I'm new to special needs. need some help, please!

[lisson]

I've just been told by a tutor that DS probably has dysgraphia and likely auditory processing disorder too. I asked her to help improve DS's handwriting but she's a special needs teacher for her main job and has 30+ years experience so i guess she knows what she is talking about.

The tutor's advice was to get DS formally assessed with a view to getting extra time for SATS (he's in year 6). However, I've since discovered that the deadline for doing that passed last week.
The primary school have been saying forever that his handwriting is really bad and slow but its only recently that it seems to have become a real issue and that's only because he isn't doing as well in the practice English SATS as expected.
So, what do I do now? Try to get the primary school to recognise it with the hope that the secondary school will take up where they leave off, or just go straight to the secondary school and get the paperwork in place for them?
The tutor says she can do the tests on DS and write the report, but its a question of whether the school will accept her qualifications, or whether they will require a (more expensive) report from an educational psychologist.
Also, I went to the tutor looking for a solution, not expecting any of this. Is it impossible now or is there a chance that with help DS will grow out of it?

Where are you based Lisson ?? Are you in the UK??

I am not sure but I dont think your tutor's report would be enough. Hopefully someone with better insight will come along shortly.....

I would suggest you need to talk to the SENCO at the primary school and ask them to arrange an Ed Psych coming to see him. I think the SATS needs to be a secondary consideration for you, frustrating though that is. Instead focus on getting the right professionals involved in working with you to get to the bottom of the problems your DS is dealing with, and when he moves to secondary you will be better informed to tell them how they need to support him. APD will need to be diagnosed at Great Ormond Street so I would start looking into what is needed for referral and get these sorted first. I think from memory when DD went she had to have a recent clear hearing test and a paed or Ed Psych letter that made the suggestion that they were concerned re APD as a possibility. With regards to the dysgraphia, I am not sure who would see your son but I would suggest and OT referral to get his motor skills looked at would be a good start.

In terms of what he needs - that will need to be determined by the findings really. He may just need "standard" help from the school but in some cases where the school can't normally meet these needs a statement may be necessary to ensure that full support is needed. If you think this may apply then a good place for info is the IPSEA website. I would suggest that first of all you need to find out a bit more about his difficulties so that you have that info available to request a statutory assessment.

Can't advise but can bump.

I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you as it is not something I have had any experience with, but it is hard finding out that your child has SN.

The secondary school won't be able to help yet, I think.

Are the primary school supportive?

Thanks for all your replies. I really appreciate them.
Just to answer some questions:-
I am in the South East.

I suspect the primary school will do their best to do nothing. I wrote to them yesterday but I am not expecting a reply. By coincidence, DS's teacher is also the SENCO and she's spent the last two years telling him to write faster, write more neatly and she's even sent his work home a few times with a covering note for me to sign and return to acknowledge that he hasn't done enough at school (i.e. that he was being lazy). Basically she's been beating him up for ages now about not working hard enough and it was when he started to crack under the pressure that I went into the school a few weeks ago to try to get her to back off (which she has now done).
Then, over half term when things had calmed down, I tried to work with DS to improve his handwriting. But apart from buying a better pen, I couldn't make any progress with him. So I arranged a private tutor and she spotted dysgraphia straight away (I'd never heard of it).

Thanks for the flowers Dinkysmummy because it is hard. I feel that I have let DS down and I feel really GUILTY. I should have been looking out for him but instead I waited until his teacher was practically bullying him before I stepped in. Now I know a little about dysgraphia, I can see that all the signs have been there since the first day that DS picked up a pencil.

I apologised to DS this morning for it. He's only 10 but he said to me "its ok. You weren't to know. Its not like you are a SENCO teacher or anything. I'll just pick myself up and get on with it."

The one piece of luck is that DS was offered a place at a good local comprehensive on Friday which just so happens to have a well-regarded SEN department. So, the head of that department spoke to me on the phone on Monday afternoon. She said to contact her in September and she'd arrange to have DS assessed and meantime, I should teach him touch typing and get the GP to refer him to an occupational therapist.

The only thing that the secondary school said that I feel uneasy about, is she advised to not pay for any private assessments and not to bother going back to the handwriting tutor. The reason i feel uncomfortable with this is because I keep reading threads on MN where people say that the private tests were more thorough and really identified the exact issue. Plus, the handwriting tutor was the one who spotted the problem and if I let her go then its just me + the internet versus the primary school SENCO between now and July.

If the school is going to pay for a thorough assessment then I think it would be fine to let them do it and save your money.

Can you call back and ask what the assessment will involve?

I can't see any harm in going to hand writing tutor because she is expert in SEN so knows what to do for disgraphia and won't teach in way that undermines his confidence.

The thing with DS is that his poor handwriting stands out by a mile from his other work, which is almost always good (apart from drawing). He holds his pen badly, can't seem to master writing a decent "s" or "f" but he's in G&T for maths, gets top marks in the Spelling and Grammar practice SATS and has a good general knowledge. Its just when he has to write something, he is hit and miss with the grammar and punctuation because he has to concentrate so hard on handwriting. He doesn't mess around in class and he's not lazy.
Suddenly, its just so obvious that his handwriting is bad for a good reason, but neither me nor his teacher was looking.

Thanks DisAstrophe. The handwriting tutor costs £40 per hour which is making DH and I wince a bit because it will soon add up! But having her advice and support is huge for me.

Just to add, I've been reading these special needs boards for the first time ever. What some of your children have to deal with! My heart goes out to you all.
I know my worries about my son are nothing in comparison but thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply: your support is really appreciated.

That's the thing about inclusion - it includes everyone!!

I would ask the tutor to be vv honest about the extent to which her intervention will help your ds. Also as your ds sound compliant and conscientious could she set homework and then only see your ds once a month or once a fortnight

Awww bless him... (re: it's Ok. You wernt to know....) so sweet!

I know what you mean about feeling guilty, my dd has had signs of SN since she was 18months (now 5) but I found other things to put it down to.

If you don't know about something you can't know. Please don't beat yourself up, the main thing is you are aware now, and you got a tutor in to help before you knew. You have had his best interests at heart all along...

He sounds like a lovely kid.

Dinky is right don't beat yourself up about not realising before. With hindsight it may be obvious but at the time you are doing the best you can with your child's overall interests at heart. This is from someone whose Ds was diagnosed with AS at 10 and who then thought 'actually he has clearly had issues since he was a baby'.

I think you need to ask the school for an educational psychologist referral. It may take ages so it is good that secondary school are ready to assess. I don't know much about APD but it would probably need to be assessed by paediatrician in the first instance so you would need to go to the GP. GP may also not know much so I would go armed with information. Hopefully the tutor could supply this if she has suggested it.
As said above OT referral is probably best for help with dysgraphia.

If you feel the tutor is helping your son and you can afford to continue paying her I would if only to prevent him from becoming discouraged.

Don't worrry too much about the SATS. In my experience most secondaries do their own assessments early in yr 7.