Daphne Keen's contact details please

[silverfrog]

Following dd2's parent's evening last night (verdict: all well and good, stupidly advanced in some areas, yet surprisingly vulnerable and exposed in others - spiky profile, anyone ), where her teacher said, and I quote:

"she can have a little trouble with needing everything to be perfect, and I can see why you raised concerns last time (when she had only known dd2 for 7 weeks, and dismissed our concenrs with a cheery 'oh no, I really haven't seen anythign to worry me at all'). I think that it would be worthwhile pursuing this if you still have concerns" - this about a polite, able, very bright (and therefore incredibly quick at adapting and covering up issues - another thing her teacher noted) 6 year old girl.

so, 'something' is up, right? I mean, we've known for a long while, and have been managing it ourselves since we would be unlikely to get anywhere with a standard assessment/dx process. but for a ms teacher to notice, say that she has a couple of niggles, agree that she can see where we are coming from, and ask for a further meeting to properly discuss, as well as saying she will keep a diary to help us have a record of concerns - reading between the lines, this is all quite concrete, isn't it?

so, does anyone have Daphne Keen's details, please? and a ballpark for costs. there's no point in arsing about with waiting lists - dd2 needs her needs to be recognised. if they are beginning to show (albeit to a teacher who has been pre-warned) then we want to have something in writing to approach the school with, to stop any of the 'let's see how she settles' crap that we have had for each of her 2 years at school so far. and some pre-emptive work on their part would not go amiss either, rather than it all falling to us.

Very sorry to hear that silverfrog.

This is her website www.daphnekeen.co.uk/ we paid about £750 for a two hour consultation in nov 2011.

thanks, dev, wil take a look.

and no need to feel sorry - honestly, we have been 'keeping an eye out' and monitoring/adjusting/mediating for her since she was a toddler. and we intervene/moderate for her just as much as we do for dd1, it was just htat with her being bright and articulate, no one else was seeing what we saw.

it is good that her teacher has noticed enough to agree with us - we have hated being fobbed off with 'she'll be ok once she settles' reasoning.

tbh, we actually went ot see Growing Minds over issues with dd2 rather than dd1 - that is how obvious it was to us. and so we have been adjusting/managing her for long enough now.

dh and I realised the other day that at this point last year we were saying the same things as mitigating arguments for ehr behaviour as we have been saying this last couple fo weeks - so definitely not a short term issue, and it is time to do somethign about it.

mostly we want to alleviate her anxieties (same as for dd1 then - I have long said that the main difference between dd1 and dd2 is that dd2 doesn't have dd1's language disorder. the sensory issues/anxieties/control issues are exactly the same, we can just reason with and understand dd2 more easily)

I take that back then silver.

You will have to go through her secretary and it can be a long waiting list but we were able to get a cancelation within two weeks so it was pretty quick for us.

yes, have read on here before re: secretary/waiting list.

what kind of times were you quoted before you got the cancellation? I'd like to get this done bfore the end of the academic year, while we have an 'onside' teacher. I have no idea what SEN support is like at dd2's school - in many ways it might not be a good place to be - reasonably-high pressured prep school. but then that may well suit dd2 down to the ground (high structure level, clear expectations and rules). we just wnt her needs recognised before they become a problem (for her or the school) - if handled correctly now, I don't see why she would ever have problems, iyswim. but we need school onside with that, and my gently-gently approach of raising awareness before problems arise hasn't worked so far - I get shocked looks, and complete bafflement that it would ever occur to me... they don't have to deal with her at home, or spend the time explaining/setting her up for stuff.

thanks, Hothead.

Have heard nothing but good things about her, and yes - am hopeful that she will see right through dd2's cover-ups and coping, and get straight tot the point.

dd2 is our PDA-type child, and we are seeing control issues rear their head once more - she was a nightmare in the run up to her birthday/party, trying to make sure it was all going to be just as she envisaged.

What a positive step forward, Silverfrog. I think you're doing exactly the right thing.

It's funny, isn't it how you don't realise that 'normal' parents don't have to explain everything to the nth degree.

thanks, lougle. yes, the explaining to the nth degree is very wearing (yet just a way of life for us )

I got an email this morning saying that dd2 needs to be weaing her school tracksuit and trainers for a trip next week.

dd2 doesn't do trousers. or trainers.

