DS difficult getting back into class after half term

[inappropriatelyemployed]

DS has found it really difficult settling back to class after half term.

He has phases like this. Being in class all the time can be stressful and demanding and his TA has backed off from him as he doesn't really like her around. When things go well, the usual scaffold of breaks and support starts to fade. Then when things go badly or he gets anxious, it is all about reacting to things.

School are very flexible and helpful (save for TA who hits a staggering number of mistimed beats with him) so they are always willing to try new things and new ideas.

I have got him back into class in the mornings on the last two days by a clear plan about how long he will be in there, what we will do, and by staying with him.

He will let me withdraw once he is more confident so I am not worried about that. He is 10 and he generally doesn't want mum around all the time.

We are seeing the EP on Monday and it would be good to set out a clear plan of what to do with her. I think building things up gradually and keeping support in place even when things go well is important. I just wondered what experience others have had.

Ds also 10 had the sickness bug just before half term and found it incredibly hard to return to school. We have managed to get him back by taking the following approach:

Half days only this week
Clear plan as to what to do, what room he'll be in as he is unable to cope with the classroom
Programme of activities agreed with him daily for the next day
Next week increase time at school gradually, and increase "work"

So far so good , and I can see the anxiety literally melting away

I would like to hear what your EP suggests! All kudos for managing to get one in the first place

Cheers chums! EP is slowly getting more involved and is actually very good on Asperger issues.

It looks like planning ahead and agreeing what will be done and sticking to that and keeping scafollding in place are two main issues.

Glad to see I am not alone iykwim!

Will defo share what EP suggests.

I think there can be this feeling (well intentioned) that things are somehow solved and DS is somehow 'cured' once back in class. But all he is is back in class. There is always the need for flexibility I think with high functioning older children and it is something they have to learn themselves too as they get older.

Linda Millar is bringing out a book on specifically around flexibility of thinking and how to handle it in schools next month. I have my copy on order as I think it may directly offer school friendly solutions to some of our most common concerns. She seems to have some really school-friendly ideas generally (which is why I use her rather than purist ABA consultants who seem to specialise in getting up the noses of ordinary school and LA staff).

Gotta agree re the "cure" theory. DS is a lot better than he was because he has the scaffolding to enable him to function - remove it and it all goes to pot very quickly. We all want the magic bullet but persuading school staff it doesn't exist and that plodding along is the only option is sometimes easier said than done. And parents get accused of being in denial lol!

www.5papproach.co.uk/index.php?news&nid=6

Linky above. I like this lady as she's state school friendly in her suggested strategies (purist ABA seems to have totally alienated the state sector). She also specialises in the HFA kids & teens that seem to get forgetten about by many big names in the industry.

It would be lovely to compare thoughts when we've read our copies.

I will have a look at that. Thanks

Following on from this, I did DS's pupil form for the AR today and I was quite horrified to see him type how much he dislikes and distrusts the other children.

There have been a couple of recent incidents where children have told his TA that he has sworn or done something and he has denied it categorically. He is dead straight so the smart money is on him.

His TA has handled it rather badly and DS confronted her about this in a meeting saying he knew she never believed him.

It seems that these experiences have also eroded his trust in his peers and it explains why he doesn't want to be with them.

It was like he really hated them but that could be a reflection of him feeling so different from them.

Now he says he is ill and we have long awaited meeting with EP tomorrow.

I am worried for him now. He seems so down about it all.

I will flag this up tomorrow if we manage to meet! Even if the TA is there, I will ask to speak privately.

Trouble is, the school doesn't really have LSAs save for those supporting specific children or who come in to do specific work so it is not as simple as swapping people over.

I have raised all of these issues before and head has said he will organise someone else but it won't be immediate. I will follow that up.

That sounds awful for your DS, I agree with poltergoose the TA seems to be the problem.

I hope things get better for him..

Thanks. I was in school with him on Friday to support him getting back to class and she doesn't do anything massively wrong - it's just not right and it leads to escalations and conflict.

Would a different TA make him feel differently about the children though?

His regular TA needs a lunch break

Perfect opportunity for someone else to take him under their wing and help with peer relationships. I'm sure that DS's lunchtime TA has been his saving grace this year, as he's got someone he can confide in iykwim . His regular classroom one is too rude to even say a casual "good morning" in passing so lord knows how she's supposed to model appropriate social skills .

I managed to get 5 hours lunchtime TA support written into DS's statement, without having any real idea at the time what a blessing it would turn out to be. (I wanted DS to have the chance to generalise the skills learnt in the formal classroom sessions as he's an only child.)

I think I'll cry if DS gets the same TA for class next year. It's just nuts constantly having to work around a 1:1.

We are supposed to have support at lunch but he wouldn't want her near him!

If it helps my day'll be starting same as yours today - mutual honkathon?