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Went to see the new school... Hmm

10 replies

Dinkysmummy · 04/03/2013 22:56

So I went to see dinkys new school today.

The teachers seemed friendly enough, the TAs were friendly enough, the playground looked lovely, the kids looked happy, and I think it will suit dinky to the ground!

Why am I unsure? Well, they are set up for mostly free time. Which would suit dinky's demand avoidance, (therefore reducing the need to constantly fetch her from the toilet or from under the table) and they have the three classes all in one room which is split into sort of sections. So I feel she could get lost in the mix and they wouldn't notice if she decided to just hang out in a corner for an hour or so as she is so adept at hiding (current school lost her for 45 minutes and were about to phone when she came out to go to the toilet as if nothing had happened!)

This is going to sound bad but I also think this would really affect her getting a dx and will make it all look housing related as we are moving her school within 2 weeks of moving house and her behaviour at school will improve because there are less demands at this school. Which obviously is good for dinky, but I dont want to get into all this for the paed to say nothing is wrong then it get more structured when she starts Y1 and have to try and get her referred again. Also I don't want the school to take away any support especially the play therapist as it gives her the break she needs and can play out some of her anxieties.
Or will it actually make much of a difference as some days she won't take any demands whether they be little ones like 'can you put that toy away please' or 'can you read this sentence for me'?

Hmmm. I don't know if this is going to make this whole process harder, or not.

I guess the only way to know is to just do it. She can't stay at the current school because they dont want her Or families likes ours there.

OP posts:
MareeyaDolores · 04/03/2013 23:07

You could stick at current school for another term till diagnosis well under way. Or be totally upfront with school so they're wise to her little demand avoiding tricks. Or defer the paediatric appointment for a couple of months to allow her to get settled give her time for the behaviours to re-emerge.

Preferred option would be to phone paediatric secretary and shamelessly beg get the appt brought forward so it's before the move.

PolterGoose · 04/03/2013 23:16

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dinkysmummy · 04/03/2013 23:27

I know, dx isn't everything, but it would help for them to get correct strategies in place.
I like the idea of deferring school visit until she is back to exteme demand avoidant pickle due to volume of demands settled!

I hope they would pick up on those things and seeing as she is on SEN reg at current school, that would presumably just switch over as she is at school action plus. So they would keep an eye out. Right?

Moving will almost certainly be Friday will update tomorrow as I see the place at 10am! I am so excited Grin

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 04/03/2013 23:33

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StarlightMcKenzie · 05/03/2013 09:25

Is that school the only option?

Dinkysmummy · 05/03/2013 16:47

I accepted the house!! housewarming friday!!

Starlight. Unfortunately yes, that is the only school in the area which has spaces. I can't keep her at current school and go on waiting list for the other school in the area as it would cost too much in travel and I don't really want to move her to this school and back out again....

To be honest after reflection it doesn't matter as long as dinky is happy and I think she will be!

Thank you for your support... Means the world right now! Thanks

OP posts:
bjkmummy · 05/03/2013 17:02

All I can say is that when I moved my son a few years ago due a house move, things were picked up very quickly and the dx process moved rapidly after that after previously going at a snail place so it might be a good thing to have a move but understand your initial concerns

Dinkysmummy · 05/03/2013 17:20

That is great bjkmummy! I'm glad things moved quicker for you at a new school... Hopefully this will go the same way!

Thanks for your support Smile

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 05/03/2013 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeeMom · 05/03/2013 23:02

I know you are feeling a little conflicted right now, but I would say "go with your gut".

Even though there is a strong argument for moving forward with the dx process, asking for a deferral of the visit even if it is just a month after you have moved and settled might be wise. It is not impossible that a portion of her challenging behaviours might be housing related (PLEASE understand, I am not saying that is causing it, but I know Bee is a creature of habit, and when things get uncertain, her behaviours can really become magnified). A month after moving, you certainly can't call her struggles housing related any more - and they are less likely to be dismissed.

I have asked for assessment to be deferred a couple of times in the past for Bee, and while I was never happy about the whole process being slowed, I have never regretted waiting until she is healthier/less poorly/more stable to get a more accurate picture of where she is. Hopefully, you'll find the same with Dinky.

Honks from here - there is certainly a lot going on for you right now...

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