to us as my DH called it a golden ticket. We waved that ticket when it was needed to open doors for support.

Support is rarely immediate though with or with a dx its just an extra battering ram to battle for it.

Senior school is a whole new kettle of fish for children with autism. It can be very hard due to school size and peer pressure, the expectation of being independent and thinking for yourself, being organised etc.

It would be a good idea if you were going to start some sort of assessment to start now once you feel comfortable with it as the process can take a very long time.

Agree with poltergoose about the GP request for dev pead and keeping a diary. I had one for school and one for home. It gave professionals an insight into DS they would not have had due to an obstructive school.

Meant to add good luck and dont forget there is always someone here to hold your hand when needed :)

Thanks for all your kind posts. I'm going to follow your suggestions.