Way I'm I like this?!!!

[samira837]

Hi I have to boys DS1 4 years ASD DS2 3years old Glut1. My problem is that taking them out always makes ME stressed!!!! They love it but I can relax to enjoy it!!! DS1 have now started to talk more and understands everything I say he dos Exactly what a child in his age would be doing when out with there parents!!! But I think it's down to that he use to run off screm ect befor but its now been over 1 year ago that he did!!! Way can't I just trust him?! I even have ppl asking this?!!! Really makes me feel like a bad mum!!! DS2 needs more off my time as his balance is not the best but even there I can let go!!! Feel like I am holding them bk plz help!!! Have anyone els have/had this problem what do I do?!!!!

Hi yes my son is five and only just diagnosed with ASD. Last year was a nightmare with meltdowns, inability to wait, running off, you name it really. Due to lots of other things going on I have not been out with him much over the last few months, don't get me wrong we take him soft play, park and visit friends etc but he is so much better in his behaviour that I think we could start taking him out more and it wouldn't be so bad now. His anxiety levels have gone down a lot, but my anxiety levels are still sky high after the year I just had with him lol.

I know what u mean!! Today there is a activity thing going on that I'm taking them to!! Going to be lots of ppl there!! But this is a test for me!! Just going to trust him and let him play see what happens wish me luck!!!

I think it is natural to be stressed if you have had a bad time in the past. So don't beat yourself up about it. Take it gradually and the more successful outings you have the more you will be able to relax.
My Ds is 16 now AS and OCD there have been lots of different issues over the years but now going out with him is largely fine (apart from him saying he is bored if there has been no activity going on for more than 20 seconds!).
I am a lot more relaxed but still a bit wary. Unfortunately that's part of life with Dcs who have SNs/disabilities.

You are not doing anything wrong, it's a natural instinct to remember how hard it was before, maybe start off by taking shorter trips out, somewhere there is not too many people, my ds used to hate being around people, to the point where he would turn his back if anyone approached him or tried to talk to him, coffee shops were awful, if we were at a table and someone asked to share the the table, he would turn and face the wall, but as he got older he changed, social stories are fantastic in helping the kids understand peoples reactions and emotions and also understanding their own feelings..oops.. just realised you posted early today, how did the day pan out, hope everything went well

It's went really good lots off ppl but he loved it I even left him on the Bouncy castle for 3 min when I went to the toilet and guss what he was still there jumping with the others kids as soon as he sa me he smiled and waved!!! Just need to take small steps!!! On another note he is doing a lot of talking now but to be Honest just understand 70% of what he is saying( only started to say words last year) now he will com up to me and talk in sentence but I just get som words and guss the rest!! Hop I'm not doing this wrong have anyone had this with there kids?! Meeting the schools speech therapist next week

Aw he sounds like he is doing really well. I think it's when you've been humiliated regularly on a grand scale it gets to a point where you've had enough. One of my probs was that my son didn't have a diagnosis at that stage so I couldn't turn round to people and say he has autism. I haven't yet been in that situation where I have to now but not sure how I feel about doing that. If people are ignorant and give the judgemental stare I feel arsey. if people are nice and give the pity stare .... I feel arsey lol. Just takes time I guess.

That's great that the day went so well, little steps is right, it all takes time, can't advise you on the speech sorry.

Limbolil...I do say it to people now about ds but it took a long time for me to do so, ds knows he has aspergers and dyspraxia so sometimes he gets to say it before I do :)
I know soemone who has two autistic sons and she has tshirts and hoodies with "I have autism" printed on them. She puts them on the kids if they are going anywhere that may upset them and cause meltdowns. Not sure how I feel about that to be honest, but she finds it helps peoples attitudes.