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How  would you want the school to tell you your dc may have additional needs?

32 replies

Ducklings45 · 09/03/2013 23:00

How would best like it approached if your child's teacher needed to tell you she thought you child might have additional learning needs?

All advice welcome, need to have a conversation with some parents next week and not sure how to tell them! I've tried broaching it before and they brushed it off as nothing.

OP posts:
MrsMushroom · 10/03/2013 13:37

Yes...that's a good point.

Ducklings45 · 10/03/2013 13:37

I have done but she has a lot on her plate and there wasnt much advice or support.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 10/03/2013 13:55

Mentor then?
Although, that is actually the SENCo's job, so you should be getting support from her.

goinggetstough · 10/03/2013 14:03

In addition to all the above information can I suggest that you don't schedule the meeting for a Friday afternoon (unless of course it is the only possible time for the parents). There is nothing worse than attending a meeting with your DC's teacher who tells you something like this and then when you get home you think of all the questions that you wished you asked.... but now can't do so until Monday. I was a nervous wreck by the end of that weekend!

BeeMom · 10/03/2013 14:26

How well do you know the parents? For example, what are their fields of work? You say they have dismissed concerns in the past - did they say why they felt that your observations did not match their own?

I ask this because I was a caregiver for some time with a boy with classic autism. Mum was a professor at the university, dad an elementary teacher. The only language he had was entirely echolalia, not scripted, but immediate and repetitive direct echoing. He was not toilet trained (or even close) by the time he was 5, had very restrictive interests, multiple sensory behaviours and encompassing obsessions. His parents could not see (and were not able to see) any of it.

I spoon fed it to them - finally, after over a year of discussion, they had him assessed - and were surprised to hear he had autism. Sometimes, the "it can't happen to us" is very pervasive. Sadly, because of the delay in accessing diagnosis and treatment, he has really struggled over the years.

With that said, perhaps if you don't have concrete examples, it might be advantageous to wait, and document your concerns in a more quantifiable way. With that information, the parents might be more receptive.

On the other hand, perhaps the parents are dismissive because they are legitimately not seeing what you are. For example, my DS was selectively mute at school for years, but a chatterbox at home. If someone told me he never spoke, I would have brushed them off, because to me, it would have seemed bollocks. As a teen, I never spoke at home, but with the right group of friends I was an eloquent speaker.

If this child is an anxious child, perhaps the things you are seeing are school anxiety, and not developmental in nature at all...

Just my rambling contribution...

OhYeaBaby · 10/03/2013 14:31

one last thought - (triggered by you saying you are new just now) - have you touched base with SENCo about approach to take? - where I work if I was about to talk to a client about something I hadn't dealt with in detail before - and there was a designated expert on that topic, I'd make sure I mentioned it to the expert before having a conversation with the client - she might have some advice about how to handle the situation - and is likely to know more about the child and its parents than we do

auntevil · 10/03/2013 20:59

You also have to face facts that in some instances parents will not take up advice and it will be left to you to put in place interventions within school - letting the parents know what you are doing and why.

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