help - any ideas what could be wrong

[soupdragonpeasoup]

My ds now 7 and in year two was graded at 1a- in maths and literacy at beginning of December and 1a for reading. he has made 1 sub level improvement since Sep. The teachers feel he is not understanding multiple instructions / understanding his work. they also feel he has communication and bonding issues. I do not see this at home. he is happy and bright and has a small circle of friends who come for tea, etc. he does dislike noisy kids and there are a few in his year. he was late talking and we took him to speech therapist. His speech now okay but still seeing therapist for pragmatics. the school sending infrequent mixed messages and i only getffeedback when i push for it. they have said he is not making the academic progress they expect.and think we need assessment . i thought 2 sub level s per year was expected. i am so confused and now extremely worried. anyone hadssimilar experience / any advice. Ds enjoys going to taekwando and stagecoach and not at all bothered about change. He is outdoors type, sporty and very good with motor skills

Just a bit of a bump for you, I've not not any experience in this area.
My only suggestion is to speak to your ds' speech and language therapist I guess they'll be the best person to ask first.

I guess they aren't so worried by his general academic ability, but that he seems to have some specific problems (compared to his peers) around understanding instructions and communication/social skills. If he is still being helped by SALT with pragmatics, that would tend to back this up? I would agree that he seems to be making progress academically, but in Y2 the work is very concrete (as opposed to abstract) and may appeal to your DS's strengths.

I would want another chat with the school about whether they feel his progress seems slower than his ability would warrant. What are they planning on doing to support him? His difficulties sound quite subtle. An assessment by an EP could be really useful in highlighting his strengths and weaknesses and suggesting ways in which to improve his weaknesses to the school. I think you need to tell school that you are confused by their mixed messages and want some clarity so you can all be singing from the same hymnsheet.

If they are telling you to get assessment, ask lots of questions first.

If they are offering to get assessments - bite their hand off!! Even if it shows no concern, you know.

How does your DS get on at Taekwando and Stagecoach? Do you know if he has any difficulties with instructions and communication in these settings?

Thanks for all your replies. my Ds loves going to taekwando and stagecoach - he really enjoys the activities and i have good feedback from both. school want me to sign a form and state that i am concerned about his academic progress and that i want the school to peruse an assessment - i am thinking of seeing a private educational psychologist and am going to demand to see my ds's records from the school. his iep has never mentioned academic ability or targets. I am really confused

Hi it is a state school - i am confused as to why they want it to look like my request not theirs. Why was private educational psychologist a waste of money - i was told they highlight strengths and weaknesses and possible reasons for anything found as well as recommendations!

I think you're perhaps getting a bit confused. School aren't allowed to involve the Ed Psych without your permission. All they're asking for is that you sign a form to say that you are happy for school to pursue assessment.

Bite their hands off, be grateful that they are willing to use one of their allocations on your DS. If it shows no issues, well and good.

So many parents here have to fight simply to get school to recognise a subtle issue as you describe -I've just moved my DD2 because I could see that her old school was never going to realise she was struggling.

Do you think they suspect asd?

They were convinred that he hated change until the beginning of this year even though they had no evidence and even though i repeatedly told them as Did childminder - eventually they told me that they had no concerns - i don't know what they are looking for and am frightened of Ds being labelled and treat differently to other kids which will do nothing for his confidence

I think they may suspect ASD, but schools aren't very knowledgeable about it and teachers or EPs cannot diagnose (DX) ASD. It would take a multidisciplinary team including either a developmental paediatrician or a clinical psychologist many months to come to that conclusion. He won't just get labelled and written off. It's difficult to get a DX, and if your DS does have ASD, a DX will be very useful. If he doesn't have ASD, he's very, very unlikely to be DXed with it.

I would leap at the chance of an assessment at this stage. The recommendations advised by the EP may be all your DS needs to progress, but if, as time goes by, his difficulties become more apparent, you may decide to pursue a medical DX. If your DS does start to struggle more at school, the move to juniors can be quite tricky and the move to secondary very tricky! Better to get some interventions in place now which may help him to negotiate these changes.

Personally, I prefer my DS2 to be correctly 'labelled' as having ASD than incorrectly labelled as lazy, naughty or slow.

Thanks - i know they mentioned having advice about mind maps - are there different levels of assessment? can the school just take advice on strategies or do they need to have a full assessment

They can take non-specific advice on how to help a DC with communication and interaction difficulties, but that may be entirely inappropriate for your DS. Much better to have him assessed and advice given tailored to his specific strengths and weaknesses.

Thanks i will ask more after half term. if the form is signed and submitted does it definitely mean an assessment will be carried out - sounds from what i have read it is not a guarantee of getting one done?

One thing to keep in mind is that a lot of children present differently in different settings.

Both my boys are under assessment and the information given by their school/playschool describes a different child than at home or in other group situations.

Luckily ds1's multidisciplinary team see this as understandable and common but ds2 has lost out on some support as his playschool don't see the issues we do. I'm hoping when he joins ds1's school in September they'll be able to provide a better assessment as for all their faults they are quite good at picking up on subtle behaviour. They spotted ds1's perfectionism which is heavily masked by other behaviours.

EPs are like hen's teeth! At the school I work in it took months to get the EP to assess a DC who had what sounds like much more severe problems than your DC. Hope everything goes well. It's a horrible feeling when you think there may be something 'wrong' with your DC. We do understand. But, I think we have been trying you to get you to see that getting him assessed will help him, not hinder him.

Sorry if i sound naive but are you going through an assessment or had it completed - has it been a positive thing for your Ds?

Thanks for all your replies - you have really helped me - think i am in the shock stage as school not been liaising with me and it has knocked us. Ds enjoys all the online echo learning sites and seems to pick this up really well. i guess time will tell. thanks again x

Soup.... honestly, I get it. I never wanted ds1 assessed but was pshed into it as his school won't accomodate him without a diagnoses. It isn't nice thinking of there being something 'wrong' with your child, especially if you're coping fine at home. But if it will make his education proceed more smoothly then it can't be a bad thing.

ds2's psychologist said to me when i was discussing whether or not we should accept a place in a specialised language class for him if he's offered it: 'If he were my child I'd grab anything at all they offer you with both hands, so little is available that it would make no sense to reject an offer of help and possibly regret it down the line'

Hi soup. My DS2 is 13yo now and was DXed 10 years ago. But the grief and upset is still very fresh in my mind. Good luck with things and do stick around here, asking questions. MNSN is a wonderful resource and I wish I'd had it back then. X

Sounds very similar to dd1 7 years old no developmental issues very bright. In year 2 diagnosed with a problem with her 'working memory' ie she can remember perfectly facts, shopping lists etc but not list of instructions. Visual aids to instructions help and the situation can generally be improved. Grateful for provision of comprehensive psychological report and recommendations. Hope this helps.

Thanks - we are thinking of getting an assessment ourselves to understand strengths and weaknesses. good to hear things are better for your dd. i have just spoken and arranged with st to go into school again and observe and get a steer from them x