Autism experience please for our 19 month old!

[looseleaf]

Hi
I've been meaning to ring our health visitor and keep not managing to but am feeling mildly uneasy about DS and wondering whether he might have autism (perhaps mild as some behaviour suggests he doesn't?) as whilst he points things out to me well (and checks I'm listening) he has many signs that suggest autism but I have no experience of it and DH says there's no way a possibility of it!
DS is so keen to learn everything and his vocab is huge for his age- says hundreds of words including antlers, plunger, train track, sherry! and knows most of the alphabet &numbers 1-10 for example as well as some countries on maps - just odd stuff really for his age but he points all the time to ask what everything is. Dd at this age was so different, so easy to manage emotionally but DS is very oversensitive to things and hard to manage as gets upset easily and a hug won't help him in the way DD has always found they do...
DD gravitaoted towards people even this early and DS seems VERY attached to his sister and certainly likes certain people but I just find he's a bit more detached whilst at the same time hugely clingy to me - not sure I'm making any sense.
If anyone has any response if be grateful, people were great on the gifted board but suggested I'd be better asking here. Thank you all so much as I feel quite uneasy and maybe we'll need extra advice or I'll just be braver about ringing a health visitor!

He also gets very upset if anyone sings (might just be our lack of musical ability!!) and shakes his head saying 'no, no'. Or will flip out very quickly if I'm holding him on a short bus journey even with his favourite books

There's nothing really in your OP that is real pointer for me, can you tell us what is making you think ASD, other than he is different to your daughter.

Like BuskersDog there is nothing that immediately suggests ASD from what you have said. He just sounds like a bright, sensitive boy.

Does he flap / twirl his hands? Does he rock and hum? Does he bang his head? What is his eye contact like?

DS is 14 so trying to remember back that far is quite hard.

Thank you. He does twirl his hands a lot when concentrating, maybe flapping different. I don't know why I feel uneasy but he's just so untactile after Dd and definitely less eye contact and 'warmth' if that makes sense. Maybe As you say he is just bright and sensitive/ a bit eccentric and I'm just unfamiliar after DD who was so different? He has strong obsessions eg with clocks ! Thank you for your replies

Have you looked at the CHAT test?

It is pretty much what the paed went through with us - that said DD scored as ASD on it when she was 2.2 and I was very worried - she has now grown out of a lot of the things that gave me cause for concern - however as she has a sibling with a diagnosis they did want to do an early assessment.

The 'hating your singing' issue could be perfect pitch (think DD has this, apparently it's more common in non-NT families )

I think there's a broad hinterland of behaviours common to ASD and giftedness: probably with a common cause ie the huge discrepancies between abilities in various areas, none of which fit the chronological age.

Very confusing for a toddler (and their mum). Especially as lots of dc have both, and the resulting confusion makes it a PITA to get properly assessed and understood. The good news is that being smart, especially language-smart, carries big longterm prognostic advantages if asd turns out to be there too.

DS1 (smart but not genius ) does have ASD, and my friend's genius level-IQ non-ASD daughter was very like him as a toddler.

DS was very like this at 19 months. He regressed (lost much of his functional speech and just recited to himself) about 26 months and withdrew socially and was then diagnosed with ASD. Prior to this I had no concerns (he's my third boy) I just thought he was an absolute genius! There is no way it would have been diagnosed at 19 months as if anything he was ahead then. Looking back being more interested in letters and numbers and collecting nouns rather than playing with people was clearly an indicator. 18-24 months is the key time for signs to show for autism so I think you are very on the ball to even be alert to the possibility. It could though not be.

Would agree on the CHAT and keep going back to it every few months to look for changes. Try and get your DH to score it separately. DS started pushing other children away around 2 and then his regression started but new signs kept coming out until he was 3. eg he did not start lining things up until he was 2.5. He stopped pointing about 2.

You could ask to be referred to a paediatrician. Here there would be no chance of being diagnosed at 19 months but in other areas you are more likely to find someone able to diagnose younger.

I agree read up on methods such as Hanen (more than words) and ABA / Early Denver / Floortime and work particularly on social interaction. Educational interventions for autism are not harmful. At 19 months it would really just be play therapy and the worse than can happen is you spend time doing therapy he turns out not to need. We have done ABA since just before DS was 3 and although his autism turned out to be quite severe he has made good progress. His IQ is normal and he is in mainstream with support. You might also want to read up about sensory issues and think about whether some of the behaviour could be sensory or what is triggering him getting upset. Perhaps write down what happens before and after and if there is pattern. DS preferred to be on his own if he got upset and was happiest if I just put him in the buggy or on the sofa with a blanket to hide under rather than me giving him a hug. He now likes hugs all the time. Preparing him for what is going to happen next eg showing a picture and giving a warning might make him less anxious.

Be prepared to be dismissed by HV or GP and to have to be insistent. There is lots of evidence to show parents whose children were found to have ASD were turned away initially. I was told DS was just stubborn. Trust your instincts, if you are wrong then it will be a relief. If you are right then at least you know you did everything you could for him.

I love the M-CHAT. Really helps to pinpoint what to be concerned about, and what not to be concerned about. DD may be on the spectrum, and is very bothered about other people singing especially DH who is a professional musician but has shitty pitch. She does have perfect pitch so far as we can tell though (will scream until theme tunes are played on the piano at the right pitch). We've been desensitising her to pitch shifts using a cheapo keyboard that has a pitch shift wheel and a set of nursery rhymes on it. Seems to be doing the trick, she's singing much more in school now and not smacking people in the mouth screaming 'no no no' when they sing badly

This is all so helpful thank you so much. I tried CHAT and about half of the answers suggested a concern and it's so helpful I can now read on the methods you suggest to know about in case my concern continues. I just want to do my best for DS and sometimes don't know what he needs