Mrs F

[jenk1]

anyone heard from her recently?

I think she's okay but has just been busy lately.

It's not the same without her on here though. :(

I was wondering about her the other day, I'm missing her!

Yes, I've been thinking about her too, and in fact talking to DH about her, or more accurately her DSs! MrsF, were your ears burning??

I hope she is Ok....Ive mailed a couple of times and asked here about her...CT...if you speak to her say Hi from me and the rest of my gang.

hello! I'm OK! hope you are all coping well too!

I hardly ever get anywhere near the PC now...all 3 boys AND Andy (DH!) are fully obsessed now with 'going online'(DH is the WORST!!!!)...and we plan to 'go wireless'(!!!) with the internet so that we can connect both pc's up to the internet at once...but honestly I think we have finally come to the point where we either convert the house into a 'virtual computer'...and we all just live inside it in 'cyberspace'...permanently connected ...or we will have to get 3 more p.c's so that ALL of us can be 'obsessive' at the same time.
Maybe we should scrap having a dining room...as noone ever wants to use it....maybe we should make it into an 'Internet cafe'...as i'm certain if I were to feed the lads whilst they were online...they'd actually eat.

Grrrr!!!

(still as you all know ...I do have an unusual household ...in that I'm 99.9% certain that ALL 5 of us are in some way on the AS!)

So noone likes 'ending activities'...noone likes 'sharing'...noone (except me!) seems instinctively able to 'put themselves in other's shoes'...All the males are intesely competitive- so ALL want to be first/to win....me...well I am the 1/2 empty glass.

Additionally...though definitely no agonising pain for a month now...I have possible gallbladder problems...scan at hosptal 25th may...nothing serious i know...but when it hurts...it HURTS! Ironic...but seems worse now since i have been trying to eat less etc...apparently it flares up following episodes of 'bige eating'...which i haven't done raelly for 6 months...and fom my understanding...my gallbldder must have been used to operating in a certain way to cope with my huge sporadic binges...and now i am not binging... it is in effect producing to much bile...which apparently causes my discomfort??? Ofcourse...this is just my conclusion after reading about links between eating disorders and gallbladder probs! and I know that like my thyroid... when they scan my gallbladder they will say it's fine!!!!

Talking of thyroid...i have persuaded my gp to test it again...las test a year ago. Currently i have cold hand and feet permanently...generally also have cold nose.....I am so tired all the time...yet mentally (aniexty) cannot switch off in bed- so doze off for maybe an hour then i am awake for 2 ...maybe doze off again.... I am eating less...loads of fruit/veg...and my weight is increasing. My body temp is average 36.2 (quite low) and whereas 3 years ago my pulse was fast (as very unfit!!!) average 90/100 bpm...now despite being obese and inactive...my pulse is average 70 bpm...which though 'normal'...is hell of a lot slowere than before.

so all this fits the idea that my thyroid levels are low...my body is hibernating. But untill it actually drops low enough on the blood test... they wont let me try meds.

so i decided last month... to wait till the warm weather (HA HA HA!!!???) so that I can test how cold i really feel.... so if come june...on a hot day (???) I am not comfy wearing the kind of summer clothes i used to wear... and i am still putting on 2 pairs of socks every evening....and my nose is still cold.... then i will book the test...as i feel scared to do it incase it shows up fine...as i am so desparate to feel alive again...that to be told 'you are fine' is not what i want to hear... no...I know it's daft to want to be ill... but i hate how i feel...and am so fed up of living in hibernation. I have even stopped walking the boys to school now....I get my shopping delivered by tesco...used to wander round town twice a week for approx 3 hours each time....now maybe 1 hour per month.

And totally wrongly i know...the only way i can stop yawning all day is to sneak a couple of toms ADHD tablets. If i take them at 10am...I am 'alive' till 12 midnight...then i seem to actually sleep fairly solidly from 1-6...which means sometimes i am alive the next day!

what i do about this i don't know...as i don't want to risk toms tabs being stopped cos i am abusing them... however ... the psychiatrist has been happily prescribing me antidepressants etc for 9 years... maybe he'd agree that i could try an 'official guilt free trial' of concerta/ritalin etc.
I am curious as to whether its just the 'being awke' that the tabs help...or whether it is alao (as i suspect) that I do have ADHD symptoms...so the tabs help that too. I am tempted to buy some pro-plus (caffeine) to see if i am then still alert all day...but not 'focussed' then i will now that the adhd tabs are not just keeping me awake...but helping mw be less distracted and more focussed.

OK... so there you go.... a typically SHORT post from me!

I feel better for typing all this. maybe i should print it off and hand it to the psychiatrist.

Mrs F im so glad you have posted as i was getting worried about you.

Sorry that you are having a hard time atm.

I understand totally the not wanting to go out anywhere, i get my shopping delivered too.

I have put on a lot of weight since being on the AD,s and im convinced its because of them, i "dont care" about what i eat so i eat everything
I am slowly weaning my self off them, i have to take dd to nursery every morning and i felt like keeping her at home today.

I too am having blood tests next week as i have struggled with weight/ill health for years and the GP wants to test for everything, she also mentioned thyroid, dont know much about that so will have to look it up.

Are you getting any crafting done?

I find thats the only thing that gives me any pleasure these days!!!!!

