2yr check sweat - need to get a grip

[frizzcat]

Those of you who know me, know that ds 8 has a dx ASD. Dd is 2yrs old this week and so far seems fine - but you never take your eye off the ball do you... Every behaviour is analysed, milestones checked off with military precision. I should add that ds unhelpful paediatrician added to the worry when dd was 4mths by saying "oh she'll probably have ASD too"

So the appointment for the 2yr check came through at the weekend with a questionnaire on development - it's taken me until today to look at it - in case any red flags popped up that I hadn't considered.
Put dd down for a nap, made some coffee and went through it - all the answers suggests that there's nothing wrong and dd is developing in the typical way.

When I told dh, he asked was I finally going to relax ... The honest answer is no! I just can't .......... Is this the same for everyone? Or should I kick myself up the arse! Or possibly book myself some time out in a padded cell?

It's the same for me. I have DS2 who has EDS (hypermobility) and from the first scan with the 2 younger children I've been a paranoid lunatic looking for symptoms. If it helps, out of the families I know there are far more with one child with ASD than more than one child with ASD.

LOL!

I know with absolute certainty that I will not be attending the 2 year check.

What's the point? They didn't recognise a classic case of moderate-severe autism in ds despite me begging for help, so why on earth am I going to take baby ds there?

Besides, I know more about early childhood development now than any HV I should imagine, and if I have any concerns it will be straight to the GP for a referral to a dev paed, IF (and it is a big IF) I feel that there is anything I need help with.

What star said. Dd2 is 27 months old and I skipped the 2 year check up

had loads of contact with the HVs when I had concerns about Dd1 (classic autism) only to be discharged when she was 3.1 and told that my expectations of a 3 year old are too high and Dd1 is fine (after all, not talking, not understanding language, obsessive behaviours, not being toilet trained etc are all within the realms of a normal development and every child is different )

Dd2 is quirky but advanced in most areas. if I ever have concern i will get her referred via GP. i won't waste any more time on HVs.

Yes starlight - if I had my way she wouldn't be going, but dh wants one check done as I've refused all others and done vaccines to my own time table. I've had my way all the way through so I feel I need to bend a bit for him.
Actually at ds 2yr review I told the HV to get out of my house after she looked at ds and said " he's not normal, but don't let it put you off having any more kids"

Zzzzz that could could be taken two ways

Ellie - glad to see I'm not the only looney in the club

Choc - seriously that's disgusting but unfortunately not surprising..... Did you feed back to them on how much they'd missed?

i complained to pals who, surprise surprise, did not find too much amiss with the service we had received. i complaines also in the same letter about the crap nonexistant Salt provision. we started Salt within a week of posting the letter (and the salt was actually really good)... Paed was shocked though when i told him about the HV and our HVs had to sit in our Ados (via screen) as a 'training'...

I did take DS to his 2 year check and a list of concerns about his speech and odd behaviour, I was told he was doing fantastic and the old chestnut boys are often slower than girls with speech so stop comparing him with his sister cos he's right on track ect ect
18 months later he was DX with classic autism,a severe speech disorder and severe learning disability...
So what do they think they were actually checking for that day!

Clean pants perhaps coffee? I do have a HV friend she's a trained paediatric nurse, then moved to midwifery and is now a HV, she says she despairs at some of the HVs she works with, to the point where she's considering going back to midwifery as she can't stand working with such incompetence. She also said that the main thing they look for now is abuse .....
Choc - I also did a Pals complaint and a letter to an MP had a paediatrician appointment within 3mths and was assigned SALT for ds.

Once I had dd, I looked at the HV with utter disdain and they could tell they didn't dare offer any advice - they'd have had their checklist rammed down their throat. However knowing what I know about child development and even though dd is chatty, engaged, social, climbing, jumping, trying to ride a scooter - that familiar cold sweat arrived, I think a lot of it is I have absolutely no tolerance for under qualified people discussing anything about my dc - it puts my friggin back up iykwim

maybe your Dh wants to take your Dd to her 2-year check up

Oh yes that sets me off too - my come back to that is well, perhaps you should review your training and then you won't have repeat visits from the same parents

Choc - I fast coming to that conclusion. I showed him this thread - he said " so, they're all like that!? I thought it was just our one that was rubbish"

And this is how it could be...