Do I tell my 10yrs DS he has HF AS

[notnowpaddy]

My DS has just been unofficially diagnosed with HF AS (unofficially as the waiting list are so long they could not give me an appointment!!) He is going to a wonderful secondary school in Sept who will be able to help him and his junior school are being supportive at the moment but I am having huge problems at home.

He is very aggressive, abusive, destructive mainly towards myself and my DD and he keeps asking what is wrong with him and I don't know what to tell him. I feel like he is destroying our home one room at a time and hes breaking so many things, his only outlet for his frustration seems to be through aggression and I don't know what to do to calm him down.

He is a lovely boy and he is my boy but I am unable to know what to do to help.

Please help me as I feel my heart is breaking x

Hi notnow and welcome to the board. Fwiw, I think he might be angry because he feels different but doesnt know why.

If you are absolutely certain that he will get a formal diagnosis then I think you should tell him.

I have a 10 yr old Dd who was diagnosed when she was 9. I told her last summet when she was nearly 10. At the time her behaviour was very challenging and I decided to go for it as it couldnt get much worse.

Since I told her we have had some interesting behaviours but she has been calmer in many ways. She has done alot of work at school last term about feelingsnand emotions which she couldnt have done without knowing about her diagnosis.

I recommend reading Freaks, Geeks and Aspergers Syndrome by Luke Jackson. He was 14 when he wrote it and he gives some good insight into his world.

Good luck

Royal College of Phsyciatry Webb site has booklets for children which explain's their conditions. Find in their CAMHS section. May be usefull.

Regards

The age he is and the way he's feeling, I definitely would discuss it with him. DS1 is a year younger with ASD and ADHD and also defaults to angry much of the time. We discuss his condition quite openly with him, at a level he can digest.

Another book to add to the arsenal, a bit more lighthearted than others, but great for inspiring those lightbulb moments is All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome.