"Why does he keep shouting?" and other stupid comments ... from DH!

[Trigglesx]

Seriously. FFS.

DS2 was dx'd 2 years ago, but we've known he has SNs for a year longer than that. So how is it that DH is STILL bitching and complaining that DS2 shouts out sometimes (not aimed at anyone in particular - just verbal outbursts) when upset or stressed or happy (or anytime)? That he still complains that DS2 is all over the place physically? Asks questions over and over and talks constantly?

Seriously.

Must go check the cabinet and see if DH has been taking "stupid" pills or something. grrrrrr

Yes stupid pills are addictive - I'm convinced there is some dealer knocking around selling them at a discount.
When dh does this I've adopted this approach - it helps to highlight his stupidity sometimes
Dh- why does ds do that - why can't he xxxx?
Me - I don't know dh.... Why do you think?
Dh - errr well what do think
Me - I think I'm not The Oracle - but would like to hear your ideas
Dh - gives ideas
Me - okay, and what do you think you could do to help ds with that?

The last question usually stumps him - but he's learning not to ask such annoying questions....
Try not to shut him in that cupboard eh?

My Dh is the same, he rarely comes oout with us as a family but when he does he seems shocked when dd2 stims (humms, screaches, shouts) and has no idea how to handle it, will ask 'why is she doing that?'. I guess we see it every day as we spend more time with them, i dont really notice when dd2 does these things anymore as its just dd2 and seems normal to me .

Maybe you could get him a leaflet and just show it to him whenever he asks.

This would really annoy me tbh.

frizzcat just about snorted out my drink through my nose when I read your comment "try not to shut him in that cupboard eh?" oh the temptation!!

Marne if DH was not around DS2 daily, then yes, I could understand it. But he has been off work for months due to illness and therefore has been around DS2 loads.

YellowAGARAB I'd do that if DH wouldn't then get stroppy. It really DOES annoy me tbh. Unbelievably annoys me. Makes me stabby tbh. Good thing I'm crocheting instead of knitting, eh?

My partner and I went on the Maudsley course for parents of children diagnosed with ASD. All the stuff I'd been trying to explain for ages was suddenly absorbed. It needed a third party to tell / explain things. Life has improved very much since. Also found various DVDs helpful.

Glad I made you I regularly feel like shutting dh in a cupboard or just randomly throwing things at his head - that's marriage isn't it?

ds's dad could not undestand why ds waanted to watch his progamme again.

ermm that would be aa combination of asd and being 4.

Does anyone remember that program that used to be on in the summer hols with Timmy Mallet (no! Don't run away). Anyway he used to have that game "Mallets mallet" ...... Basically if kids got questions wrong he hit them on the head with a massive stuffed completely soft mallet - that's what we need

I think from my DH's pov it's because he feels helpless. He wants to fix DS4 but he can't. It's their own little outburst of frustration.

Sally - and I get that, but as I've told DH time and time again... does shouting at him REALLY solve it? or help the situation? No. Because then DS2 gets hysterical. So from a common sense pov, why shout when it only makes things worse?

Because men are stupid, and women are all knowing and all seeing.

If he shouts and it does upset ds2, the I would probably start to have a major issue with it, because that is bullying, surely? He needs to stop.