AIBU to be a bit cross about lack of empathy - Long (sorry)

[soverytiredofthis]

Saw DS and DBIL today at mum's as I was saying bye to her.
DBIL asks where DH and DD are and I say at MIL's. BIL makes comment that 'so DH Mum has DD and you brought your puppy to your mums?'

I thought he was being sarcastic as he has the tendency to do this. So I replied that as she was having a meltdown this morning (as usual) I was fine with this.

BIL replied - well I have had kids. DS then also says that my DH had told her that we had not had a nights sleep in 4 years and she had told him she had not had 1 full night in 9 years.

DS and BIL have 3 NT children - all planned and no health or otherwise problems. Our DD has complex medical, physical and emotional problems. Last year she was going to be put on life support on 3 separate occasions as they could not stop her seizures. Both DS and BIL know this.!

I was a bit miffed at the lack of empathy and it being mothers day at my mums I just picked up puppy said my goodbyes and left.

Am I wrong to be pissed off with their attitude and that having a child that needs to be continually monitored 24/7 is exhausting and not quite the same as 3 NT children ??!

I am lost for words how could anyone be so nasty. They have no idea (if it was me (I am a big wuss) I would be howling in a corner.
Arn't they "lucky" to have 3 NT children. He does not know what is round corner. DS fine untio 8 months then meningitis struck his life now ruined CP, deafblind epilepsy.
Ignore him
xx

Some people are just stupid. I get this from my family where my sister's parenting is seen as what makes her life with her NT son easy 'because they are laid back and relaxed' while its our uptightness that makes us so exhausted . I could be laidback too if my DD (severe GDD) could cope with flexible meal and bedtimes. She cant, but they dont want to know. I avoid them whenever possible.

thanks for the responses, sometimes I feel that I am in this alone although DH has suggested we leave DD at their house for a couple of days and see what helpful feedback they can give us! :)

Honestly I don't understand sometimes why people cannot see how hard it can be, I guess its has something to do with walking a mile in someone shoes!