Hello, and... help?

[Spoonful]

Hi, I am new to special needs, I just wanted some advice about what I ought to be doing to help my daughter.

Since she started going out to childcare she's obviously had some sort of non-defined problem with processing language and socialising.

Her pre school mentioned it, her nursery, and her reception teacher.

Her pre school started some plan to help her to socialise but only six weeks before she left, her nursery wanted to use a wait and see approach to find out if she would just mature out of it, and her school has put her into a social group on Wednesday afternoons where she will be taught skills. But the group has a very wide ranging purpose, it is for children going through problems (parents divorces etc.

Sorry posted too soon...

) and the group is for a wide age range. I am pleased they have offered this, but I feel like I have been putting my head in the sand for too long and wishing that the problem will go away. I don't know if the group is enough.

I went to the doctor last week and he said to remember there was a normal range of skills etc. and to keep an eye on it, but I am worried about her. She has no friends, she plays quietly by herself and doesn't cause any bother, but she isn't happy and I don't want yo let it drift any longer if there is something that could be done now to help.

I really don't know who I ought to be talking to or what I should be pushing for.

She is normally bright I would say, she talks to me and her family- no siblings. She did talk to adults at pre school and her key worker at nursery but now at primary she doesn't talk to the teacher. She only talks to children that she knows very well and if I am honest I do have to facilitate that a bit and make her reply or respond.

She takes a long long long time to think about her answer if you ask her something. I think her key worker at nursery was more patient with this than her current teacher, so that's why she isn't talking to the teacher now, but that is just a guess.

She is a loving and funny girl. She wants to do things with children but she doesn't seem to know how and they think she is odd. She puts her face right up close to theirs and runs around them but she won't say anything, and can't seem to 'play'.

Sorry, huge essay. I am trying to get it all down! She is 4.5.

Where do I need to go from here? I would appreciate any advice at all!

There are other things. She isn't toilet trained yet. She can't walk down stairs yet. She can't do jigsaw puzzles or hold a crayon or pencil well. Can't kick or catch a ball. Always hurting herself.
People keep saying it is within the range of normality, but I just feel like there is something that needs to be addressed, checked. I don't know. I feel so sad for her because I know she finds things very hard, and I feel bad that I have let it slide for so long. :(

Hi spoonful and welcome to the board

If younare worried about her language/communication you need to get her assessed byna Speech and Language Therapist (SALT).

Sometimes you can refer yourself or school can do it for you, or your GP.

If you have other concerns about her development you need a referral to a developmental paediatrician, your GP can do that too.

Make some notes about what is worrying you and keep coming on here for support.

Good luck

Sorry cross posted. You are entitled to a second opinion, GP's are not specialist. Go back tonyour GP with your list of concerns and assertively tell him you want a referral.

Welcome to the SN world where sadly you have to stand firm with professionals to get the right support for your child.

Good luck

Ok, a developmental paed and a SALT is what I probably need to be asking for.
Thanks for replying. I do feel like I don't know where to begin and when everyone else seems to want to wait, it's easy to say Ok, they know what they're talking about, but I don't think waiting is the best way any more.

To be honest from your list it does sound like there is a delay in a number of areas.
Make an appt with the gp and then go in with the quiet resolve that you will not leave until he or she agrees to refer to a developmental or community paediatrician and a speech therapist. Don't take your daughter with you - or have her wait outside with your mum or a friend so you can talk freely.

It helps if you can get school on side. Make an appt with the teacher and the SENCO and ask them to tell if they have concerns about her progress. Ask them if they have set up an individual education plan with realistic targets

And keep posting on here - I learnt so much in the early days.

To be honest from your list it does sound like there is a delay in a number of areas.
Make an appt with the gp and then go in with the quiet resolve that you will not leave until he or she agrees to refer to a developmental or community paediatrician and a speech therapist. Don't take your daughter with you - or have her wait outside with your mum or a friend so you can talk freely.

It helps if you can get school on side. Make an appt with the teacher and the SENCO and ask them to tell if they have concerns about her progress. Ask them if they have set up an individual education plan with realistic targets

And keep posting on here - I learnt so much in the early days.

Most SLT services have open access 'triage' sessions either at the main department or in one of the area children's centres.

1. get her hearing checked- it might turn out that she has hearing problems and that is causing her social issues
2. get assessment with paed, SLT and OT ( occupational therapist) . If you can afford it, go private as the waiting time on NHS can be anything from 3 months to a year
3. start a diary where you write all you concerns/ observations and show it to the helth professionals

Good luck ;)

I do feel like there is a delay yes.

If there is a huge waiting list to see people in our area on the NHS, is there somewhere I can be looking on how to find someone private? Or would the GP be the best person to do that?

What will an occupational therapist do?

If your GP won't listen to you and give you referrals for OT, Salt and paedetrician, the private reports can prove him there are things that need addressing. But also they will give you programme to do with her - that is very important. The wait for NHS people can be very long and the assessments and therapies can be quite poor, compared to private.

OT would look at her gross motor and fine motor skills and sensory issues, posture, balance... Look for OT who can do the SIPT test with sensory processing disorder experience. There are lots of exercises she can show do you to do, but for now the important thing is to identify the problem areas.

This is all absolutely invaluable. Thanks everyone.

You can either google for private people or say the area and ask for recommendations here.

I'm in the North West if anyone knows anyone good.

For speech and language I might be able to use a walk-in service? OK, I'll Google for that.

I think it's better if you open another threat for recommendations.
Good luck with everything, it is a lot to take in.

I agree with babiki, if you ask specific questions on the thread you will get people with great knowledge to help you.

There are many private SALT's around the country who work with children, the same with OT's.

You can either ask on here or google.

Good luck

Sorry meant to say, if you ask specific questions on a new thread

Thanks. I will speak to school and then to the doctor again and see where we are, then come back for more specific advice. :)

If you are in halton am pretty sure they have drop in salt sessions.

I agree that a v good idea to get hearing checked and screen for glue ear as that affects balance, speech and social skills. It's an easy one to rule out as well.

I agree that a v good idea to get hearing checked and screen for glue ear as that affects balance, speech and social skills. It's an easy one to rule out as well.

I agree that a v good idea to get hearing checked and screen for glue ear as that affects balance, speech and social skills. It's an easy one to rule out as well.