So angry and confused after parents evening.

[Marne]

Dd2 is almost 7 and has ASD, we have been having a few issues with the school since this new teacher started and a few weeks ago dd2 was refusing to go to school (she's now going but is still very anxious). Her last parents evening (with the old teacher) was brilliant, was told that there are times where they forget she has ASD as she takes part in everything, talks to the other children and completes her work.

We have just had parents evening with the new teacher (who is now leaving in April) and have been told that dd2 is stuburn, always wants her own way and needs to be taught she cant. Dd2 refused to go into the hall this morning so the teacher shouted at her to eaither go in the hall or she will be made to sit still on the chair until the others returned. She said DD2 should have to do the same as the other children and neads to learn that she can not refuse.

Was also told that dd2 does not interact with the other children, and was told that her work was hard to mark as it did not make sence, the only time dd2 makes eye contact is whilst doing phonics or Gym.

The teacher admited that she has no clue about ASD, she said she does not understand why dd2 is like she is but if she was her child she would not give her the option of saying 'no' to things and would make her do as she's told.

She then said that whilst she was dicaplining 2 of the boys and shouting at them Dd2 was laughing and didn't seem to understand the teacher was angry (i explained that children with ASD dont always understand emotions) she then said how hard it makes her job and how she cant let dd2 get away with things that the others can not.

I dont know what to think, i am angry and i feel like she thinks we are useless parents, we try so hard with Dd2, she can be stuburn and she is very clever when it comes to getting her own way but she also has lots of sensory issues and struggles with being in the hall due to the sound and she struggles with her understanding. I am angry that the school let someone with no ASD training, no expereance of ASD teach my dd2 when her statement says 'staff should be trained or have expereance of ASD'. I feel like everything we have done for dd2 over the past 2 years has been undone, she no longer has friends asking her to party's or for playdates, she doesnt talk about school, she cry's in the mornings and she comes out of school crying.

This teacher is leaving in April and she will be replaced with another, the school are putting more in place and she will be introduced to dd2 before she starts and given lots of info. This will be the 5th teacher since september .

This is the 2nd school dd2 has been too, we have visited the local sn school but its not suitable as dd2 has no learning difficulties as such, there are no other sn schools in the area and i dont think she could cope with another move to yet another ms school.

Do we wait and see what the new teacher is like?

Have we given in too much with her (been to soft), should she be foreced to take part in everything the other children do?

I am now questioning everything we have done with her thanks to this teacher looking down her nose at us.

You need to go to the school and speak to the SENCO and find out exactly what training they are putting in place to ensure that ALL staff that teach your DD are properly informed. You make a formal complaint about the issue that have happened as a direct result of this teacher not understanding her behaviour and point out how she is adding fuel to the fire with her attitude and response to your DD when issues happen. Depending how your daughters statement is worded you can make an official complaint to the LA if the provision contained in it is not being provided as ultimately it is their responsibility to ensure that it is delivered. You give them 7 days notice to implement it properly and threaten a judicial review if necessary.

Trust your instincts - you know your child so much better than any teacher who has a class of 30 children to deal with. If you think there may be better ways of helping her then take advice from ASD trained professionals, not a teacher who thinks round pegs will be made to fit into square holes if you push hard enough. Ultimately she will break the peg and that is going to help no-one.

Marne, you should not feel bad about you're parenting.this teacher sounds awful! You daughter has SEN , she is there to meet the needs of all the children in her care and she is failing you're daughter. She may need to follow the plan of the day, but she should be prepared not punished or forced to go along and the teacher should know this. It's so upsetting when all our work gets ruined by some ignorant woman, I would be fuming too.

Perhaps wait and see what the new one is like, but it seems like an excessive amount of change in less than 6 months. Put you're feelings in writing to the school, they will find it harder to ignore you then.

How awful. That teacher has basically made no allowances whatsoever for your DD's ASD and it warrants a serious complaint.

You are not useless parents, she is a useless teacher when it comes to your DD.

Thank you, i will try and get a meeting with SENCO ASAP, she's not great though . I will read through the statement tomorrow and see how its worded about staff training. The teacher said she has never had anything to do with statements as she has only worked with reception children and never had a child in her class with a statement. She asked me 'what would i like put on the IEP?' as its due soon (surely its her job?). Her attitude towards dd2 stinks, she seems to think if she's in MS then she should behave like all the other children and do as she's told.

She also said Dd2 needs to learn life skills not academic skills, this made me so angry as she was implying that dd2 would never amount to anything. Dd2 already has life skills, i spend all my spare time teaching her life skills and she can do a lot more than a lot of 7 year olds, she is entitled to a education, she is bright and working at the same level as most 7 year olds and higher in some areas (or she was until she started teaching her).

