I had a very subdued little boy this morning....worrying about finishing his work [sad]

[isthatallyouvegot]

My Ds came home from school yesterday very subdued, not his usual self at all. Only really smiled or laughed when we tried to cheer him up but this was short lived. He said he is worried what will happen to him if he doesn't manage to finish all of his work.....so gutted to see him like this, I am at a loss as to what to do....and this worrying is coming from a little boy who doesn't finish his work because he doesn't want to , why would he care if he really didn't want to do it or was just being stubborn? Just wanted to tell someone...nobody seems to want to listen to me, even his dad thinks he is just stubborn.

Ahhh that's not fair on him. Have you managed to book a slot with SENCo (and preferably CT too)?

When do you get your feedback (and hopefully dx) from CAMHs?

Hello Handy, I have contacted his CT just waiting for a confirmation email to confirm, hopefully it will be sometime today, because as it stands the information we have is what our Ds has told us not what has been said by the teacher. Then I will contact the SENCO, if I don't have proof I don't know how I can tackle it tbh (that sounds horrible doesn't it?).

Still waiting for feedback from CAMHS, I rang yesterday to ask how long until we have an appointnment and they couldn't give us a date but said they were just going through the system, so shouldn't be long.

Thank you Hothead I will take a look at the links later, just seems like its me that is taking these comments in and seeing the change in him and everyone else just sees them as excuses. He just wouldn't give it a second thought if he didn't want to do it..and tbh I don't know in what way he means what will happen to him...does he mean when he gets older?, what will happen at school?, has he been threatened with something? I just don't know I can't get anything more than I don't know what will happen to me. Just the other day he asked me what occupational means, I was slightly miffed at this out of the blue question but grabbed the dictionary all the same so we could have a look, when we found out he said oh that's what I am an occupational hazard?!?! on further gentle questioning he just said that he had heard it on a program (something which I know for a fact he had watched months ago) and that's what he is because he can't get anything right he was so sad and I don't know how to make him feel better, I'm his mum, I'm supposed to help him overcome these feelings and at the moment I am failing miserably.

Ok, apparently all is well with Ds's work , so not much I can do there really unless I go in and look at his books but tbh I think if he finds out we are going in to look at his books (He has always seemed to find out about any meetings we have had even though we have been very discrete ) it will cause him more anxiety. I managed to have an in depth chat with him last night and he means he doesn't know what will happen to him when he gets older if he can't even finish his school work. Sometimes he wishes he wasn't in our lives and it was just me, dad, and Dd because he is a ?Geek . I asked him what a Geek is he said a smart person...reassured him smart is a very good thing to be, pointed out that his dad/ granddad/ uncles are all smart too...asked him where he had heard that he said on TV and this is what he is, which then takes me back to another out of the blue comment he had made the day before about not wanting to do anything too special because he didn't want to stand out from everyone else??. It was suggested to me several months back by the EP that I try not to concentrate too much on what Ds says...how can I ignore these comments?

Oh no what a shame for both of you. It's awful to hear your child say that. I'm not sure what you can do except give him lots of cuddles & reassurance. Maybe tell him school's not that important . Lots of people don't do well at school but go on to do well in life (sure you can find out with Google. Richard Branson?). Can you focus on other activities he likes outside school? Swimming or art/craft, etc. Has he got a pet? They can often help (read A Friend Like Henry). Good luck & hugs.

If he is still anxious about the work at school, could you come to an arrangement with the teacher so that he can bring it home to finish it? Then he could do it in a more relaxed environment with you to help. Maybe it would build his confidence.

And I don't know if this would make any difference either, but I often give my son eggy bread for breakfast. They get maths just before lunchtime & I explained to him that eating a mixture of protein & carbohydrates would help him concentrate for longer!

Thanks emmetbrown We have had him bring his work home in previous years which he seemed to complete quite quickly with some support (wasn't particularly happy about it, but did it all the same) for some reason when I suggested it after he was off ill for a week the suggestion was ignored but the week off and what he had missed has been referred to on two separate occasions , sometimes I wonder if they WANT him to be behind...I don't know. Yeah we have had chats about Richard Branson and Chris Evans, but to tell him school isn't that important I'm not sure in case he then decides not to try anyway IYSWIM. After the various ups and downs in the past we decided to concentrate more on what he enjoys out side of school, enrolled him at scouts although some days he really doesn't want to go but we manage to persuade him then he is fine once he is there and will say he enjoyed it when he leaves, we are looking into swimming lessons, and have his name on a waiting list for gymnastics (only 4 months to go!!)...something he was really interested in when the olympics were on . He is a little inventor (smile) so anything he can build lego etc we have bought second hand and he has an arts and craft box which he gets out all the time, some of the things he can do with the minimal materials is amazing!. We have altered his diet as you have mentioned with your Ds because he said he gets tired quickly...which we think has made a small difference. At the moment we are on a very tight budget and we also have a Dd who we try treat when ever we buy something for our Ds which is putting pressure on the purse strings . So we just seem to of exhausted every possibility.