Thanks Jenks... yes am still making cards...but unfortunately this seems to be causing me more stress than fun as my OCD has taken over my creativity...meaning that I am looking for perfection constantly- and throw away anything 'not right'...consequently \i take days to make 1 card...and when i am sure anyone else would say it's finished...i still carry on... sometimes it ends up ruined... but i have got to the point where i cannot throw it away as i feel then i have wasted the 3 days it has taken to get that far. Then cos most cards i make are 3d... i have to make a suitable box... and again...has to be perfect etc....so last week it took me 3 hours to make a box for 1 card.

I just feel miserable... as what seemed the answer to my mental health probs...ie a relaxing hobby...has like everything I do turned into another obsession which has no fun. It's like my garden... i love growing flowers... yet as the seeds grow i get very agitated if they don't grow 'right'...and frequently move and replant those which don't seem 'right'...and another thing is my pots of plants outside my back door...i have 7 ceramic pots...and i cannot get them arranged 'right' at the moment...so keep moving them- rearranging them...consequently have cracked 2...and everytime i walk past them i evaluate whether they look ok...yet if i were looking at a magazine picture of my pots ....like in a gardening magazine...i'm sure i'd feel ok...but in real life...i have to keep trying to get it right.

And like a magazine picture appears ok to me... i have recently been taking photos of dilemas i have...like the pots...cards i have made...the clutter in my kitchen etc....then i view the photos on the computer....as if to see what it really looks like....or how others see it....this i am told is an extension of the OCD habit to check everything i do...and as i am unable to seek reasssurance from my husband (as he finds my behaviour frustrating)- that this taking photos has provided a fix. He cannot understand why i have at times positioned the kettle in maybe 5 or 6 places over a week or 2...he would put it in 1 place for 50yrs....he cannot see why i am driven to keep rearranging everything...seek the 'perfect solution' etc...so he gets cross. as whilst i'm doing all this OCD stuff... i am not doing anything that really needs doing... so come 7pm...he walks in from work ...and finds the kids are all upstairs on playstations etc...not had their tea...i haven't even cooked anything...the washing up from last night is still there...and i have no idea what the time is...but at least i have reorganised my garden pots. so really i do not hate him for not understanding...i am irritated by my ways too...

ok night night!

XXX

I got to say my dp says my middle name should be 'dilemma' with the amount I have every week, but you've beaten me hands down with all yours Love reading your threads, I hope to see more of them.

Can't believe I missed the Return of MrsF. :(

Sorry you're so stressed, MrsF - although I quite like the sound of a home internet cafe. Even better if it gets you back on here.

hi CT....yes..i have flitted back.

i feel like an ostrich at the mo...head stuck in the ground...feeling useless.

Tom is having a tough time at secondary...they keep changing his teachers...and after his tutor telling me she was amazed he wasn't statemented...or had use of a laptop...and promised to 'start the ball rolling'...she then told TOM (NOT Me!) that " You have no chance of being statemented,tom"....I am furious. not at what she said as much as that she said it to him!

we offered to provide a laptop- providing it is covered by school insurance...and they said that they'd not even allow us to send him in with one that was insured by us..let alone them...they said "if he truely needed a laptop...then THEY would provide it"...so he continues to struggle. he has all those ideas in his head- but cannot coordinate between his brain and hand to record it.

so i am now collecting 'evidence'....
photocopying his attempts to do school work

• and the many pages where an teaching assistant etc has had to draw a chart for him- or write out what he was supposed to have coppied off the whiteboard etc

keeping the remains of the pens and pencils etc he takes to school- then chews- right through case etc....shreds pencils into chunks of wood...comes home with bic biro ink everywhere- including his face.he chews everything that is in his pencilcase. I have to put at least 6 pencils and 6 pens in EVERYDAY to make shure he has one for each lesson. I sometimes wonder if part of the reason he writes so little is that he is chewing the pen- or eating the pencil (he actually chews the whole pencil- not just the end as many kids do). Then on a friday i empty his main bag out and thats where i find snapped pieces of pencils and the plastic casings of pens.
The worst day was when he had used one of the bic biro pen cases to dig through his sweatshirt into his arm- it was sharp enough to draw blood. The sweatshirt has a hole- which i photographed-

basically agian i have to dilema of the 'medicated' calm quiet tom who is 'stimming' constantly- BUT cos he doesn't harm anyone else- and achieves 'good enough' in his studies...they won't consider statementing.
yet his 'friend' who is very disruptive- has a laptop and 1:1 TA...and as tom sees it he 'doesn't deserve it cos he keeps hitting the TA and trashing the computer'...i have tried explaining to tom that this lad 'needs' that support ...but he just feels uncared for.

My last thread might sound like I'm making light of your difficulties, I didn't mean it to come across like that. As a child my family used to say 'think first speak later', and I think that still applies for me today.

I do hope you can find some sort of solution for Tom, a laptop sounds a fab idea. If it'll help his school work [and his clothes!] and in turn is likely to give him more confidence, then why should they dismiss the idea so quickly?

That sounds bloody awful, MrsF! Why on earth did the teacher think it was appropriate to talk to a 12yr-old about whether or not he would be statemented?? In any case she doesn't have the authority or the expertise to make that decision! Grrr!

The laptop sounds like an excellent idea. I can't understand why the school is so against it. Good on you for keeping records/evidence. From the sounds of things it might be worth copying the sample letter on the IPSEA site and requesting a statement yourself. Probably more stress that you don't need though, eh? :(

yes...CT YOU always understand my name changes!!!!! (i was going to choose Mrs Frustrated...but realised that would give everyone the wrong idea!!!)

ROFL! :o
A name worthy of any thread in the Relationships topic....

:o