It is shocking how ignorant teaching professionals can be, but sadly understandable given that, unless you have trained in SEN, there is simply not enough proper training or information available in education courses to prepare staff.
You definitely need to explain to the SENCO and Head Teacher what happened and what was said. Your DD deserves support and encouragement, not this ridiculous, ill-informed attitude. The teacher also deserves to be properly informed so that she can avoid similar mistakes in future and hopefully take the newfound understanding into the new school!

The child with ASD should never have been abandoned unsupported in the class of the shte supply teacher with no SEN skills (and without the brains to google, ask the senco, or f**ing well use some common sense).

5th teacher since September? Formal complaint to the governors: there's no way anyone can have made reasonable adjustments for ASD by allowing that much staff churn, and even worse that no alternative support was arranged.

Perhaps the SENCO is good, but if she is, then she's clearly not listened to by the senior management team, nor by the classroom teachers. And so she may as well stop at home this year, she's doing nothing useful for your DD at work.

Sorry to vent to this extent: I have my many moments with DS's school but this really is shockingly bad

There one redeeming feature is that they're giving this woman the push now.

Apparently they have been trying to get rid of her for a while ( so a ex governor tells me). I just feel so sorry for dd2 as the longer this woman is there the more damage is being done and the more dd2 is shutting down, the next 4 weeks are going to go very slow for all of us, I just hope the person who is replacing her is a lot better.

I am spending this week making more time tables for dd2, more reward systems and more social stories, all things that the school should be doing but they havn't.

It is an option (depending on how things really are) to either flexi-school or home educate until such a time as the school has the appropriate tools, training and staff in place to educate your child. As the daughter of a teacher I used to be full on about 100% attendance, but not when it's actively damaging a child, or worse causing them to regress. 4 weeks until a new teacher arrives at home isn't that long in the grand scheme of things and would give your daughter a chance to recover and regain her joy of learning with you.

Deffo put your concerns in writing to the HT, Governors and LA. If there's a VERY expensive independent placement that could be offered as alternative placement then it might be worth mentioning it in the letter. The fear of spending cash seems to jolt many an LA into action .

So yesterday teacher said 'dd2 gets upset 20 minutes before home time and starts asking to go home, theres no way she's leaving early and has to learn to wait' so today they bring her out early as TA has to leave early, so they have just undone everything they have been trying to re-enforce with her and tomorrow she will think she can leave early because she did it today.

I told her other TA that i was making a timetable with velcro so it can be changed each day rather then them having to print one out to give me, she tells me 'they already have one' so why the hell are they not using it, why have i never seen it when i have gone in the classroom with dd2?

Dd2 refused to go to church this morning, so TA took her into the compter room to use the computer, teacher told me that dd2 should not be given a fun activity to do if she opts out of something (so either TA has got her own way or the teacher has changed her mind), i can see why dd2 is confused, im bloody confused.

I really feel for you marne, it is a ridiculous situation. Either they need to stick to the rules or not.

This is exactly the kind of thing that sends Dd3 into meltdown.

The teacher sounds awful and shouldnt even be teaching, what an admission to make that she has no clue about Asd, that alone is enough for a complaint. Any teacher with a child with sn's in their class surely has a responsibilty to learn about what the child needs in order to succeed. It is a disgrace and she should be ashamed of herself.

I have heard a teacher say something similar before, she told me that she had never come across a child with aspergers during her 11 yr teaching career and yet my friends son had been right through the school and she had almost certainly taught him at some point. I was so gobsmacked at the time I didnt say anything but the TA who was standing next to me was horrified as she had not only not aknowledged that she had taught my Dd3 but that she had completely missed this other child.

Just out of interest does your Dd have a passport or a one page profile? They can be a really effective way of sharing info about children especially during staffing issues. The only draw back I have found to them is that the teacher has to pick it up and read it, which some find tricky

I think I would be making a written complaint and having a meeting with the HT and the SENCO.

Hope you manage to get sorted.

you must be furious - I'm so cross for you
We had this all the way through with ds1. It's horrible.
But you know this teacher looking down her nose at you is a crap teacher and an ignorant one at that.
What's the Head like? When we had similar issues with ds1 we found that going straight to the Head got the situation resolved most quickly.

She doesn't have a passport, we had one made for nursery but hadnt needed one up until now. The school was great when we were moving the dd's, arrange lots of taster days, lots of meeting and her teacher last year was lovely, dd2 was so happy that her ASD was almost un-noticable in class, i am so angry that this teacher has caused dd2 to go back 2 years to the dd2 we had at the other school.

I was speaking to a friend in the playground and she said this teacher had taught one of her family members who has ASD (funny that, as she told me she had never taught a child with ASD) apparently she told the boys parents that there was nothing wrong with him and he was just naughty.

I feel sorry for whats ever school this woman goes to next .

You are doing fine
The teacher is shitola
Simples

Horrid though... We had a couple of ' write off' years at primary
Will keep things crossed for you that the new teacher in a few weeks time is much better.

I felt like we had taken a massive step back with Dd3 from september-january after a teacher who lacks awareness was not supporting her very well and then she was very low and was ill for 2 weeks.

