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SN children

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Original poster

Problems with smearing

17 replies

Kikadee20001 · 15/02/2013 12:51

I'm really struggling to cope with my autistic son, he's 4 and his behaviour is really starting to get to me I have tried my hardest to deal with it but I'm just finding myself crying when he does something else that I have to deal with lately it's been spreading poo all over his bedroom I can't deal with it anymore I feel like I'm drowning :(

OP posts:

PolterGoose · 15/02/2013 13:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lougle · 15/02/2013 13:04

Sorry you're having a hard time. If he's 4, you should still be able to access Homestart or the Health Visitor. If you get DLA for him and you get carer's allowance, then you may find that you qualify for Tax Credits to pay up to 70% of childcare fees, and social/nursing care agencies qualify as 'registered childcare' so you could perhaps get a support worker to come for some hours?

sickofsocalledexperts · 15/02/2013 13:15

Poor poor you - I can remember feeling like you. I talked to a HV, who put me in touch with respite care. A lovely woman would turn up for 2 hours , twice a week, and I went off for a coffee. I can still remember the joy and relief at hearing her knock at the door.

Also, maybe look into ABA as a kind of therapy for him

And don't despair: my DSD used to poo-smear, yet last year she passed 13 GCSEs, 9 at A grade.

How your life is now may well change. 4 is a hard age for any child, and they do grow out of a lot of stuff.

StarlightMcKenzie · 15/02/2013 13:17

When was he Dx, and where about s roughly are you?

Bluebirdonmyshoulder · 15/02/2013 13:38

So sorry to hear you're struggling, I think anyone would.

No advice, just empathy and honks.

zzzzz · 15/02/2013 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isthatallyouvegot · 15/02/2013 14:34

Firstly I do not have experience of this but I hope this help, it refers more to night time smeering, but maybe you could get some kind of help from this.

www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour/behaviour-common-questions-answered/my-son-has-started-smearing.aspx

There can be a sensory motivation to smearing. It may be that the texture is something that your son enjoys. Could your son have something such as play dough in his room that he could be redirected to instead?

It may be that your son is bored and does not know what else to do in this time, especially if it when everyone else is in bed. If it is safe to leave your son in his room alone, could there be activities left in his room that he could be directed to at night? A particular box of activities could be left as activities to do at night.

It is also possible that the reaction your son gets from people when he smears is reinforcing the behaviour? If he gets a lot of attention and fuss made of him he may find this exciting. It would be worth using a behaviour diary to see how people react to him when he does this. If he gets a lot of attention, try and react to the behaviour as neutrally as possible, with no eye contact and very little conversation. This can also be coupled with a lot of attention being given when he does something positive.

It may be easier to try and make it harder for your son to be able to smear. There are all-in-one pyjamas and vests that are designed for children of a wide range of ages (for details please see 'useful contacts').

MNHQ

OliviaMumsnet · 15/02/2013 21:30

Hello OP
So sorry to read that you're struggling with this.
Your thread has no title - we will add one for you, so that people can see this.
Bumping for you
kindest

kyz1981 · 16/02/2013 09:04

Don't know if this helps, my DS 2.9 smears its a nightmare so I feel your pain, I watch him in the day and can prevent it from getting everywhere, but at night I have found Houdini Suits great for at night or when I am busy ( not sure if I am allowed to post where I buy them from on here but PM me if you want details), they basically prevent the child from getting to nappy's this has not cured his desire to smear but has stopped me being up with dettol/bleach changing everything at 3 am.

SallyBear · 16/02/2013 12:26

OP. we had this issue with our DS. I went to Racketys and bought popper vests. They weren't cheap at 7quid per vest, but they did the job and he stopped shoving his hand in his nappy and smearing.

moosemama · 16/02/2013 13:05

Kyz, you are fine to recommend products and point other mnetters to where they can buy them, you just can't advertise your own products.

OP, no experience personally, but I have a friend who went through similar when her ds (classic autism) was younger. As others have said, she really needed some respite and I think this was done via her HV in the first instance. She also got hold of some clothing that made it harder for him to gain access, as kyz and Sally have recommended.

Sorry I don't have anything useful to add, but sending you a big ((hug)).

kyz1981 · 16/02/2013 14:28

Thanks moosemama - OP the place I buy them from is fledglings www.fledglings.org.uk . They are great and I have purchased many things from them that have made my life so much easier.

moosemama · 16/02/2013 16:30

I can second fledglings and they are highly recommended by our local OT team as well.

jomaman · 16/02/2013 17:52

we have this problem too on and off. I second the advice above re checking for sensory issues and also zipping him into clothing at night.

If you have a friend or family member with sewing skills you can buy front zipping sleep suits (prim ark usually good for all ages) and sew up the front where the zip usually is, and cut a slit at the back for a new zip. My mum made half a dozen of these for ds1, and it works out cheaper. She put the zip on the outside so he can't feel it as much too.

Original poster

Kikadee20001 · 17/02/2013 17:09

Thank you everybody for the wonderful support and great advice I'm going to buy him some vests and onesies and see how that goes I also am looking at making his room more sensory so he doesn't get bored as much, it's been a lot easier to cope reading all these comments now I don't feel so alone so thank you everyone :)

OP posts:

FreshWest · 17/02/2013 21:49

Hi Kikadee
I can second third and fourth the recommendations on putting a vest with poppers or onesie on for bedtime. (Which I see you're going to do).
Dd did this for a while and I know the pain of having to strip beds in what seems like the middle of the night. In her case it was the fact that she didn't like the feel in her nappy not so much that she wanted to play with it iyswim.

In her case it would usually happen if she didn't go to sleep straight away and we knew she hadn't done a poo earlier. She would be leaping around, doing a poo and then getting it everywhere. Just to say that try as best you can to prevent him from doing it obviously, but also try and work out if there are times when he is more likely to do it and you can be mentally prepared!

emmetbrown · 17/02/2013 23:21

Something we also found useful is one of them all in one sunsuits with a zip up the back. In the summer they also look age appropriate. You get them in mothercare or Boots in the summer. I have popper vests too but they can be a bit 'loose'.
They are also great for swimming & don't make your child stand out as 'different'

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