Not SN but I think you lot could give me some good advice and a kick up the rear and tell me not to be so petty if needed - LONG sorry (attempt not to drip feed)

[tattoosarenotallowed]

Would you go into the school about this? Or am I being petty because she's my "baby" and the youngest?

DD2 is 10. P7 in primary. Small school there are only 7 girls in her class and 5 boys and that's the biggest class in the school They are taught in a composite P5/6/7 class (don't know if that is relevant or not)

Since Christmas there's been issues with one girl in the class who has been leaving DD out of things. Bringing in special badges for a secret club for the rest of the girls in the class, handing out the badges and banning the other girls from telling DD what the badges mean. Having a "special" bit of the playground that DD isn't allowed into, and only people in the secret club are allowed into.

DD was upset but she had a best friend who stuck by her and was happy enough that she still had X to play with. One of the other children had gone home and told their mum what was going on, that DD was left out, and the mum invited DD home for tea after school. The two girls had a great time and the DD is coming here tomorrow after school for tea as a return.

But now DDs previous best friend has taken the hump and has gone to the queen bee type and told her that X is trying to take DD away from her. She's doing stuff like hiding DDs pencil case, taking up the whole desk and giving DD no room, pushing when teacher's aren't looking.

And the atmosphere in the class is awful. At the beginning of the week the teacher took the girls out, gave them all a roasting and told them she didn't want to hear any complaints this week.

DD came out of school on Tuesday in tears, and again yesterday. She's scared to tell the teacher because MrsA said she didn't want to hear any complaints this week.

There is also supposed to be a "worry book" that the children can write their name in and the teacher will find time to talk to them privately. DD says she's looked lots and lots for this book since before Christmas and it's not in the drawer. The only book she can find in the drawer is "Johnny's bad behaviour book" which I am a bit about.

So, if you read all that, congratulations. Would you go into the school to speak to the head? Or should I just leave it?

i think that the fact that your daughter is upset would warrant a chat with the teacher - she may well have said she doesnt want to hear anything more this week but this was probably not aimed at your daughter and i think the teacher would me mortified that your daughter has taken her literally and is upset and worrying about it. a gentle word with the teacher who can reassure your daughter would be fine and would be worth mentioning where the worry book has disappeared to. friendships can be hard - my daughter is in a larger class and there are similar issues with the girls in her class but thankfully she doesnt get involved and can blend in - in a small class it is much harder to do that and the school should be sympathetic to this.

My dd is in a small class within a composite 3 class room as well and last year the teacher told each of the girls parents individually that at this age the girls do a lot of squabbling and falling out but she'd appreciate us mentioning it any time there's an issue so she can keep an eye out in class.

It's not unusual unfortunately and the teacher needs to know so she can deal with it effectively. Girls are very good at hiding this sort of behaviour from adults and the teacher may have no idea it's still going on.

Your poor dd I hope it's resolved soon

Thank you. I've just rung to make an appointment with the head - she's to ring me back. The playground is monitored. I'd go to the teacher, but part of my issues are how she's handling things so I think it's pointless to go to her?