DS with ASD rarely follows instructions - any advice?

[lottytheladybird]

My 2yr8m old DS has ASD (awaiting diagnosis). He has a speech & language delay (has about 80 words) and rarely follows instructions, which I understand is not uncommon in toddlers with ASD. For example, he will rarely bring me an item that I've asked for, and sometimes it can take forever to get him to go up or downstairs.

Have you got any advice on encouraging my DS to follow instructions? Did you experience this with your toddler and are they better at following instructions now?

That sounds exactly the same as my ds at that age. He was diagnosed ASD at 3 years. The thing that helps him is repetitiveness. And also physically manipulating him. Eg, he walked over to a climbing frame the first time & tried to walk up it as if he was walking up a wall. He had no concept to use his hands! But I placed his hands & feet on the rung & moved them up one at a time & he soon got it. Also keeping language really simple. Eg "ds, nappy!" "ds, hands" & through this happening a lot he knows what to do now.
But he surprises me too. I have been trying to get him to unzip his jacket for a long time. Placing hands on zip, pulling it down. Nothin. Then last week he walks in the living room & casually unzips his jacket & takes it off! Think he'd been practicing in secret, the wee Bugger

DS3 (2y1m, ADOS assessment will be in May) just ignores me if I give him an instruction. He has a 1 year+ receptive and expressive speech delay, has around 10 single words and two signs.

I also have older DC's on the Spectrum. Tbh, my 9yo will try to follow a one-part instruction, but a two part instruction (get your coat from your bedroom) will leave him in his bedroom with no idea why he's there.

DD is 15 this week - and she can manage most two part instructions, but three parts has her .

IME, it just takes continual attempts, for years, to get them to follow one part instructions. Then years again to get them to follow two part instructions. It remains to be seen whether DD will ever follow three part instructions (get the grey bag from your bedroom will have her bringing her grey SHOES from her bedroom, or her BLACK bag...)

I am a little tired of repeating myself...

Are you any good at drawing? Kids with ASD often process visual instructions quicker than verbal ones. At that age we often used to draw simple pictures for DD (e.g. Stick figure getting shoes, stick figure getting coat on). Once she got the hang of it it worked like a treat. Doesn't work for all kids but could be worth a try. She is now 8 and handles 2-3 step instructions but only because of intensive SALT and home work
Oh yes, and we all get tired of repeating ourselves

I use photos. terminally crap at art.

I was offered Makaton type cards to show DS. I found that a technique called Intensive Interaction really helped him connect with me and copy my movements SALT showed me the basics and now DS can go to children's centers and join in with dancing and music etc and he's started mainstream school. I think that introducing the basic idea that copying is fun is what the Intensive interaction is all about. My DS would not tolerate too much handling. We have been aware that there were potential problems with his development from about 18 months when he had his first Multi assessment,diagnosis was put off till he turned 4. He's been having therapy while we waited. There is a real improvement but the understanding of instructions or questions is reeeeaaalllly frustrating

Hello, my Dd has always struggled with instructions. I keep everything short, demonstrated as I was using an instruction eg Put coat on..while putting and invisible coat on (didn't actually realize I was doing this until someone pointed it out to me ) and use pictures sometimes to back up instructions. If you aren't confident with your art work like me , a stick man can look like a twig! there are many laminated pictures on ebay which may help.

For me it helped to:

1. Make sure you've got their attention before you even think about giving the instruction. Ds rarely responded to his own name at that age, so sometimes getting his attention meant touching his shoulder or even just standing right in front of him. Some children won't like to be touched at all, so it's a case of finding out what your ds does/doesn't like.

2. Keep instructions very short. As others have said "Ds nappy" or "Ds coat" works better than "Get your coat/nappy on".

3. Only one instruction at a time. "Coat and shoes on" might be too much to process all at once.

4. Using picture cards. The SALT gave us cards for lots of everyday things, which we could show ds as a visual prompt. So if I wanted ds to get his coat I would get his attention, show him the coat symbol, and say "Ds coat".

Ds1 was like this as a toddler. He's now 12 and is generally pretty good at following instructions - depending on how literal he's being!

Ds2 was the same. He's now 10 and can follow instructions as long as you don't give more than one or two at a time.

Thank you so much for all of your advice and for telling me about your DC. I will be trying out all of your suggestions on my DS!

76madmummy - Do you know where I can find out more about Intensive Instruction?

So glad I'm not the only one tired of repeating myself...