Don't shout at me Moondog - TA post

[inappropriatelyemployed]

I know - I post all the time about TA problems. Sorry Moondog but I need help in managing this once and for all.

The fact is DS is at a nice school with a nice SENCO, nice teachers and helpful head (not with us for much longer).

But the delivery of provision and DS's relationship with school falls down because of the TA.

He didn't want to go into class after half term. He didn't want to see the other children. He has been doing really well but when he does well, it seems to be an invite to the TA to do bugger all so she leaves him to it and the framework of stuff he needs to support him gets withdrawn.

Then , when he then stresses out, her attitude is 'what's his problem, he's done this before'.

I have got him back into class over the last few days; basically TA'ing him myself in the mornings. While there, I can see loads of flashpoints where she jumps in and is too critical or criticizes unnecessarily or tries to change agreements or questions things that have been agreed in front of him. I can also see that he gets stressed in lessons and that he talks to himself quite loudly. Very different from the picture presented by TA.

I have now got him in class, facing the rest of the class and he was asking questions today. He says he will go in alone tomorrow. This would never have happened if left to the TA as we have tried this before and he ends up in conflict with her or outside the class with no strategy to get him back in.

Our SLT was in today and she said - TA just doesn't get it and she probably never will because she is clearly not interested. The SLT has been involved for two years with DS but since January with TA. SLT says TA perceives everything as 'naughtiness', for example, TA said she gives DS 'looks' to tell him to be quiet and he sees them, stares back and carries on. SLT asked was she sure he understood her 'looks' She questioned DS on this later and he hadn't a clue.

It's just basic straightforward stuff. I have raised it with the head and he is going to try and get a move for her in autumn term when they need someone elsewhere in school (it is a very small school with no TAs save for assigned TAs) but he can't guarantee it because he is going.

Senco has said she will pass on things about creating a more positive environment and she does and indeed I tell the TA myself.

But nothing can change her attitude which is to treat him like a naughty child and then be surprised at the reaction.

What would you do?

Oh and TA is down to come to AR meeting which I was a bit surprised at. That makes honest conversation difficult.

IA, don't you shout at me either but I've been thinking about your situation a lot and what strikes me is that the provision is crap because you see it as you have a nice school that let's you.

The rest of the world live in ignorant land, knowing things aren't ideal but never truly understanding HOW bad things probably are.

This isn't a solution, sorry. And I'm not telling you to reduce your expectations either, but just see your situation in perhaps this context.

She sounds like a childminder the ds's once had.
We drive past her sometimes on the way back from school and say,'look its the childminder who hates children!'

Can you carry on doing the TAing as you have been doing?

Yes, I think I know what you mean Star. How can it really be a nice school with a nice teacher and a nice head and still fail? Easier for them if you are able to 'blame' the TA. They need to manage this issue properly. In my own work, if someone wasn't performing I would expect to see evidence of this before acting, but once presented with this evidence I couldn't not act, IYSWIM.

I think you need to raise it with the head in writing, before the next meeting, so it can't be brushed under the carpet because the TA is there. Is the SALT willing to say/write down any of her observations? Complaint to governers, is there a policy for poor teaching? You have to stop seeing their 'niceness' and start seeing failure to manage.

Sorry if that's not helpful. I don't mean to inflame, but that's what struck me about this and an earlier post.

Thanks.

I won't shout at anyone. I genuinely want advice on sensible next steps.

Did you mean Star that I should appreciate that I am lucky that I have a nice school or that it can't be a nice school?

I can understand both perspectives actually. I think they just don't know what to do about it. I feel if I had a practical solution/suggestion they may go for it. I know that is not the way it should be but the reality is that is the way it is.

I have been very direct about it and said he needs to work with someone else and no one has argued that it is not a problem. They have adopted strategies like asking her to back off or telling him to check his work with the teacher but her attitude is not helpful and I feel she undermines provision.

I can ask the SLT to spell out what she perceived to be the difficulties. I can ask the head to do something on the basis he is going. I can also suggest to him that I will speak to the chair of governors who is very proactive and supportive and has a child with autism herself. I could ask if she knows about the difficulties and suggest that she be involved in helping resolve them.

I meant that most schools do not allow access or observations by parents, meaning most parents are unaware of quite how shit the provision is for their children and those who suspect are faced with denial.

So that's the baseline iyswim.

I don't think you should be grateful any more than any other parent, simply because you have the knowledge.

But not many schools will have their incompetent management and crap TAs on full view to the service users. So they probably have no idea how to handle the challenge.

Thanks.

I think the problem is they think around the problem rather than meeting it head on. So they think about ways of reducing her role and encouraging him to speak to the teacher but the teacher can't offer him 1:1 support so that never works.

If he is class, his time with the TA is drastically reduced but I think he deserves someone who 'gets' him even if he doesn't need to be with them all day.

With someone who gets him, you can use so many opportunities to support and skill him. She would rather just stand and watch.