However with some additional support and me speaking to the HT a couple of times we are back on track now.

If the fabric of the school is good she will pick up again but you do need to stay on top of it while they have these staffing issues.

Good luck

Hope you can get things sorted out properly, sounds horrendous. Lack of sensitivity and attention to individual children's needs can send a class full of perfectly normal children crazy at that age, let alone failing to acknowledge problems that are known and understood ...

I'm reminded of what happened to my mother when I started school (long time ago now, and in a different country). My preschool had sent a detailed report to the school, accompanying a medical report, explaining what I could and couldn't do, as I had been profoundly deaf prior to surgery for glue ear 6 months earlier, and was just starting to speak, also had related problems with balance; but was bright and had a very long attention span. The headmistress had met with us and I was starting with the first reception intake instead of a month or two later (age staggered starts). However, over the summer holidays she got moved and a new head was appointed. Who insisted she never read reports on children because they wanted to start with a clean slate or something. And I was privileged since we spoke English (high immigrant population). In the end my parents were able to move me after 2 years (and they didn't want my younger sister to have to attend that school too!!).

I think you need to raise concerns so that the school know there is a problem and have the opportunity to put it right for next time.

I suspect the last teacher probably oversold everything and probably did not do as good a job as claimed - we have teachers like this they are well intentioned and say everything is wonderful but as far ds is concerned they are chocolate teapots.

If the level of support / expertise is not enough the school need to ask for more funds to release the teacher for training and support / supervision e.g. with local ASD school / unit / SS coming in weekly. You need to make it clear that a one day course is not enough you need staff who have ongoing support and supervision from an ASD specialist. This will also provide some continuity for your DD as someone will be overseeing her intervention.

While this is not standard I think a tribunal would see this as a reasonable necessary step for your DD to be in mainstream, which she has a legal right to be. There are LAs who provide weekly outreach visits to support children in school and you should push to get this written into the statement.

Our LA told our tribunal when we raised inadequate support for ds at nursery the outreach team could come every day if necessary which was total b***ks but shows LAs are reluctant to admit to only half termly or termly visits.

By raising concerns with school you are also creating an audit trail for any future tribunal - I am not sure I would make it a formal complaint but I would make it clear I intended to raise it with the LA and get the statement changed to ensure (a) some specialist support came into school very regularly and (b) the teacher was covered when the specialist came in so could come out of class to do some 1:1 work with your DD and training / planning.

You could also ask for TA time to make materials etc.

To be fair we have this issue going on too - we have ABA support and we need the teacher to do more personally rather than just leave it all to the 1:1 - but getting the teacher to find any time for training or even planning and discussion with ABA staff is almost impossible and I am about to put my foot down!

While this teacher does sound awful it is part of the system which pretends teachers know how to teach children with all SEN even though their training covers SEN in 1 day, and that they have any time to spend with individual children - which they really don't unless the HT timetables to allow it or they take work home with them and do it in their own time for free.

The school have said that their will bne a meeting to discus dd2 with the new teacher before she starts and she will meet dd2 before April (just hope they stick to this), i think they realise they have messed up. This teacher has been at the school for a log time but has only teacher Reception children, she took a year off last year due to being very ill and returned after christmas (probably to secure her pay for the year), it was obvious from the start that she did not want to teach year 2's. I think both her and the school were a bit stuck as they could not sack her after she had been on sick pay but all they had on offer was year 2, she could not leave as this would mean not getting payed (so she had to wait before handing in her notice). It has messed up the whole year group and all the parents are angry with the way the school has delt with it.

It is the heads job to make sure teachers have the correct training and information to teach the children in their care, so i am very angry that this has been allowed to happen, i do hope a lesson has been learnt and they dont let this happen again. If in April i find out things have not been put in to place and the new teacher has no expereance of ASD then i will have no choice but to remove dd2, her happieness has to come first and at the moment she is not happy.

SENCO has just called me, OT have sugested the school phone outreach to ask for advice but SENCO insists Dd2 is now ok and they are putting everything into place to help her, she said they will phone outreach in April (when new teacher starts) if dd2 becomes unsettled again. The new teacher is visiting the class today and will spend some time with dd2.

I told the SENCO that 'i was not happy with the attitude of the teacher when we spoke at parents evening and if she wasn't leaving i would have been making a complaint to LEA' she didn't stick up for the teacher at all and implied that she agreed that it was the teacher that had caused the upset. She said they were doing all they can to make sure something like this does not happen again and she believes that dd2 will be a lot more settled when the new teacher starts.

I guess all we can do is wait until April?

Sounds like school are tacitly agreeing that teacher is rubbish

It does doesn't it? No one has stuck up for this teacher and they seem pleased she is leaving, I have heard a lot of stories about her this week (parents complaining about her and a similar issue with another child with sn's). I can wait for her to go, although it means more change for dd2 but its a good change and hopefully it will run smoothly.