Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Help me be nice - following on from Star...

28 replies

inappropriatelyemployed · 02/03/2013 11:50

OK, following on from Star's inspirational niceness victory, I am doing the AR parental form this weekend.

This is long - be patient!

School are very kind, very helpful and willing to try new things.

However, there are three problems with reporting on progress.

  1. DS's TA is difficult - a 'muggle' if you will Grin It really is a case of 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink'. She is very keen on making him do the same as everyone else but she has no strategies to achieve this. She also often fails to follow advice from professionals or record her interventions. This should be less of a problem now we have our own SLT and our own OT involved but it was a problem when NHS S< was wafting in occasionally to see how things were going as targets were being marked as met on the basis of a casual conversation that DS 'usually' or generally did x,y or z.

She is very reactive and when things are going well she reneges from the provision and then gets annoyed when things go badly again. She handles him in a way which inevitably leads to pointless and avoidable confrontations.

How do I report back on the need to 'all sing from the same hymn sheet' and follow the required provision and advice without being overbearing, critical or condemnatory?

  1. NHS SLT is another story. We have DPs now for S< but she has just sent me her report. She has met DS twice. Her modus operandi was to go into school, talk to TA and report back to me what the targets would be as a fait accompli. I let this go for the 'greater good' but sometimes the targets would be particularly inappropriate, for example, a suggestion that DS spend 10 mins every day, at the end of the day with his TA to talk through the things that had gone wrong. This seemed very negative and doing this with a TA he is not particularly comfortable with and who may have a role to play herself in some of the things which had 'gone wrong' seemed very unfair.

Anyway, her report has listed all the targets she suggested but which were not worked on, commenting that work didn't happen because of me. No explanation of my reasons which just makes me look obstructive and I don't see what the point is in listing targets which were withdrawn.

She also left him without provision between Oct and December. He had been put in a social skills group but no one had gone through targets or explained the purpose of the group. I did not know this. DS thought the group was a bit of fun and when he found out what it was, he was really annoyed as he felt stupid that people thought he needed to be taught the things they were doing. The SLT had never discussed with me the contents of the groups but from what he said it seems like they were really inappropriate for his ability. Anyway, her report simply suggests that the groups were stopped because of 'parental feedback'(even though he told staff this himself) and doesn't explain how she then left him for two months without adjusting the provision - this included a statementing visit being missed.

SLT is now out of the way so I don't want to spend too much time battling this and have made comments on the report. Do I just make these comments in the report and move o, looking to the future with a different SLT?

  1. DS has some programmes which need to be set up but he doesn't want to do them with TA - they relate to sensitive anxiety management issues.

How do I manage this?

I am told TA will be at meeting.

OP posts:
coff33pot · 05/03/2013 11:39

Just wondered does he get short breaks or are they expecting him to withstand the classroom all day?

An hour is a long time I know DS would not manage it without needing sensory regulating or quiet time at his other workstation.

The old school tried to confine him inside the room and he knew it when all they had to do was allow him short breaks or "jobs to do" that broke up the day. Result was he would go inside but once playtime started he would refuse point blank to come back in or run off and hide in a cupboard.

New school different routine. He has a calender/planner with times of what goes all all day every day. He has lots of short breaks away as his attention was between 7 to 9 mins. Class phonics is loud and he doesnt like it so he removes himself to his workstation outside the class now. Which started off constant but now he regulates it himself. However it took a while to build up trust that he was allowed a free reign and would not be forced to stay in the class against his will.

Now he stays in the class 20 mins to half hour at a time. Anything longer and the TA recommends they go off and stretch their legs or kick a ball together whether he looks like he needs it or not. This helps as he can overload himself by pushing himself to far to stay in there (totally different from before!) and so later in the day is overloaded instead.

It works maybe the school could sort something out like that?

inappropriatelyemployed · 05/03/2013 12:30

Thanks Coff - that sounds just like DS. It is interesting because it is that idea of 'free reign' that his TA is so scared of. And to be honest the ABA interventions we have had have reinforced this by suggesting that letting a child choose when he needs a break is letting him have his own way Hmm

It is very interesting being in class because I can see his concentration wonders and that it is very warm in there. He actually also needs motivating on some things (which was the point of me turning to ABA).

It is frustrating to see the TA in action. Her first words to him this morning were 'put your feet down'. Cue grimace from him. Then she constantly pushes the boundaries of what has been agreed. I have spoken to her and asked her to just stick to the script.

Star, I think that 'what is in it for her' is that there may be conflict when she is working with DS on his own as she rubs him up the wrong way so would rather him be in class. That's why she was pushing today for him to have someone work with them when he was adamant he wasn't ready for this.

OP posts:
coff33pot · 05/03/2013 14:05

Ah! but the way it is done is that he built and designed his own workstation outside the class with the TA. Took photos etc and printed off his own stickers. Then he was allowed to bring in something from home that he would like in there like a cushion/fleece etc.

Yes in a way he has in own way in leaving the class room but at the same time he doesnt as he is not allowed to wonder off anywhere he pleases it has to be to his work station? Initially he started to wonder off and with my agreement he was told simply either the workstation or the class which is it to be.

It has helped DS tremendously in he has learnt how to speak up now when all is getting to much rather than just running for it iyswim. There is room for cajoling from the TA too ie. "do you know its only 5 mins on your calender and its lunch if we get this done we just might get an extra 5 mins break later in the day" etc quite often he chooses to stick it out for those 5 mins"

yes he has his own way but no not really as he still has rules and boundaries to follow.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page