please tell me what a CAF is ?

[thriftychic]

I dont think i want this .

i called the police after ds2 (14) was aggressive with me and now i seem to have a social worker and i think school are being asked to fill in a CAF . ds2 was diagnosed AS in october but i think most of his issues i.e his bad behaviour are more extreme teenage behaviours .

the letter says that i approached them for help but when the police came i did say that i was sorry i had called and thought it a mistake .

since all that happened ( 3 or 4 weeks ago) it seems to have given ds2 a wake up call and he hasnt been aggressive since . i have also managed to find some behaviour strategies that seem to work after reading up on PDA . I dont think i want anymore outside help , its made everything worse so far ( well camhs did anyway)

can i stop this ?

Ok...
CAF is common assessment framework

Basically what will happen (if you agree to it) is

You will complete the CAF form, which is a long form first going through DS's strengths and needs, then the family's strengths and needs

It will go to a planning meeting with (this is not an exact list some might not be there and there are some that I might miss out)
CAMHS, school, SS, family link worker service, connexions or other age appropriate support service, behavioural support, ect

They will go through the form and each service will say if they can help with certain things.

Then they will hold a TAC meeting and tell you what they propose and how to best help you as a family.

You don't have to do it if you dont want to.... The idea is to get all the services to work together and offer a package of support that suits you as a family.

If you don't want to do it, when the school approach you about it, decline.

I've just done this with dd and have a TAC meeting on the 26th March.

Good luck what ever you decide to do

oh thankyou , im getting in a right old tizz today

school told camhs that they dont really have a problem , so what would they be able to say on a form ??

my letter seems to be asking school to fill in a CAF

What they say he is like at school is irrelevant if the issues come out at home. (this could be a reason for the explosive behaviour- trying to keep it together at school and letting it all out at home)
The point is they have to do the form with you and you put across what you think his strengths and needs are at home. They do the school bit.
My dd has only been violent twice at school but is extremely violent at home. (I'm lucky she is only 5!) this was noted on the CAF form.

Since the CAF form was done I have agreed to a referral to family link worker service. I don't think anyone else is involved yet (although dd is going to CDC to see if she can be assessed for PDA/ASD). So the TAC will consist of someone from integrated services, school senco, the family link worker and me (dinky is too little to take part)

will ds2 have to know about all of this ? He doesnt accept he has any problem and it was a BIG issue for him when he had to go to camhs because he said he felt like a freak and didnt want to be different than his friends .

when i stopped taking him he improved , the slightest hint that anyone thinks he has special needs sends him spiralling into misery. TBH im not sure i accept the diagnosis of AS myself , he just doesnt fit most of the criteria and i think i answered some of the assessment questions wrong . we had one psych say he didnt have it and one that said he did. We havent discussed Aspergers because he point blank refuses.
He is much better when he feels like 'one of the lads' and its only this year that he has picked himself back up in that respect and got some friends again so i dont want to make things any worse.
p

Well, if you asked for him not to be included because he wouldn't go for it then they might listen, I'm not sure.
If you are considering he has PDA it makes complete sense for him not to want to do it. He is not in full control and there will be expectations made of him. Although you could try talking to him about it and say that he is in control and can make decisions.
Bless him. He is not a freak to have gone to camhs. It is also apparently very normal for kids with PDA to be dx with aspergers.
Many, many kids get connexions advisors. They are generally pretty good. It's a 13-19 years service. He can pop into connexions anytime you don't need a CAF for it.

Does he have to tell his mates that he has these meetings?

To be honest I think the family link worker is for the parent mostly.

I think the best thing to do would be to talk to the head teacher, because they should know the answers that apply to your and your DS.

My dd is only 5 so most of it is about supporting me with her behaviour (plus a gateway to CAMHS but it didn't quite work out)

Look on the gov website under integrated services and take a look see if you can get more specific guidance there

thanks dinkysmummy

Carrot Assessment Framework

Meant to be similar to this promo website's ideal.

We are going down this route but still in the early stages so can't tell you exactly what to expect. As far as we are concerned if the social worker can exert more pressure on CAMHS and the paediatricians to get things as far as diagnosis moving then it is helpful. They have also referred us to spurgeons for behaviour management - as I feel we have got into a vicious circle with this I am again regarding it as a positive. My sons are younger than yours but we certainly won't be taking them to the meetings.

We went through caf and in my opinion it is a way of holding things up! Not much got done, except talking about whether there was any change since the last meeting. I was a single mum of 4 children. i told them was so low I wanted to drive my car into a wall, I couldn't cope another day and still nothing happened, we never received one bit of help as a result of the caf. After another couple of meetings they decided he caf was not appropriate. GP referred us to camhs. They made us wait 5 months until a parenting course became available and I had attended all 12 weeks before we were even considered. Despite the fact had 3 well behaved children. Camhs were a waste of time, the clue is in the name. Asd type issues are not mental health issues as defined by camhs. Finally we were referred to community paeds, waited 9 months for an appointment, finally we were where we needed to be. A year on we had a final diagnosis of ADHD and PDA. Maybe caf works uf a child has behaviour issues and the people attenddo what they say they will but certainly in our case all it did was waste 2 years! If you suspect pda ask your gp to refer you to community paeds.

thanks kyla , sorry to hear your experience has been so bad. I feel like giving up on all the so called professionals . No better off now than when i started 3 years ago even though we have an aspergers diagnosis there doesnt seem to be much anyone can do .