Dropping DS at school when I know he's miserable.

[BookieMonster]

. It's the start of a new school year here (Aus). DS (aged 7 with ADHD, constructional apraxia and poss dyslexia) really, really hates it. He doesn't like being away from me, he finds the school dynamic stressful, he's awkward socially so gets quite isolated.

The first few weeks of term are always horrendous until he gets used to the teacher and the classroom routine, and I know this. I also know that I don't have the skills or patience to homeschool. But he's so unhappy and I feel like crap.

Hi Bookie - as you say, it will get better, but so difficult for you both while he adjusts to lots of new things. My DS is 4 and had a lot of trouble at nursery last term resulting in anxiety, bad dreams etc. I found quite a few helpful things on Relax Kids - the download pack is good and I laminated the affirmation cards - he picks one each morning just before we leave for nursery and he loves them. It gives us something to focus on during the morning drive. I also tried to make him talk about it all more - very difficult to get much out of him (!) but someone on here suggested bedtime chat around i) rose - the best bit of the day ii) thorn - the worst bit of the day and iii) bud - what we're looking forward to tomorrow. In return for good chat he gets a hot cocoa. Please don't feel too badly.

Thank you.

I don't know the system down under, but what have the school been doing to help? It could be that your DS has sensory issues that the school could attempt to alleviate, quiet area, uncluttered displays. For his social issues, have they tried any social skills groups to encourage a circle of friends approach? Does the school have the equivalent of a special educational needs coordinator? Someone who is responsible for ensuring that DC with SEN are getting appropriate teaching and provision? Could you ask for a meeting and discuss you concerns?

Do they do a proper transition pack for him? My DS used to get a booklet made at the end of the year with pictures of the new classroom, copies of the timetable if appropriate, pictures of the staff, his desk, the toilets! etc and lots of extra visits to the new classroom. The booklet came home over the holidays and we went over it from time to time before he started back.

That transition pack sounds great, and no, we didn't get one. There is, allegedly, an SEN co-ordinator but she never seems to be there. It seems to be left to the teacher to come up with appropriate strategies and we always try to give a lot of input at the beginning of the year but TBH, I get the impression that they think he is just one more annoying thing to deal with.
The classroom is small and full to bursting with 24 kids. It's very busy, for all the senses. God, it sounds like there couldn't be a worse match for him, doesn't it?