Star that is what I thought you meant and I agree. The fact that they have allowed me basically usurp the TA over the last few days means (a) they know there is a problem and (b) they don't know what to do about it

This is why this is tricky. I want to work with school and I want to try and suggest an answer.

Honestly? I think you are trying to be proactive and supportive but you are allowing them to duck the issue. Either you and the school keep covering up a crap TA, or the school deals with it either by re-training, moving or binning. In my old life, there were many, many conversations around 'X is not skilled enough to work on project Y, we will address this in her objectives but in the meantime she can't work on project Y. IMHO, that is where you now are with school.

If you want to suggest an answer, the answer is 'at the moment, TA does not have the skills to deal with DS. Is there someone we can move or is this a matter for your internal processes, but I am not happy with the current situation, I have witnessed it first hand and SALT agrees.'

Perhaps you could suggest that they send the TA on a training course that is specific to your child's needs?

Thanks. I know you are right Wilson. Is it appropriate for the SLT to mention what she has witnessed?

Niceweather - I think that bird has flown. Part of the problem is that we have been there and done that in terms of suggesting training. Hoping that it will all get better if she goes on a course - a very good one. She did that and no difference.

She also has plenty of agencies involved suggesting things. She may even says she is following them but she doesn't.

What concerns me more is her underlying attitude and lack of understanding and she is so confident she is right that she shares these stories about 'naughtiness' with visiting professionals.

I think the best things you can do is write to the head and ask for a change of TA in the Autumn Term. Head says he can't guarantee it but in effect he can by writing back and confirming that this will happen. If he chooses not to do this then I am not so sure that he is as on side as you think. I think you should also be wary of what might happen when head leaves. I speak from experience as at dd school lovely and proactive senco has left and I know that this is and will affect how dd is dealt with in school. I feel for you because I think the TA is certainly crucial to the success of the placement. I have read your posts about this before and I think you are also right that TA won't change her approach. A change of TA is the only way forward. If school won't do this then I think your only choice is to move your ds to another school. I know you don't want to do this because you like head and teacher, but I can't see lots of other options. I also think you should prepare yourself for new head being less helpful or maybe not as actively helpful as this one has been. Dd school I have realised only works for her because TA is good, senco previously was good and head was easy going. Since head has changed and senco has changed and new teacher is not suited to dd I realise that without fab TA school would probably be poor for her.

Thanks. As more programmes are in place, it becomes difficult to ignore the relationship between the two of them. She even said to me that she gets on better with him when they don't spend 1:1 time together.

We have a complicated statement and a school which allows our own SLT in via direct payments and this is DS's third school and he has 18 months left before secondary. I think changing schools has got to be out of the question.

I mean to add - and this might seem a bit silly but she left today and he was alone in the room next door waiting for our meeting to finish and she didn't even bother popping in to say goodbye. Not so much as a happy birthday let alone a happy birthday card.

Is it too much to expect her to give a shit?

Oh dear.
You know nothing will change with her there don't you so why are you wasting your energy, time and money?
People have no understanding of quite how powerful a 1:1 TA is. They hold all the cards. If they are not up to the job, your child will suffer.

But - what do I do?

I can't change schools as I can tell you that I will not find a school as open and decent as this even if the TA is not good. They listen and they make changes and they let me in. I think they just don't know how else to handle this and keep hoping it might go away.

I know that is crap reasoning but they can't sack her. I need to be able to come up with something as DS is settled there.

If it was my kid, she would go or he would go.
You
Will
Not
Change
Her

Stop wasting your time.

I know I will not change. That is a given. She doesn't give a toss. Believe me Moondog I know that. I have moved on from that.

I need to find a way of moving her out of his life as I am not moving him from another school.

I just wondered if anyone had any ideas about making practical suggestions to the school for achieving this by moving her sideways or letting someone else help or something

There might be no new ideas but I thought it was worth asking.

Just a thought - if you spoke openly to her about your concerns, she may just get the hump and ask to be moved herself?

Feel free to ignore

I won't ignore Icecakeandflower and I think that is a good point and something I have thought of.

SLT said she had a 'face like thunder' when she arrived today and was quite bad tempered with her. But I had been in school up until lunchtime helping DS.

I had managed to get him through the morning and when I left and I said goodbye and commented that DS was making good progress.

She responded 'I thought you were going at 10'. Annoying thing about that, apart from the rude disinterest, was I had spent 10 minutes with her this morning running through what I was going to do with DS and how long I would be there

I actually think she'll continue to get pissed off with professionals coming in and setting up programmes and making her do stuff. It is amazing how much proactive independent therapists are about this stuff.

I thought may a nice class TA position somewhere might look cushty but she was able to explain her move from teaching to TA by saying she was interested in SN, not sure another move would be so easy.

It is quite clear she prefers 'normal' kids.

Can TAs only leave at certain times like teachers?

It depends on their contract. Some finish when school finishes.