I mean, she'll wear them for PE lessons (although I am not sure she wears her tracksuit bottoms, tbh - I only ever see her wearing shorts/PE top and then her coat on over the top when I see her moving about to/from after school clubs)

Still, at least I have a couple fo days to break the news to her. It's a shame though - she was so excited about the trip, and this will really take the shine off.

To be honest, she just rang us straightaway for an appointment, that was our first contact from her. but I have heard waiting times of around 2-3months on here.

And yes what lougle said, it is a positive step. I can see there are going to be some issues re ds2 even though he is doing all the usual pointing, smiling etc. like yourself it will mostly be sensory issues and rigidity. We are already thinking of starting him on an ABA programme alongside ds1.

I would agree. The best thing we did was seeing Daphne Keen, she was brilliant! and she understood just what we were talking about. When we took report in to school they said "Yes we all knew he had Aspergers didn't we?!!!"
We were quoted about 3 months wait, but it was very difficult getting through to her secretary and had to resort to emailing her direct.

thanks, everyone.

I agree that it is a positive step that her teacher is beginning to agree with us - we now want to strike while the iron is hot!

I have called and left a message, and also emailed. Will chase early next week if no answer is forthcoming.

Does DD2 have friends, Silver?

You know I was ?about my DD2. Since changing schools some of the social stuff seems to have evaporated - she's actually interacting with children, talking about them and even talking about boyfriends! In fact her teacher said that had I not mentioned it she 'almost wouldn't believe it', with a voice that said 'I definitely don't believe it.'

The language, literal thinking etc still remain....but I'm wondering now if it could be purely language issues that make her find the world hard to understand?

I went to see DK with DS1. She is very good. The assessment itself is via the diagnositic consultation with DK. She does not carry out 'formal' analysis. ime one comm paed 'disagreed' with the diagnosis but did not attempt to challenge it and another completely agrees and accepts. Hence DS1 does not need any further NHS system for an accepted 'official' diagnosis.

It helps to have other reports/assessments to give a more complete picture. I also had a private DISCO assessment by Margo Sharp (SALT) - she specialises in DD btw.

I had to wait about 3 months for a consulation - including over 2 months before the secretary got back to me despite numerous phone calls and emails.

thanks, KeepOn. dd2 has no apparent delays (I owuld question whether her language comprehension is as advanced as her language use, but then her language use is so far ahead of where it is that even a significant difference between the two is not really a delay in comprehension, iyswim?). we may get an ed psych on board at some point, if the school turns out to not know what they are doing. but otherwise, I don't think any other input is needed right now.

lougle - dd2 does have friends. she has one in particular, but it is not the healthiest of friendships, imo. her teacher from last year agreed with me on that, and this year they are now in different classes - doesn't stop them playing together and being joined at the hip a lot of the time, but it does give them each some much needed space throughout the day.

dd2 is generally very happy at school - she absolutely loves it, and is taking full advantage of everything on offer. the only bit she doesn't like is swimming, which started out as a personality clash, and has embedded as a "I just don't like swimming, ok?" - will take an absolute age to turn that one around, but we are working on it.

dd2 certainly doesn't 'get' typical playground interactions - she is learning fast, but will remain that half-step or so behind while she catches on and learns what to do. partly due to not having typical interactions at home with dd1, but also due to her own difficulties. she makes everything so black and white (to fit in with her rigid views, I guess), so has really taken to heart the fact that she is 'not supposed' to play with boys/play 'boys' games/like 'boys' things because her best friend has said so. so it is really tricky, especially now that I cannot 'control' what influences her!

however, she hs a project to do for school this week, and I have just asked her what she wants the subject to be - broad topic is Inventions and Discoveries. She has said she wants to find out about cars . I bet there'll be a lot of faces when she hands that one in, as she presents as stereotypical girly-girl at school...

I know DK has a great reputation on MNSN. I have nothign to say about her but pls DO NOT go and see another doc Called Denise Challis in Great Portland Hospital. I do not think she is good for HFA kids....she is quite set in her ways and not aware of the latest research in the spectrum areas. Same for another doc called Diane Smith. DD was dismissed as non-autistic by her and we were given a lecture on babying our kid and she was diagnosed as having egocentric immature behaviour.
NHS then diagnosed her as ASD.