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Announcing pregnancy with ASD in the family, advice please.

6 replies

Shellywelly1973 · 29/01/2013 13:58

My ds7 has a dx of ASD & ADHD.

I have 5 dc in total. 2 grown up, then dd11, ds7 & ds4. I have recently found out i am pregnant, due in September.

DP and I had discussed having more dc, we took the view of, not right now, but never say never. We know the risks of having another dc with SN.

Dp has been fantastic. I was concerned he would possibly be overwhelmed but, not at all. He's supportive and I have probably never felt so supported by him. (Previously, he really struggled with ds and he withdrew from the children & I during the whole dx process).

My concern is telling my family about the new baby, esp my sister and mum. They constantly go on about me or dp being sterilised. They both consider me to be wasting my time having kids, instead of the career i had to give up as ds only started full time school in the last few months.

I hate the pity, sympathy and all that miserable crap my family project on me. My ds has totally changed me, for the better. I have achieved so much for him. I nearly drove myself insane fighting the medical system, education systems, welfare systems and the on going issues that come with having a child with complex needs. But i am stronger, calmer and more confident because of ds.

Sorry i am rambling! If you had a SN dc & have gone onto have more children, how did you deal with friends/family negative reactions? Did you tell them individually or make it a general announcement?

I am concerned the new baby could have SN but i am not over thinking it...(apart from last night at 3am). How did other parents deal with this?

TIA !!

OP posts:
zzzzz · 29/01/2013 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shellywelly1973 · 29/01/2013 14:48

Oh zzzzz, you've just made me laugh like a mad lady!

Thankyou.

OP posts:
troutsprout · 29/01/2013 14:57

Awwww
Just awwww
How lovely smile
Dd , ds and I have a saying which we whisper to each other when confronted with general fuckwitterage
" just smile and wave... Smile and wave"
Congratulations !!

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/01/2013 15:03

Ah we have some 'idiots' in the family. We just told them that we were having another ds to replace the faulty one!

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/01/2013 15:03

Congratulations Grin

Shellywelly1973 · 29/01/2013 15:42

Thankyou all so much.

Starlight i thought of you the other night, i remember your labour/ birth thread.

My initial post probably came across as as smug... Most of the time i cope well. I get days where i am pulling my hair out, as we all do, weather we have SN kids or not.

Just 4 years ago i would have thought i couldn't cope with the situation i am in now. I had no understanding of ASD/ADHD/SN.

I was petty, concerned with what others thought of me and a miserable old bag really!

Now in the main , i don't give a shit what anyone thinks of me. I dont sweat the small stuff and i am grateful for all i have. I love my extended family but they don't 'get it', they probably never will... Their loss, not mine.

Thankyou for your lovely, sweet & kind responses!

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